Minimus Chapter 1

by minimus 179 Replies latest members adult

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  xjwms

  the devil made me do it too
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  kittyeatzjdubs

  And then came the evil demon Kittyeatzjdubs. She rained down havoc and turmoil on god's people, biting of their crunchy heads and sucking out the chewy brain center.
  

  MWAH-HA-HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
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  Sunspot

  So throughout the land, the peoples were chanting "the Devil made me do it" and the false religions flourished thereto.

  This set the path for every man, woman and child to live in doubt whether they "had the truth" or not. Snake oil salesmen, charlatans and readers of the palm were welcomed into the people's homes to start free home bible studies.
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  OldSoul

  Then the Lord got to see the vanity of Minimus, which had not diminished at discovering that his wife-to-be was unchaste. The Lord determined to reveal unto Minimus a truth, by way of revelation. And the Lord caused Minimus to fall into a deep sleep and in the power of the spirits and mushrooms he had consumed Minimus was carried away.

  Look! Before his eyes there appeared something like a wispy, willowy, thin tree which did wave in any slight wind, for it had no strength within itself. And while he kept on beholding, in the visions of his sleep, and look! A larger, and mightier tree began to strike upward from the earth! This latter tree proceeded to crowd out the first, so that it could get no light or water. And he kept on beholding in the visions of his sleep, and look! The smaller tree did shrivel up, for want of nourishment.

  And Minimus did wake, troubled by these visions. And at that very moment, look! Verily did the mushrooms kick in. An angel of the Most High visited Minimus and did speak, "Why are you vexed, Minimus? For the Lord has shown favor in that to you it is being revealed the understanding of your vision. The willowy tree that you saw, in that it was limp and had no power in it, this tree is you yourself! The mightier tree which did crowd you out, his name shall be called Gumby. The light and water is the love of your wife-to-be, and her craving shall be for the larger and mightier tree that strikes upward from the earth. This is the meaning of your vision, and it has been given to me to diminish your vanity by means of a Revelation."

  An Minimus got to see his shame, and did pronounce, "This day, I have been caused to see my shame. Screw that!"
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  minimus

  And Minimus proceeded to look for Gumby so as to kill him in a large way.....
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  Sunspot

  And the wrath of Min was whispered about from town to town, and the worshipers of Gumby banded together planning strategy and wondering if Min would really melt in their hands or not.

  Meanwhile, the Snake oil salesmen, the Charlatans and the readers of the palm continued to worm their way into the households of the people under the watchful and eager eyes of the Devil.
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  Rod P

  And lo the people did leave the safety of their houses, and began to wander to and fro over the land.

  For the Devil seeketh to devour them, like a roaring lion.

  But where there is no vision, the people perisheth. For these poor people searcheth endlessly, never able to come to an accurate knowledge of the TRUTH!

  And the Lord God of Minimuth (All he wanth for Chrithmuth ith hith two front teeth) looked down and felt pity for them all..............Poor suckers!
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  minimus

  Minimus was spoken to by the LORD and he was told to go to Shinar (China).While there he met the Buddah and read the Bagavad Ghita before all onlookers. And the multitudes shouted in one voice these words, "O Minimus, divine asker of all questions---good and bad---- give us your divine wisdom". This is what they all said at the same time, in unsion. And no such thing was ever duplicated again!
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  undercover

  And the people did revolt against minimus for minimus made great utterances but never performed any great deeds. The people banded together to see how best to smite minimus and take his red dotted septor and seek a new diviner of questions.

  Minimus overheard the murmuring of the people and grew fearful and hid among the hillarys and alanfs of his advisors hoping to rely on their wisdom to prevail over the angry mob.

  However the advisors, using their power of logic deduced that minimus was doomed and forsook him to the crowd to be torn asunder and devoured as a red M&M on a hot day.
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  minimus

  But Minimus sensing the disobedience of the people prayed to the LORD. "Please LORD correct these evildoers before they take your Anointed One away". And the LORD GOD saw that Minimus His Servant loved him with his whole heart and that the disobedient ones were evil in heart. So He smote all those would be assasins of His Son. And just as the mob thought they were going to overpower the Min, the LORD GOD crushed every disobedient man's testicles and closed the mouths of every dissenting woman so that no woman could ever speak again. The LORD did it just so.