Hi I hope i am welcome

by cantleave 188 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave

    Hi guys and gals,

    I am a hypocryte. Brought up in the "truth" but know its not. But I can't leave the congregation.

    If I leave I will lose all association with my family and friends. Even if I drift away I would gradually become an outcast, I couldn't cope with that. So maybe I am weak or just too frightened of what happens if I do leave.

    I love my wife but she is completely devout as are her family. My mother and brother are very zealous too. I have lifelong friends who I would do anything for, who are part of the fabric that makes me what I am. If they knew what I really felt, they would shun me, not because they are bad but because they "believe all things" as long as it comes from the Governing Body or its representatives on Earth.

    My kids are being brought up as witnesses and I do a family study with them. But I encourage them to check everything out in a truly Academic way. I tell them that is what the Boreans did and so should they. I have also stressed that all Humans are imperfect and noone has the right to tell you what is right or wrong unless that can prove it from the bible. I don't want my kids to smoke, take drugs or be dishonest, so I am happy to instill some the principles taught by the org. But I also want them to do the things that will make them feel satisfied with life and don't want to feel that they will be destroyed if they don't conform to the decrees of a man made organisation.

    I have served as service overseer, pioneered and done everything you expect a model christain to do. It was seeing how elders really treated the flock, with total contempt, that made me question everything. I was castigated for trying to encourage "weak" ones in a non-judgemental way. I was considered soft because I really did do all I could to prevent my brothers being DF'd. I have seen grown men cry and then be cast out because others couldn't detect "true repentance". I have seen a Presiding Overseer (sorry Coordinator of Elders) run a congregation in a truly despotic way and the CO turn a blind eye to it. I have no respect for many of the Elders as they do not deserve any. There are others who are genuinely delightful people who do have the best interest of the congregation members at heart, but they are not heard amonst the voices of those who want to make a name for themselves.

    It is essential that I remain anonymous, but I feel alone and need to speak to people who can relate to my experience, please don't judge me for being a hypocryte - welcome me into this community and I will respond with witty postings and any insights that I feel will be of interest. This had better be fun because if the org are right I only have a short period of time!!!!!!

  • Deputy Dog
    Deputy Dog

    I'm not a JW, but I'll be glad to pray for you and your family and that God may lead them out of the org someday.

  • Diva

    Of course you are welcome. Lots of people here in a similar situation to you.

    Your not being a hypocrite, you've just been backed in to a corner, not of your own making.

    Hope you find some comfort here.

  • asilentone

    I hear you! You are not alone! We are happy to have you on this board!

  • chickpea

    welcome aboard, cantleave

    you will find a lot of stories here
    that have similar content, altho
    each is uniquely painful to those
    whose lives are being so negatively
    impacted by the JW organization

    i am sure you will fine support
    and empathy on these boards...



  • awildflower

    Welcome to the board. The 'elders' are exactly the reason I left. And not because I had a dealing with them personally but I've seen how they speak one thing and do another. No love, no compassion, hypocritical, I could go on and on. But glad you are here, the boards have been really helpful to me.......awildflower

  • Ultimate Reality
    Ultimate Reality

    Welcome, and thank you for sharing!

  • mouthy

    please don't judge me for being a hypocryte -

    Nothing is hypocrytc About wanting to keep your kids.
    That in MY Humble opinion is self sacrficing as long as

    you keep telling the kids if it is not in scripture it is not O.K.
    I think it is sad for the kids,because they will be deprived of Birthdays,
    Christmas, Sports at school, lots of fun OUT SIDE of the web.
    But your their Daddy,,,And as long as you continue to pray to the CREATOR
    Who told us to listen to HIS SON> Jesus & He told us all to PRACTICE LOVE
    Good to have you here.


  • shamus100

    You are very very welcome here!

    I urge caution when sharing too many personal details - it's easy to get outted here, because it is so popular. Using common-sense you will have no problem.

  • reniaa

    imperfection of men is adifficult issue, you have to ask yourself if it is that or the doctrine that stumbles you.

    Romans 7:15-25 (New International Version)

    15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. [a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

    21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
    So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.


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