Minimus Chapter 1 (page 15)

Mary

But the enemies of Minimus were great and powerful. And they bided their time and hired assassins. And look, Minimus drove his chariot through Dealy Plaza one day and was struck on the head with an arrow from behind a wooden fence. But his death stroke got healed and all the world followed him in wonderment saying "Who is like Minimus, and who can do battle with him?"

And Minimus was so full of pride and arrogance afterwards that he replaced The Donald as the most recognized name in all the land. And he appeared to many on Oprah and Dr. Phil and Dateline for 1,260 days.

minimus

Ahhh Yes! Minimus was, as it were, ressurected from a deathlike inactivity and he became as 2 Witnesses for the LORD for 3 and one half times times 3 divided by 144,000.

undercover

And at the end of the Geritol Times, minimus returned. However the return was invisible and no one recognized him save for a few minimites that had discerned from the scriptures that minimus' return was imminent.

The minimites preached the good news of mimimus throughout the earth and gained many followers. The minimites grew in number and built a new worship hall and dubbed it mingdom hall and all the minimites throughout the land made pilgrimage there to worship the return of the LORD's fateful and desecrated slave.

Rod P

And the Lord God of Minimus saith, "Lo Minimus, because of the pride that is in thee, I shall cause you to be brought low, and banish you to the Isle of Survivor at a place of mine own choosing, and there you shall spend 40 days and 40 nights, in order that you might contemplate the evil and sinful thoughts that thou doest entertain. And you shall know of a surety that I the Lord thy God, am your God, and the only God with whom you have to do! For there is none other than ME! ME! ME! I tell you this day, you shall be with me in Survivor! And there, behold, I shall teach you a lesson you shall never forget!"

minimus

Minimus knew not even---that HE was the Saviour. He called himself merely the "slave". But the followers of Minimus knew better. They discerned with the aid of Holy Spirit that Minimus was indeed the Faithul and Wise Servant, the Faithful and Discreet Slave.

Mary

Now Minimus proceeded to plant a vineyard during Prohibition and fashioned several bathtubs after his own likeness. And he crushed the grapes in the bathtub, strained it and let it age for a time, times and half a time. When he drank some of the hooch, he became drunk and lay naked as a jay bird inside his tent. And Mini-mee saw his father's nakedness and took pictures and sold them to the National Enquirer for 30 pieces of silver. But LittleToe and Gumby went one step further and hired two prostitutes to pose naked in a video tape with him while he was still out cold. They made a fucking fortune off of this.

minimus

The wrath of Minimus grew hot and when he got out of his stupor he ran away to the land called San Diego and built himself a mansion called "Beth Sarim" for his lodging was that of a prince's and The Slave's.

HoChiMin

Alas, HoChiMin Erectus has said... minimus NoErectus shall as in Ezekiel 23:20 never understand the nuance "And she kept lusting in the style of concubines belonging to those whose fleshley members is as the fleshley member of male asses and whose genital organ is as the genital organ of male horses" for he could never measure up.

HCM

minimus

And the LORD GOD 's anger BLAZED against HoChiMin for the derision he had caused on Minimus and his kin. The LORD smote HoChiMin for spreading lies about the member of Minimus and he cursed HoChiMin and made his member like that of a cashew. And Minimus was GREATLY blessed by the LORD with 10 times the size of HoChiMin's cashew. And the LORD said it was good enough for him but he continued to bless and prosper his son, Minimus.

Sunspot

Now it came time for the festival, and all the people were in great expectation. HoChiMin's cashew came to be known worldwide, and was being shown as a live display to amuse the nations.

And it came to be that there was a band of roving Apostamins who were hell-bent on exposing Min's many secrets and deceptions among the people. They had the Mighty Mesereau on their side, and who can come up against him and fail?

Minimus Chapter 1

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