CANTLEAVE- Welcome to the board friend ! Good to have you. Look forward to your takes and observations. I can tell you are a deep thinker who looks between the lines and discerns injustices and has a good heart to fix those injustices.
I was born-in as a witness got out at age 44 finally almost 6 years ago. The injustices that bothered you also are the same things that influenced me to quit and get away from the unloving judgmental hypocrites who were running the show. When the elders in my congregation told me to accept back an non-witness wife who had left me due to being a dangerous drug abuser it was the last straw. The elders told me to visit my teenage witness daughters in a park or neutral location if it made my drug abusing wife uncomfortable by them visiting me at our home. THAT"S when I said " I'm out of here. " The elders were giving personal opinions as counsel and I told myself that there was no way holy spirit appointed these freaks.
So hang in there with your situation. Lots of caring people here . If you ever want or need to talk , feel free we are here for you. Take care, I'll PM you my number. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper