TORN APART

by Dansk 449 Replies latest members private

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  xjw_b12

  (((((((((((((( Dear Dansk and Family.)))))))))))))

  We are reaching out across the big pond that seperates our continents to give you and yours a big hug.

  Wife (calamity jane ) was on the board earlier today, and the moment I came into the house from dropping the kids off at their swimming lessons, birthday parties etc, she was at the front door, in tears, urging me to come to the computer and read your post.

  Dansk...I like to think of myself as a tough guy, and not be outwardly emotional. But this board has changed that. Whether it be be laughter, anger, joy or pain, this board has forced me to experience a gamut of emotions, and it was with some trepedition I read your posts today.

  First of all...Welcome to this discussion forum. Thank you for posts.

  I share your emotions, as to what you are going through. Family comes first in our household, and to be treated as you are, due to the rules that are enforced by a bunch of brain dead idiots in NY, many of whom should be in the hosptial on life support is very frustrating.

  I am not going to dwell on the negatives at this time though. What I do want to say is I admire the choice you have made. Remain " absolutely steadfast " in your course. Never waver in your determination. The path you have now chosen is the right one, and we support you in your quest to save your family !

  From our family to yours..... Love Dave and Denise

  xjw_b12

  " I just want to know the truth, because I've been lied to all my life "
• 

  Dansk

  Dear All,

  I'm simply overwhelmed by your kindness. Mulen, your story has been most encouraging.

  I received a telephone call this afternoon from a very lapse JW who told me that he was visited by an elder last Friday evening. The rumours/stories going around that there are shepherding calls being undertaken on those that have been away from the organisation for some time may well be true. My contact told me that the elder wants to call every Friday evening and go through the Knowledge Book with him and that he shouldn't be afraid to put any queries to him. This could be a drive to finally make further DAs and DFs.

  This contact went on to inform me that already the "reason" for my departure is being made known, i.e. that because I wasn't appointed an elder I left! This is an outrageous lie as I informed two elders on my doorstep (those who came to collect the KH keys from me) that I was unhappy with the 607BCE date and the "generation" change (there were obviously more reasons but I thought these two would be good enough to start with). It seems the elders need something that the congregation can be led to believe - until we examine the wider picture. If, for example, my reason WAS because I wasn't appointed, then how does that explain my wife's reason for leaving? Or my eldest son's who was a regular pioneer? Are they supposed to have left out of sympathy, to suffer eternal damnation because of their love for me rather than God?! Also, the COs visit was months back, not recent! Is there nothing so low that these people won't steep to! Actually, thinking of Ray Franz's experiences, NO, there isn't ANYTHING too low!

  This board is great; well done Simon! All the garbage emanating from the elders just strengthens my conviction that I did the right thing and my resolve to help others in their fight to get away from this cult. The Scriptures at Matt 7:22-23 immediately come to mind, wherein it says: "Many will say to me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name?' And yet then I will confess to them: I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness."

  I well remember the times I used to apply that to the people of 'Christendom' whereas, in reality, I should have been applying it to the WTS!

  Going back to the contact mentioned above, he lamented over the 'phone that he had wasted his life; that he should have got his family out in 1975. He's 60 years old now and says that talking to someone with similar thoughts has greatly encouraged him.

  It is appalling how so many lives have been lost and wasted due to abiding by the organisation's dogma and I count myself blessed that the rest of my family has escaped. My contact has had nothing but family problems ever since 1975 but he is afraid - SO AFRAID - of being DA'd or DF'd because he loves his grandchildren, all but one of which has been born to JW daughters and he wants to be able to see them regularly. Such emotional blackmail should be complete anathema to true Christians.

  It would seem, at last, I have found true friends here.

  Thanks again everyone!
• 

  WildTurkey

  ( This was posted by LyinEyes,,,,,,,,WildTurkey's wife,,,,,,, sorry,,,,makes more sense if I tell ya that before you read it.......lol)

  This is a sad situation with your daughters , but I am glad you have your freedom from the WT.

  When my husband first starting doing research on the internet , he was an elder, I just thought he was always curious so do big deal. Plus we always watched rated R movies and did things alot our way behind closed doors. But on the outside we were the faithful JW family, and we really did try to do the right thing, but we always never could quiet get that happiness that other JW's claimed.

  When he got serious one day and told me what he was feeling, and how he was literally sickened, I flew off the handle,,,,,,, accusing him of brining demons in our home, being mislead, risking our children's lives etc. etc. This went on for a week or so and it was one of the first times in our 16 years of marriage that we didnt have the same beliefs. I was scared and felt I had lost my husband.

  He stayed on the computer , from sunup to sundown when he could. I just huffed off.

  I was so miserable being a witness, depressed , in physical pain, never feeling things were right, but hanging on for dear life, trying to always repent for everything I thought I was doing wrong but wanting to be so perfect.

  One day , I gave it some thought about what my husband told me......some of the things he said, and I realized how crazy some of this early Jw history really sounded.

