so i started the jeep in the darage

by oompa 192 Replies latest members private

• 

  Locutus of Borg

  I had to get myself up out of that bottle first though

  Dude, did you have anyone who was there for you to help you through this? Or did you do it all by yourself??

  Just wondering
• 

  KenseiShimonzu

  By myself...I had no one at that time..i had just left the hall,and me and my only friend weren't talking anymore at the time..so it was just me...my mom,no one in my family knew what to say to me,so rather than say the wrong thing,they chose to ignore it,and "let me deal with it",which may seem cold,but i'm glad that they did it that way,it made me stronger and more resilient...It made me come to the realization that NO ONE was coming to save me..the only person that could rescue me was me..and in order to do that..i would need to have a clear mind,and sharp senses,then i would need to get mentally stronger,so i excercised my mind with research,and investigation....as Outlaw said.."by the boot straps" .-KenShi
• 

  Locutus of Borg

  By myself...I had no one at that time

  Then you are a strong individual, god bless you.

  Just do not expect others to have the strength that you had, to do it with no help from others. I did it *mostly* by myself. My wonderful wife never judged me or chided me when I was self medicating for those several years . . . she was the ONLY anchor I had. If it weren't for that anchor I would have drifted away, never to find shore again.

  So, it is not always just YOU. People are different. You cannot expect that everyone will deal with such things the same way you did.
• 

  KW13

  The hard part about being that down Oompa is you cant see there are ups coming, but they are and will. Nothing lasts forever, you will be better soon.
• 

  BizzyBee

  First of all, if you are not alcoholic, you do not have a clue what an alcoholic goes through on his or her path of recovery. It would be like me saying that I know everything about being pregnant because I read about it, and know others who were. I would sound like a damned jackass. Take note, Outlaw and BizzyBee.

  14 consecutive years, 4,000+ meetings. You know the ones.
• 

  hillary_step

  I am puzzled as to why some people think that this Board is a substitute, or even an appendage to professional help. It is not and it is unfair on its posters to expect it to be so.

  Ooompa has some friends on this Board, whatever that means. I hope that they prevail upon him to seek help in the right quarters, Alchoholics Anonymous for example, because there is nothing we can say that will make any difference. Any person who has been, or dealt with alcoholics knows this. And yes, self pity and self-absortion are classic symptoms of alcoholism.

  As to Outlaw. Well I know the man and he is anything but heartless, and is a strong and wise person but of course it is also a common problem with this discussion Board that the flavor of the moment is those who happen to take our own position on a matter.

  HS
• 

  JK666

  (removed)
• 

  Gregor

  An accepted principle of child psychology is to recognize that they want to be given direction, boundaries and discipline. When they act out and are not given firm guidelines of behavior they become more and more unhappy. They don't know what to do except spiral out of control. If the parent simply wrings their hands and caters to the child the situation gets worse.

  I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we need to be talked to by a "dutch uncle". I am amazed at some of the responses to the firm, unsympathetic counsel offered here by Odrade, BB and even Outlaw. They have as much place to say what they said as anyone else. I think there is a good chance that Oompa might get as much benefit from their comments as he gets from those who kiss kiss "poor baby" him. He might even say "Thanks, I needed that" .

  I think there are a couple of posters here who are owed an apology for some of the over the top, hateful comments they have received because they approached Oompa's situation differently.
• 

  Odrade

  For those who are on the ((((( ))))) bandwagon, that's all very well and good, but how well has it worked over the last 5+ months that he has been posting about running away for "days or weeks" and drinking until he passes out, or staying drunk for multiple days, or hitting the bottle first thing in the morning, or, or, or... And the excuse "I just quit all of my meds two days ago" is bullshit. Yeah it was stupid, definitely it can cause a person to act irrationally, but I've been watching this particular poster pull this particular stunt (albeit not as effectively or spectacularly as the latest one,) for months now. I suspect (from things he himself has written here,) that he has been doing it in real life for a lot longer.
  
  Mollycoddling never works. Being straight with an alcoholic or an abuser occasionally does. Fortunately for everyone of us here on this discussion board, it is once removed. Think of what his poor wife (of 10 years,) is going through having to live with this behavior, in her house. She has to live with the daily distress of an out of control, falling-down drunk in her home, and the daily worry that she will come home and discover a dead body. And you bleeding hearts want everyone to sit around saying ((((( ))))) and "i'm sure you're doing the best you can, we love you!"
  
  I call bull. He isn't the only one.
  
  And before someone else accuses me of having a JW attitude, I'd like to preempt that by saying that accusing another poster of acting like a JW when they, ON A DISCUSSION BOARD, make an observation about another poster's CONTINUING abusive and destructive behavior, is ridiculous. If the person needs help, he should look for it in real life, not yank everyone's chain over and over and over and over and over...
  
  Meh, it makes no difference to me. Some people are just determined to stand at the bottom of a well of self-destruction. And LOTS of people are just as determined to jump down into the well with 'em and give hugs. It's so much better than lowering a ladder and telling them it's their responsibility to climb out.
• 

  onacruse

  hs, I agree with everything you posted.

  Having had difficulties with alcohol all my adult life, I can add my personal experience that all the private counseling in the world (whether it be with a therapist, via a discussion board, or over the phone, etc.), however well-intentioned, is not, repeat, NOT, the way that the vast majority of alcoholics achieve and maintain sobriety. I first comprehended sobriety via AA, in spite of my severe reluctance to attend a "worldly" group like that. And it was at that very first meeting (even though I'd been going to an outpatient treatment program for a few days), that my eyes were opened to things I'd never imagined about my condition.

  oompa, I and others have offered our support to you, but, if you want to survive this, there is only one solution: Get your ass to an AA meeting. The first group you meet with might not be the best "fit" (I went to about 6 before I found one where I was comfortable) but it will be the start you absolutely need to make.

  With respect, and with empathetic understanding,

  Craig