Ravyn I think its real nice that you shared all of that, and you know what really pleases me? Is that you got that sought after gift for $20. You deserved it.
I know little (nothing) about Woden, I'll have to look up some info on him.
For me there was no time out spent meditating or anything like that, I didnt set the scene for anything, though I was discussing Scripture just before hand, dont know if that would count?
Frannie & Ravyn, I'll go a little deeper into what happened.
It was a Monday and the elders were to be calling that night, I had arranged for them to call to see me to finish off a chapter in the "United in Worship book", I had put it off for months but decided to let them come.
About 2pm in the afternoon I felt very certain that I had to go to my moms house and someone would be there who had the answers to all my questions, I decided that it was just in my mind. (I am sceptical of all these things). So carried on preparing for the elders. By 4pm the feeling was more certatain than ever that I had to go, this was coupled with a very solid feeling in my heart of reasurance, I had never known that feeling before but it was an absolute comfort, it was as if someone had reached into me and was touching me in the chest, I could breath in and feel it. (I cant really find another way of explaining it).
By 6pm I was on the way to my mothers knowing I was letting the elders down since they were to arrive at 7pm ( I had every intention of being there for them, even though I knew at this stage that my religion was not the truth I just couldnt let it go). As I walked towards my mothers door the feeling in my chest was almost tangible, I could still breath in and feel it, it was an assured expectation of somethnig that had not happened yet.
I ran into my mothers house and said "Whose here?", if my mother had said an "elder" was here, then I would have re examined everything with him because I was certain someone was going to be there who had the answers for me. Well my ma said "No one is here" and I felt a little confused.
She then asked me why I hadnt been to meetings for 3 weeks and why I was turning my back on Jah. To this I responded that I wasnt turning my back on Jah, I was learning more about him. I then confronted her about the resurrection of Christ and how he was raised bodily according to the Sciptures. She started to cry. "Next you will believe in the trinity and be one of those mad born again Christians" she said.
Well she walked away from me and I walked into her kitchen to see who was in there (gee I was still looking for someone from the Kingdom hall).
I accepted the fact that no one was there. then sat on a seat and then my eyes opened to who Christ was, it was like another pair of eyelids opened within my eyes and I saw him and came to know him personally from that day. I didnt see a figure or a vision and I didnt get goosebumps or lose control or anything like that. I just knew him and knew that it wasnt all in the mind. The person who I met had all the answers, I didnt get them but he had them and that was who I set out to meet that day.
I left my mothers house a totally knew person, I wrote my da letter immediately and have never been so certain of anything up to this very day. It all made sense to me, the doctrinal arguments, the diversity of religion and all those confusing questions were disolved on the spot. I still shed a lot of tears at losing everyone but that was because of the loss and the unfamiliaratity of "the world" and not knowing what next and the deprogramming. But I knew him. I can never deny this, I cant except its just a "brain" thing because of the external parts that led me all the way through out the day and the final meeting.
I havent captured the whole thing, its not all intelectual but its not all mind either.
When I got home, and this might sound corny, I read Romans 10, "If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that he raised Christ from the dead, you will be saved" Paraphrased. Well that seemed to fit what had just happened to me. Well I cant add anything else to it. People have to make their own decisions and I dont have all the answers.
I dont base my whole life on that one experience, but I do believe it saved my life from the madness of it all. I believe in using intellect so I am at odds with a lot of Churches and cant settle into any. I'm still sceptical and question everything, but I will always believe in Christ and know him. I cant deny it unless I lie to myself.
Brummie