  My husband has always been my rock and he loved his family more than anything. I realized he must truly believe what he is learning and that he would not be one to easily fall to just hear say,,,,he had books , the bible, all over the place checking and re checking everything he was looking up. So I knew he had come to the conclusions not just because of what he had read on the internet , but by his own study , by looking up the other things in our bible that were wrong and translated wrong.

  This didnt happen over night for him, it all started back when they changed the generations.

  Once I realized I had trusted this man with so much in my life, why not give it a chance and see what he is learning about.

  It was history after that....... it didnt take me long to totally agree, and we tried the fade thing,,,,, by going out of town for his work,,,,,,, he stepped down, but we later disassociated ourselves.

  We are happier now than ever.

  I have faith that your daughters, when the shock wears off, will realize that you , as a Dad have always been reasonable and dependable. They will think that if Dad believes this and mom , brothers, there must be something . Maybe they will listen ,,,,,,,,and once they do,,,,,,,, hopefully they will join you.

  Keep us updated on this,and I wish your dear family the best..........Dede
• 

  LyinEyes

  That above post was obviously not WildTurkey,,,,,,,,,lol, I always forget to see if he is logged in, usually it is me ,,,,,,LyinEyes/Dede..........
• 

  Dansk

  Dear Dave & Denise and all,

  It has been so uplifting to receive your kind postings. My wife read a few and cried. Denise, you sound as soppy as us

  Out of all this, the two boys are doing the best. Next month is my oldest boy's birthday and, as we can find nothing in Scripture that opposes such a celebration, we are going ahead. This will help us put the past behind, to break with the dogma of the WTS. It'll probably be strange, I know, but we just don't care.

  When I think of all the happier times we might have had - but one shouldn't dwell on the past, we are now moving forward; truly forward!

  I'll have to get my wife to post something soon but, for now, she's just too emotional. She's a great gal and I love her to bits. To see what this wretched organisation has done makes me speechless - but at least it hasn't affected my writing!!!

  Please keep your comments coming. I show them to my beloved and I know she appreciates them greatly. We cannot touch through the screen, but your feelings certainly emanate.

  With sincere gratitude.
• 

  nilfun

  Dansk,

  Thank you so much for sharing your story here.

  It touched me deeply.

  How painful it must be to feel that all the years of upbringing
  in a loving home have evaporated. One of the horrifying things
  about JWs is the conditioning done by the society with the intent
  of creating followers with the ability to be able
  to close their hearts on a moments notice against those who
  have "turned their backs on Jehovah".

  I had a catch in my throat as I read how you told your daughter that you loved her and she said she knew...

  I believe one of the bravest things a person can ever do for them self
  is to stop living a lie. You, your wife, and your sons have done that.

  I applaud your bravery.

  In time, I hope that your other children will also recognize the bravery
  that you have shown by leaving the lies of the JWs behind you, and that
  their eyes will someday open to the fact that although you've left the JWs,
  it doesn't change the love you feel for your family...
• 

  Satanus

  My sympathies to you because of the losses you suffered. One thing you have kept intact though, is integrity. Here is the definition of integrity:

  1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
  2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
  3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

  From http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=integrity I like the third defintion.

  Most xjw's have not been able to take the initiative to free themselves from wt bondage as you did. Congratulations.

  SS
• 

  wannaexit
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  apocalypse

  My wife just finished reading your post to me as I sat.

  That's an amazing thing, in and of itself you see, as I was in the position of knowing the "truth" about the "troof" for several choking years. I could not tell my wife, as she was completely loyal to the org. I had to go about my organizational responsibilities, talks,shepherding calls etc, and act like I was the goodie JW. All the while I was reading every "apostate" book and website available.

  I should get an Oscar. Which actor ever carried on a real life acting part for years, breakfast to bedtime snack.

  If I would have told her straight out, then my marriage would have been destroyed. And we have kids. I had a long road to slowly help her to reach her own conclusions, -in that, the mighty org was indeed a controlling cult.

  So, now we can read, and feel bad over your post together. Ah. But we are still stuck. Both our parents are "in the troof" and one set especially would present dire consequences if we up and quit.

  We would be feeling the pain that you feel right now. So we hang here like a piece of beef in a meat locker, waiting for the knife.

  What to do? There's no easy answer, but at least you can come here and write, and get some kind of therapy.

  The "mighty org", yes, it must be destroyed. The truth will do that.

  As far as your daughter is concerned, remember these words "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
• 

  VeniceIT

  Dansk & fam,

  I was glad I was able to meet you earlier sorry I had to dash off and make dinner. Your story is so touching and certainly sounds familier. My older sister turned us into the CO and set my friend up. I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through and I can truly sympathize with your sons and the loss of their sisters. It is heart wrenching and does get better with time, but that's anything you want to hear about now. I pray things will work out for you and your daughters will see the 'light', living with her sis and bro in law could be a lot rougher then she thinks too I know what bil's are like!!!

  all the best

  Ven and fam