A letter to MY DAUGHTER,,,,PLEASE FORGIVE ME.....

wildfire

I know you come tothis site to check out things...so If this is the only way to talk toyou then I will do it and make it all public.....for all my true friends to see....I know that I didnt protect you from your step father....the blessed annointed one who made allof our lives a living hell....I was the parent,,you were the child,,,and the children are the future...(maybe home is where the heart is giving up to the one.....we spend all of our lives going out of our minds,,,looking back to our birth, those who stood up for love in spite of the hate.....) those are words of a song by live called THEY STOOD UP FOR LOVE......

I was in the midst of a mind--bending cult,,for so many years...and I know all of my children have suffered in one way or the other...even tho only one is still an active witness...we are all scarred and will always be...but my love for you and your brothers and sisters is the one true thing I can give you...

Please dont take my grand children away from me..seeing them the other day for that brief moment gave me such happiness---I think back to the happy times when they were born and I was there for two of them....how many grand parents can say that....they will never know their grand pa ,,but dear daughter please dont take away their grand mother who loves them soooo much....

life is too short...each day is precious...please lets get back to forgiveness and some kind of sweet co --existence...my other daughter wrote a precious,,caring letter that made me cry and cry....

I would never come between you and your man....you know that...and I know he is under alot of pressure,,and I care about him very much,, he is the father of my darling grand kids..and done so much for me and my children....I know i can never repay him for all he has done...I just hope he knows that I love him too

Please my first born...know that not a day goes by that I dont think of the wonderful..strong..person you have become,,and how very proud of you I am....you have the chance to be the better mother to your 3 children...without the influence of a dangerous cult plaguing your every move..and Iknow my grand children will grow strong,, happy and well adjusted because of you and their father/...

Again please find it in your heart to forgive me...I need you in my life to make it complete for this journey would not be complete without you in it .......

kls

WildFire, i do hope she reads this and you get the answer you need.

((((((((((Hugs to you and your daughter)))))))))))

Country_Woman

Wildfire, I hope this will work for you AND her.

Billygoat

(((((wildfire))))),

I hope that things work out for you and your daughter. It takes a lot to step out and share your heart like that. But to be realistic, if my father came to me with that exact same letter, I don't know how quickly I'd open my arms to him. There were YEARS of pain covered with more years of pain, covered with neglect, and abuse. He joined the JWs when I was about 8, so 25 years of pain isn't going to absolve itself with a simple letter. Should your daughter need it, give her space and time. It might be what she needs in order to have the relationship a mother should have with their parent.

Love,

Andi

AuntieJane

Wildfire, bless you. I have a daughter myself and we have our "moments" but have not been through an experience like yours. I do know that time heals, and I hope for you and your daughter to achieve a well-deserved peaceful relationship when the time is right. Take care.

Granny Linda

Wildfire...

Gawd, when you mentioned "grandchildren" my heart just melted.

I'm so very fortunate that my only child, a son and his family, live close by.

I'm also aware that one day they will relocate...so not seeing those blessed grandchildren as often creates a deep sorrow within, but one I know I'll have to deal with.

Whatever we did/didn't do in our own children's lives...at some point we do find the courage to apologize and make an honest effort at making amend(s) for our error. It's the kids, damnit. We're not the same people our children may have known years ago. And what about the issues our grandchildren will more then likely have with their parents. And then what? The parent still blaims us, so as the grandparent we don't get to see our beloved grandchildren. That would suck, for sure.

If nothing else perhaps your letter is another means by which you can find further self-forgiveness if that is an issue with you. Like I said, when you mentioned "grandchildren" - I understand that one and wish you the best.

granny

toladest

Wildfire, I talked to your daughter and she really loves you and is not trying to shun you. She is just feeling very pulled in all directions lately. She is trying to be supportive of her sister right now and as you have admitted they have been through a lot of bad sh** in their lives. She loves you and feels for you, but she also has to take other things into consideration. I know that you know what some of the issues are and I think you just need to give it some time. There are also some things in your own life that you need to work on if you want to be close to them. She also understands that you were very young and a victim yourself for many years, but at the same time, they were put through hell because of your inabilty to protect them. Not blaming you, you just need to understand that it all takes a toll. Your middle daughter probably has not reached the point of forgivness, but then I have not spoken to her so I can't be sure.I think (from what your older daughter said) that she blames you for your youngest still being a JW. She needs time to figure it out. And maybe some space too. The abuse suffered by you and your kids is some of the worst I have heard of. Look at your oldest and be proud of where she is in life. Be happy that she has managed to become a very good mom to 3 wonderful kids. Be glad that she has found a guy that she loves dearly and that loves her back. Be proud of the person she has become despite the horendous abuse she sufferd. She is the most empathetic person I know. But remember that she is also fragile. She has her husband pulling one way because he wants to protect her and what they have built (even if he is a bit over-protective), her sister is pulling another way because she has a lot of anger in her and she is very young yet. And you are pulling yet another direction. All she wants is to make everyone happy and this does not seem possible at this point. Be careful not to "break" her. I think the best advice I could give you is to be patient, be ready to receive them when they are ready to receive you, work on getting your life in order in the meantime, and just try not to push. I know it's hard for you and all you want is for everyone to be one big happy family, but it will NOT happen over night. Just remember that she does love you very much!

Lots of Love,

You Know Who

Vickie

wildfire, just hang in there I know it is very hard. I have so many family issues here maybe not like yours but equally disturbing to me. Please let me know if you need anything that I may assitst you in

Nosferatu

There are also some things in your own life that you need to work on if you want to be close to them.

This sentence really stands out. Why is being close to the grandchildren conditional? This really doesn't make sense.

All she wants is to make everyone happy and this does not seem possible at this point.

My advice here is you can never make EVERYONE happy. A person will make themselves miserable trying to make everyone happy. The only way to be happy is to make youself happy. When you give into everyone else's expectations, you can never comprimise.

Wildfire, I hope things get better in the near future.

confusedjw

Toladest - what a nice reassuring measure you have just taken. That was a very nice thing to do. Sounds like a happy ending in this is possible.

Good luck Wildfire.

A letter to MY DAUGHTER,,,,PLEASE FORGIVE ME.....

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