wildfire
JoinedTopics Started by wildfire
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46
I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP
by wildfire ini have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.
florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.
to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............
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PLEASE HELP ME GET TO DALLAS CRAWFISH PARTY ON MAY 6TH...
by wildfire inhello dear friends...
i have a chance to get to dallas for the crawfish party on may 6th..i live in austin, tx and was planning on taking a bus to dallas on sunday....( i really dont like to drive in dallas)
the problem is i need someone to help me to get from point a to point b//namely from the bus station to the party and from there i would need a place to stay for sunday night...my funds are limited so was hoping to room with someone at the nearby hotel..or someones home if thats possible..
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I got backmy sick son,,, just to lose the rest ofmy family
by wildfire ini am so upset ,,its hard to even write this out...but i know i must.....someof you know of my past...coming from a very difficult marriage with a so--called annointed one.. who made my life and the lives of my 5 children.
a living hell.....i only have one daughter in the borg...but even tho i am dis associated she still talks to me....i moved to texas to be near my daughter and my grand kids...but now i am being ostrasized for helping my schizophrenic son (24),,who couldnt make it on his own in north dakota...... and my son almost didnt make it to texas as he was thrown off the bus for smoking and abandoned... i went on a mission to find him.....by backtracking and giving out flyers of his picture with my phone ..number on it.
as it happened someone recognized him and i got him back....safe but not sound..... so now my daughters and their boyfriends have disowned me for taking him in....why i am not really sure....but with everyday mydepression gets worse....i have been hospitalized for attempted suicide many times...and theythink i am making up this shit..... just recently i was hospitalized ,,,for another suicide attempt... i think iwill make the next one stick...my brother killed himself at 38,,, no one knew the horrible secrets in his life and the family didnt want to know......now hes gone...leavingbehind 3 daughters and 2 grand daughters.. do they even know the pain and torments i have endured for soo long being in a cult...my 21 yr old daugher willlnever forgive me for what i did toher... sheis out now... but her sister is still in and i know its tearing her apart....my 24 yr old son is schizophrenic and may never be normal....but i am taking care of him as the rest ofthe family have abandoned him to my care....ha i cant even take care of me...for christs sake... for those of you i met at dallas in may,,,you know me right could i really be capable of being so selfish...so uncaring......i need your prayers and strength to get me thru this now.... there were so many things i couldnt do,, when my kids were being abused... i had to be submissive to that fucking jerk...he hurt me ,,, the borg hurt me....everyone gets hurt..... but this may be the straw that broke the camels back....words can and do hurt ,,, i can only say sorry to them so much.....but their dad willnever do that..he willnever make there hurt go away..... i just need ed to be heard as my daughters do not want me to talk to them....and it is breaking my heart in two so imust get my book done..before i am gone for good.....shalom my dear friends
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Hey Gang I am getting my brain scanned tomorrow
by wildfire inyup thats right iam going to have an mri on my brain...... i have severe numbness on my left side of my face and no feeing in my hands and arm......i have been hurt in 3 car accidents and have two herniated disks in my neck ( oh i pray that they don't have to do surgery......pray for me )))))) i thought i had ms.... a while back because of the numbness but they said no...... well now i get another scan andgo to see a neurologist ,,,, i hope they find out what the problem is so i wont be on
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WILD FIRE HAS BEEN INVADED BY AUSTIN SWAT TEAM!!!!!
