Are some of us still judgmental and think ourselves morally superior? (page 6)

changeling

There is a saying (from Africa, I think) that says: "It takes a village to raise a child". I view JWD as our village. Mincan was acting like an unrully , irresponsible child. More than that, his attitude towards alchohol, women and sex, if unchecked, could cause him and others great harm. It is our duty to give him, or anyone else, a word of caution, when needed.

If what he did was indeed true ( I have my doubts), and it was a one time thing, than let him learn from it and not do it again. If he has a real problem, let him seek help. But he won't learn that his behavior was inapropriate if no one tells him.

No one here is going to shun him or hold anything against him. We will move on and hope he matures into a responsible, caring young man.

I myself, like to keep things "loosy goosy" most of the time, but when someone is in danger, I can't pretend it's ok. No judgments, just a little help when warranted...

Stay cool,

changeling

quietlyleaving

NVR

Is a certain "uptightness" creeping into our community?
Should we be scolding one another?
Especially kids?
Didn't we all do crazy stuff when we were young?
It's kinda bringing me down.

just wanna add my 2 cents worth

Don't let it bring you down -

cos it seems to me that all the posters here have been commenting on different aspects of Mincam's antics at the assembly and there were so many lol.

So I'm seeing everyone's comment as valid including your own.

Your question, in my judgement , (are some of us still judgmental and think ourselves morally superior?) is very black or white and doesn't allow for the many different shades)

fifi40

Nvr

Surely we all judge whether we agree or disagree with a persons actions. If we choose to comment we are making a judgement. As for people thinking they are morally superior it appeared to me that all the comments made were made out of genuine concern for Mican. Most know and understand to some degree where he is coming from.........so whilst he has not committed any major crimes and it would appear does 'not have a bunch of bodies in his trunk'.........they are entitled to be concerned that is his behaviour may be damaging to himself and others.

It seems very obvious from one or two of his comments that he is at a very low point in his life and his actions appear to support that.........so is it wrong to to show concern whilst not approving of his antics.........telling him he is cool just doesnt seem to be of any benefit to him.

it would seem his is a lost little soul.......treading the difficult path of changing from a child into a man........fighting to be free of a religion his family is involved in.......and aware that he is causing pain to those he cares for.

So Mican whilst not all of us may agree with your actions we do recognise the pain your in and will be here for you if you need help or just some kind of sounding board..........but dont expect that all we hero worship acts of selfharm and foolishness.

Chill little brother

Fi

LongHairGal

jgnat:

You are absolutely right about how the truly judgmental won't recognize themselves and somebody who is morally sensitive will think they are being offensive. Isn't that the way it usually is? Although, I think we all tend to be judgmental to some degree.

I remember years ago when there were the WT articles about gossip. There was one particular bro. in my cong. who was notorious for this very thing. But you should have seen him raising his hand and commenting. So, there you go.

LHG

John Doe

I have a disliking for people who will remain quiet regarding any actions and take no stand. We all have judgment calls, and we should be straight with other people. If I've got a problem with you, I'm damned sure gonna tell you about it, and I expect the same from you.

Ironically, the people being denounced here for using what I consider to be good judgments are being judged by those claiming to be non judgmental! Er, something like that. . .

Twitch

Ironically, the people being denounced here for using what I consider to be good judgments are being judged the those claiming to be non judgmental! Er, something like that. . .

Funny dat, eh?

"I judge you as judgemental in judging me"

"I have an open mind but you do not"

lol

PS Do you think some morals are better to have than others?

flipper

Nvr- Mr. Flipper here.Boy howdy! Lots of views, huh? Well, I certainly have no reason to feel morally superior. God knows I did enough harm and made mistakes when I was young! But as one gets older I've seen the need to put a few more deeds on the credit side of the ledger, helping people when we can, by either our own dumb experiences of the past ,or trying to steer them from repeating maybe hurtful things we ourselves experienced, to ourselves or others. I see a lot of people offering good advice on this thread out of concern for mincan. I think that's the majority view. I tend to agree with Mary and others who say that alcohol abuse can be an evidence of deep pain within an individual, does'nt justify the behavior mind you, however it can lead all of us on this site to encourage the young man to deal with his stress in a more profitable way. The first time I got drunk I made a burden of myself. My closest grandmother had died, I was 21, didn't want to go over to my grandparents house and see my mom crying her eyes out, so I dealt with my pain by sitting drinking a pint of Kentucky Whiskey slowly, listening to depressing Simon & Garfunkel songs, trying to piece things together. Finally felt guilty not being with my then wife and parents, so completely S$It faced , ( pre DUI era 1980) drove about 10 miles to their house, stopping along the way to throw up on a side street. ( You can tell I had never been drunk before). When I got to my grandparents house I was in tears, nose bleeding from the force of barfing, told my parents, wife, and sister I was so embarrased, but couldn't deal with seeing mom sad over this.Then my older sister took me to wash off and everybody was understanding about it, under the circumstances. So in a nutshell my take on Mincan is ,hey, he made a mistake, encourage him, pm him if we have to, to help him see we care. It is what real love is about, it was shown to me once, I learned a lot from it. Peace out, nvr. You have our love bro. Mr. Flipper

PrimateDave

Hi Nvr,

Good topic. Lot's of good comments, too. I especially appreciated Mary's, Smiles', Fifi's, and Mr. Flipper's comments. Well, you can put me down in the "made bad choices when young" category as well. For that reason, I cannot judge young Mincan, but I do feel concern for him, and hope that he can realize his self worth.

I am concerned about those few posters who gave him a "thumbs up." I was worried about you Nvr, but you made amends. :) Did they really read his post. Sure, he used lots of irony, which under the right circumstances can be humorous. But the source of his irony was pain. Whatever you do, don't minimize his pain. Anyone who can minimize the apparent pain of another may also be adept at doing the same for themselves, and this is not healthy. I present this as a concern, not a judgment. :)

In his well articulated post I detected pain, sadness, powerlessness, and loneliness. Yes, trying to hook up with a girl at the assembly was extremely poor judgment on his part. Fortunately, no real harm was done. At his age the hormones are raging, and he compounded the problem with alcohol which can lower inhibitions. Mincan, if you are reading this, please learn from this experience. Casual sex will not relieve feelings of loneliness. Please know that many of us understand what you are going through. I wish I could give you advice about how to deal with your parents, but I'm still working things out for myself in that regard, and I'm almost 20 years older than you!

Dave (the morally inferior)

bigdreaux

f*&k 'em if they can't take a joke. let me tell all of ya something. we all did stupid stuff as kids. we all do dumb stuff as adults. unless you know this person on a personal level, you have no right to bash him. i know when i was his age, if someone told me something was inappropriate, i'd do it even more. that word, inappropriate grates at my nerves. what's appropriate? if we all did what others found appropriate, we'd all still be in a cult. let the guy be a normal 18 year old. i was drunk almost every night at his age. now, if i have 2 beers a month that's alot. it'll get old quick.

mrsjones5

I think his drinking is a bit more serious than that, have you read his latest post?

Drunk every night? Wow...

Are some of us still judgmental and think ourselves morally superior?

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