Minimus Chapter 1 (page 17)

Rod P

Life is like a bunch of nuts. You never know which one your gonna get next! (Groan...Boohhh! Hisss!)

fairy

While minimus was wondering about, he came acrosseth coconuts and notice that there were many that haveth a face on them thateth looketh like that of God...there were many of them.

"OOOH!! what a lovely bunch of coconuts" minimus saideth unto himself

And LittleToe and Gumby tooks their ill-gotten gains, from videoing father MNMS in compromising positions, and LittleToe invested the monies and made a bloody fortune, while Gumby buried his in the earth.

An lo, a time of accounting came upon them, and LittleToe said to fatehr MNMS, look, I had riches, and I invested it and have reaped a bloody great whopping fortune. And Gumby was shamed of face as he produced the money of the filthy rich, in equal measure to that which he had first acquired.

And the mighty MNMS took Gumby's fortune and gave it to LittleToe (minus a small percentage cut), declaring that such will be done to him who sows not and reaps not. And he cast him outside, and his wailing and gnashing of teeth was great.

And MNMS and LittleToe had a right good knees up, with wine women and song, while Gumby feasted on carob

Dismembered

A long time ago, when the Earth was green,
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen.
And they ran about and played while the Earth was being born,
And the loveliest of all was Dancing Minimus.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the Dancing Minimus.

The Lord seen some sinning and it caused Him pain.
And He said, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain!"
He said, "Hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do,
Go and build me a floating zoo,"

"and take some".......

"Green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born.
Don't you forget My Dancing Minimus."

Old Noah was there to answer the call,
He finished up the ark just as the rain started to fall.
Then he marched in the animals two by two,
And he called out as they came through,

"Hey Lord,"

"I've got green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn,
I just can't find no Dancing Minimus!"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain,
That Dancing Minimus was hiding, playing silly games.
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pourin',
Oh, that silly Dancing Minimus!

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Noah cried, "Close the door because it's starting to storm,
And we just can't wait for that Dancing Minimus!"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide,
Minimuslooked up from the rocks and he cried.
And the waters came down and sort of floated him away,
That's why you'll never see a Dancing Minimus to this very day.

You'll see some green alligators and long-necked geese,
Lots of humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
You're never gonna see a Dancing Minimus!

Dismembered

"Cripes"

HoChiMin

ALAS! WHAT IS THIS BLASPHAMY I HAVE AWAKENED TO? I was told in a dream no one could interpret and by a stain on the wall that my name will now be HoChicudnezzar. And all opposers will be banished to an abyss of the GB where soiled diapers lay upon the hole of the cobra and one hundred and forty four thousand wrinkled centogenariens and pseudo (pronounced pa-suede-o in this case) country singers mill around naked. The cashew will be banded with copper and named Jessie for the hell of it so it won't grow. Some big ass statue of me HoChicudnezzar made of several diferant metals one being tooth filler amalgam will defecate on all the GB and other twerps that hang out with them. The stump of Jessie will grow in stature to match the big ass statue with some lame stone flying around cut out be gorilla (pronounced Go-Rilla in this case) hands. Then chimps will bite off minmus erectums testies for all to see.

HCM

blondie

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the Dancing Minimus.

Dismembered, I had forgotten this song. Hahahahaha, what a wonderful parody.

Blondie

Dismembered

Blondie

Dismembered

HoChiMin

Dissie did I forget to mention all will be Dismembered? Now is that literal or figurative?

HCM

Dismembered

You'll have to tell me

Dismembered

"Be careful what you wish for ...punk"

Sunspot

And it came to be that the statue of HoChicudnezzar was in dire needeth of repair, the seasons had ravaged its countenance (not to mention the pigeons that abideth therein) and the peoples had all but forgotten it.

Some of the townspeople gatheredeth under the likeness and indulged themselves with intoxicating cannabis and drank stomped fruit of the vine. While in this altered state of mind, these townspeople tooketh upon themselves to renovate the statue. The remaining ones who were soundeth of mind, when they saw the desecration by the next sunrise were sorely heated with anger.

Minimus Chapter 1

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