by wildfire inyes my life is just one big crazy circus,,,, i go to the apostofest and have a great time.....meeting great people,,, and then i come home to recoupe... well i am in my new house ,, trying to put things away ,,, when i hear a pounding on the back door.... i am alittle startled thinking it was my daughter,,,no think again,, its the austin swat team with all there gear and weapons drawn... (i abouttttttttttt shit my pants....) they had to tear down a portion of my security fence to get in....( i shudder to think if i wasnt home,,, would they have just broke down my door.... me thinks so.....) so i go what is this about...they tell me there is a guy across the street with a rifle shooting .... and making threats... they proceed to all gather at the only window i have downstairs ,,,,and keep telling me to get down.... incase the bullets start flying.....am i dreaming...is this really happening to me.... i just wanted to start my life over... and now it could be ending//////i keep running upstairs to change my clothes...and then they invade my bedroom as it has the perfect spot to watch him,,, as they move around my not moved in stuff to another corner////one guy was sooo sweet and done was a complete moron ordering me around ...in my house./....yikes.....so finally one guy say s get her out of here and i hear 6 shots.....this time i did shit my pants but thank god i was kneeling in the bathroom.... i must have been a bad girl at the apostofest... i am being punished for all my sins .. oh this will take awhile so macho swat team guy says take her out of here of course i gladly leave while i am being escorted by a nice copper.... now remember my 2 vehicles are right outside and the chance they will get shot up are good ...!!!
!so i am alittle concerned my house has become commando central...with austins finest... and i am escorted around the street to a van/////i left ndak for this... why not ... they dont callme wild fire for nothing.... well minutes pass and i meet my neighbors ,, welcome wagon texas style....yikes,,,,,so finally the all clear is given i walk up to some smart asses and say what if my vehilcles are all shot up they say well you need to talke to so and so...i go great while my life passssses before my eyes... i go back to my house ... afraid of i may find inside ... but alas.,,, only the wooden shades to the window are damaged scuff marks on the floor and my bedroom looks well messy like it did before.....all this time i am taking pictures of everything ... all for proof and to think i didnt even hand in the move --in sheet yet... what a hoot.... they hauled him away safely.. but the yellow tape comes up so i cant go anywhere and i am invaded by detectives.. police... they take pics and ask ????...
i dont know much i just moved in...soooooooooooooo what can i say...adventure or trouble follows me around for sure.....he was shooting mostly at the trash can and he did shoot close to my vehicle but missed it//// oh well... dontcha know ,,, life is one big circus.. parade...you name it, i am usually in the middle of it..... i miss you guys already... gumby,, shotgun, valis.... cg...theresa....wild turkey and dede...npy... winston.. xena....joanne... my northern partner in crime/////i am just glad its all over or is it????
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WILDFIRE IS BACK IN THE SADDLE...
by wildfire inhi gang , its good to be back ...........i have gone through 2 years of captivity ,,i have been out of the jws since 2002, i moved to austin ,,texas in 2004.. i even had the priviledge of attending a true dallas apostofest,which i will never forget..met alot of great apostates..
but for 2years i have been in a tailspin..last april my 20yr old jehovah witness daughter got married in minnesota.
oh ya i was invited, only to the wedding which was not held in a kingdom hall (because of me iam sure)..my son who was never baptized came allthe way from florida to his little sisters wedding, only to be treated like he was da or df..we were not allowed at the reception and the only pictures i got were from my other daughter who (she was studying at the time so she was allowed to stay for all the festivities..) so me and my son decided to do what any out cast would do...went drinking and checking out the quaint little town that night...had a blast...they had not won ,,i was down but not out...haha
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MS WILDFIRE NEEDS SOME LOVE AND CONCERN ,,,,,,,PLEASE
by wildfire ini really can understand the meaning of hate now........ i truley hate what the cult of the watchtower has done to me and my family.... my son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 20,,,,(his uncle on his dads side also had the disease around that time ))) as some of you know he ended up in jail and a prison term because of things he did while in his schizophrenic state....all the while he was disassociated from the witnesses ,,,so he received no help from the loving elder body ( of vipers)....even when he was in jail,, an elder came to study with the lost ones... and because he knew of my sons situation would not allow him to comment at the prison study.....
