Dansk,
Seems like most people on this board have been through this, and we really understand how heart-wrenching it is. It's great to see you thinking clearly through this ordeal.
When I left Bethel in the early 80's, I had already been preparing to leave for about 3 years, but I couldn't have done it gracefully, without support. I got that support from my wife. It's great to see a few of you doing this with each other's support (in spite of the problem of your daughters)
My brother left shortly after I did. My sister wouldn't believe any of my story, but left for her own reasons a couple years later -- and now understands it completely. My parents and grandparents on both sides were the staunchest against me, and my mother would have spit on me even for attending her brother's funeral a few years after I left (that uncle had left the JWs in the 1950s). Over the years, it's gotten much better with them, and although gradual, we now call each other regularly and have great conversations as long as I don't broach "spiritual" subjects. (Of course, they can mention their assemblies and what-not as often as they want.) They've even taken my children on camping trips and sent them gifts in December.
Each case is different, but it sounds like you have an excellent chance at getting the family back in good graces with each other, at least.
Gamaliel