so i started the jeep in the darage (page 9)

JWdaughter

Oompa, you have encouraged, entertained me and scared me a few times. You have been here for awhile. I do care about you. I want you to help yourself, because no one here can do it for you-no matter how much we care about you. Even your wife can't fix it.

Examine the root of your depression and get help to deal with it. I don't know if it is strictly JW related or marriage, or job--or all of it. Only you can change any of it. We can't encourage you out of any of it really, just encourage you to take some positive action to help yourself.

Is going back to the meetings going to fix anything? Talking to wife, elders, parents? Dropping it all and taking a(n alcohol free) road trip going to give you some needed perspective? I could use some of that. Sometimes I wish I could drown it all in SOMEthing-but I don't much like booze, don't do drugs and I'm not so good at sex. I'm not even good at vices:)

Its the new year, you could use that for starters. I hope you do, and that next year you will be like some of the other posters who have gone through the fire (like you are now) come through it and inspire the rest of us. There is a song I like-based on a saying I heard Churchill said: "If you're going through hell, keep going"

Rodney Atkins sings it--one of my faves:

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Says I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows your there

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If your scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows your there

Yeah, If your going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
Yeah, you might get out
Before the devil even knows your there.

dinah

Amen, Mr. Flipper, amen.

eclipse

If I had felt, in any way shape or form, that oompa's cry for help was a burden on me emotionally, or that he was being abusive in any way, I would of ignored his post.

I would not of put him down, or been biligerent or callous, but that is just me.

Since I respect the man, and have read his posts and know that he is normally bright, and has many good qualities, it was no skin off my back to be there for him when he was at a very low point.

There are those of us who do hit those low points, and some turn to alcohol and some turn to self-harm, and some turn to drugs.

At least they are not the personality that turns on another person and harms them. And I have had the unfortunate experience to run into that type of person.

I have hit low points and shared my feelings on here, was I being a drama queen?

I wasn't trying to be, I was merely reaching out to my friends for help.

There are some hard-hearted people on here, who never have a kind word to say to others in need. You all know who I am refering to.

I have privately shared with a couple of people what I currently face.

Trust me, helping someone in oopma's position is small-stuff in comparison and takes so little effort.

It's like...hey, there is someone with a problem, and I wish I could show them that they have a way out, that they have a choice, that they have more control over their life than they give themselves credit for.

it's called perspective and that was all I was trying to share with oompa.

The last thing he needs is ridicule and unkindness for that does nothing to help him or motivate him to see things differently.

If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all, especially if it doesn't concern you or your life.

We left that behind - ridicule and non-support from our supposedly ''loving brotherhood''.

It's a damn shame that that type of ''love'' (HATE) is still prevelant amongst some of us ex-jw's.

I am glad that they are the few and the majority of us have hearts and are able to sincerely care about one another.

dinah

Great thoughts, Eclipse. You are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.

BizzyBee

I have bigger problems than you could even dream up, but you hear nothing from me about them.

Likewise. Which is one reason I do not suffer fools gladly - they are tiresome and boorish.

Two thoughts on this thread:

1. For an alcoholic, drinking is the coping method of choice no matter what the circumstances - lost job, divorce, hangnail, stubbed toe, burnt toast, etc. Unfortunately, someone self-abusing who doesn't really want to make the effort to seek help can delude themselves that they've reached out for help by posting on-line. The only people more tiresome are their counterparts - bleeding heart 'helpers,' whose 'help' usually consists of a few keystrokes - and (((((( ))))))). Sorry, but sympathy isn't the same as help. Someone genuinely threatening suicide needs real help in the real world.

2. There is a fine line between a genuine call for help and a serial manipulator.

dinah

Bizzybee,

That was a heartless post.

BizzyBee

Which part do you take exception to, dinah?

dinah

I guess the part about not suffering fools. Just because someone is lost does not make them a fool. I was VERY lost at one point. I made friends online who pointed me in the right direction. Of course, it did take work on my part.

I'm just putting myself in oompa's place (again, been there) Just saying some people wallow for a while. I grew up around a bunch of drunks. They are all dead now. They had hearts as big as the great outdoors. Everyone took advantage of them. They were good people, just seem to have given up. That is the sad part.

eclipse

(removed)

Abandoned

1. For an alcoholic, drinking is the coping method of choice no matter what the circumstances - lost job, divorce, hangnail, stubbed toe, burnt toast, etc. Unfortunately, someone self-abusing who doesn't really want to make the effort to seek help can delude themselves that they've reached out for help by posting on-line. The only people more tiresome are their counterparts - bleeding heart 'helpers,' whose 'help' usually consists of a few keystrokes - and (((((( ))))))). Sorry, but sympathy isn't the same as help. Someone genuinely threatening suicide needs real help in the real world.
2. There is a fine line between a genuine call for help and a serial manipulator.

Well, I for one don't just consider Ooompa an alcoholic that needs to get his act together. He's a friend. He's offered humor and levity to a lot of people at this board and is going through a tough time. Is he blameless? No. Is he fishing for attention or sympathy? Possibly. But why does that make him a bad person? Why does feeling lonely and reaching out for help make him just a self-abusing manipulator? I haven't lost any money to him. I haven't felt that I've been played in the least. People who call out for help need it. Maybe he's not to the point of suicide. Should we tell him to go blow off until he actually has the gun in his hand or the pills on the table in front of him? He needs help. It isn't easy getting it. Especially when you are in a situation where your family is ZERO support. That's the kind of thing most of us can understand.

I've kept quiet over the posts from Outlaw and Odrade because I respect all the people here and I understand that we are going to have differences of opinion, but I'm going to say something to all three of you. I hope you don't take it personal or consider me your enemy afterward but if so, so be it. People don't always know how to call out for the help they need. Somebody may be constantly getting in trouble or sleeping with a lot of partners to mask a hidden lack of self-esteem that's the real problem that needs addressing. Why is it so wrong to recognize that whether Ooompa is really suicidal or not, that he does need encouragment to find the help he truly needs? Why is it so wrong to be kind to someone who is living every moment in their own hell? I've heard it said that we should ignore them because the want attention. Does that truly make sense? Does it truly make sense to have someone let us know that they need attention, help, something and for us to ignore them because of the fact that they are asking?

What's so wrong with giving attention to those who want it anyway? Maybe he doesn't get it in his house with his jw wife. Maybe he doesn't get it because his brain tells him that he's not worth as much as the rest of us. Maybe he just needs it because he knows that he needs to fix things in his life but he's still scared. Why is reaching out to people who are asking for help, attention so wrong? We aren't encouraging him to not take care of himself. We are validating that he has value regardless and then, on top of that, giving him suggestions to talk to someone who can help more than we can. I truly can't see why that could be considered a bad thing.

so i started the jeep in the darage

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