but he goes faithfully and sits by himself in his tattered clothes in the back....as we all know the drill....some how he gets back in.... i am devastated..as i have 3 children who never will go back because of their sadistic ,, annointed father and stepfather......who molested his own daughter.....( another horrible story)l its hard for me to write ,,, i hope you will put up with me ,, those of you who know me and even those who dont...this is my therapy... i must write it out....well as it goes he is not welcomed back.. its all for show,,,he cant stop smoking....and so he goes off his meds and is living in the streets...with no help or support from the brothers ,,,a term i use very loosely....he missed the district convention,, because no one could find him and then ......they find him to corner him like a rat (knowing fullwell of his mental condition ) and they disfellowship him......the anger and rage that i feel...is uncontrollable at times......i hate ,, i hate ,,,, i hate so much of what they did to me and sooo many other ss ......forgive me ....this freaking cult needs to be destroyed... once and for all,,, and i will not rest until i rescue my last child from its grip.......( i have one daughter whos 18 that is still in)))) i am cryingso hard now its hard to type,,thank you for hearing my story,,, its just a very small part of what me and my family have been thru ...thanks for listening and peace to you my dear friends...
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WHICH QUEEN SONG BEST DESCRIBES YOU NOW
by wildfire inhi gang aliittle post about a great late band: and i want to know which one of these songs best describe your life now as an ex jw or slowly fading one or whatever : the songs the songs are we are the champions-----another one bites the dust-----fat ---bottomed girls-------bicycle--------we will rock you----somebody to love-------you make me live ,,,,,, well there it is give me your take on these great oldie songs ok thanks alot just me sing ing my way to a better life .......
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MY FRIEND OF OVER 20 YRS CALLED ME AN EVIL APOSTATE,,SO NOW I DIE????
by wildfire inwildfire here and man am i glad i came back.
she knows the horror stories of how my annointed ex husband treated me and my kids........ i know i am rambling on ,, but i really needed some one at that very moment of desperation... so i called a true friend to come over and take me away some where any where......and guess what,,, that is exactly what he did without hesitation....( he too was treated badly in his youth by the nazi cultic borg ) if he would not have been there to console me=========i may not be writing this now.... well i couldnt sleep ,, so i woke up at 4 am and decided to visit my invisible angels online..... i read and cried many posts touched my heart with the reality that we are all in this together,,,,,,,.
those bastards arent going to get me down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
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A letter to MY DAUGHTER,,,,PLEASE FORGIVE ME.....
by wildfire in.
i know you come tothis site to check out things...so if this is the only way to talk toyou then i will do it and make it all public.....for all my true friends to see....i know that i didnt protect you from your step father....the blessed annointed one who made allof our lives a living hell....i was the parent,,you were the child,,,and the children are the future...(maybe home is where the heart is giving up to the one.....we spend all of our lives going out of our minds,,,looking back to our birth, those who stood up for love in spite of the hate.....) those are words of a song by live called they stood up for love....... i was in the midst of a mind--bending cult,,for so many years...and i know all of my children have suffered in one way or the other...even tho only one is still an active witness...we are all scarred and will always be...but my love for you and your brothers and sisters is the one true thing i can give you.... please dont take my grand children away from me..seeing them the other day for that brief moment gave me such happiness---i think back to the happy times when they were born and i was there for two of them....how many grand parents can say that....they will never know their grand pa ,,but dear daughter please dont take away their grand mother who loves them soooo much..... life is too short...each day is precious...please lets get back to forgiveness and some kind of sweet co --existence...my other daughter wrote a precious,,caring letter that made me cry and cry..... i would never come between you and your man....you know that...and i know he is under alot of pressure,,and i care about him very much,, he is the father of my darling grand kids..and done so much for me and my children....i know i can never repay him for all he has done...i just hope he knows that i love him too.
please my first born...know that not a day goes by that i dont think of the wonderful..strong..person you have become,,and how very proud of you i am....you have the chance to be the better mother to your 3 children...without the influence of a dangerous cult plaguing your every move..and iknow my grand children will grow strong,, happy and well adjusted because of you and their father/.... again please find it in your heart to forgive me...i need you in my life to make it complete for this journey would not be complete without you in it .......