Minimus Chapter 1

by minimus 179 Replies latest members adult

• 

  Mary

  But the birth of Mini-me was in this way. During the time his mother was promised in marriage to Minimus, she was found to be pregnant by Gumby after a night of bliss in the backseat of his chariot. However, Minimus, her husband, because he was a sucker, believed her when she said an angel got her pregnant, intended to divorce her secretly just as soon as he could get Mark Geragos as his lawyer. And lo, one night he drank too much from his vineyard and he had a dream where someone like a Son of Mini-mee said to him "Minimus, don't be an asshole. You may as well marry her and keep the child for yourself, as she will get 50% of all your assets in court."

  So Minimus woke from the dream with a terrible hangover and did just so.
• 

  gumby

  But the birth of Mini-me was in this way. During the time his mother was promised in marriage to Minimus, she was found to be pregnant by Gumby after a night of bliss in the backseat of his chariot.

  And it came to pass that the lord came to know that Gumby had not only seeded Minimus's soon to be bride, but also Mary and Sunspot, the two town prostitutes. To this day the Minimites have an alter built which says " cursed are the Marianites and Sunspotites".

  Then Minimus and his mother made some stew that his father was so fond of made outta jack rabbit peckers and went into the tent of his father and.....................

  Gumby
• 

  minimus

  And lo and behold, the entire assembly begain to sing praises to Minimus and Gumby grew hot in anger. Gumby and Mary proceeded to think up a plan to do away with the loving Minimus and from that tome onward the LORD watchted over Minimus.
• 

  xjwms

  Hey min

  How does it feel to have the lord watch over you?
• 

  Mary

  And three wise men named Curly, Larry and Moe drove a mouldy old chariot that they stole from Judah Jed-Clampet and met up with Gumby the Great who said "call me on my cell phone when you find the child, so that I too may go and kill it----I mean, worship it.." So the three of them drove off and followed the yellow brick road. And they came to see the child Mini-mee lying in a manger as there were no rooms available to his parents who's credit cards were rung up to the max.
• 

  minimus

  And Minimus told the LORD, "LORD, please don't watch me so closely". But the LORD ignored Minimus again.
• 

  LittleToe

  And eventually the Lord got bored of watching MNMS so closely, so he allocated some poor sucker a Japanese to do it. Unfortunately the poor soul took his commission a little too seriously, and one day when MNMS when down to the plains of Peor and stooped suddenly, he collided.

  That is why, to this day, it is called the Jap's eye.
• 

  Sunspot

  Meanwhile, as Mary was trying to find diapers for the poor babe, the good-hearted prostitute Sunspot, was getting to "know" more of the townspeople, "working" to procure money for a diaper service and for an artist to portray the babe and the holy family to etch their likenesses in stone for the monument to be erected in the center of the city.
• 

  xjwms

  the LORD caught minimus looking at porn on the internet
• 

  minimus

  The LORD saw that it was not good so he killed off the babies and blamed it on the Devil again. And since that day, the saying was, "The Devil made me do it".