wildfire
JoinedTopics Started by wildfire
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Hi Everyone...I'm New
by exjwshell injust wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum.
i've "lurked" for quite some time, thought it was time make my first post.
my story is long and boring and too complicated to remember so the short version is this:.
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Have you ever felt used?
by Country Girl ini had my birthday party/new year's day party tonight.
i have hundreds of friends, or so i thought.
how many show up?
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A letter to MY DAUGHTER,,,,PLEASE FORGIVE ME.....
by wildfire in.
i know you come tothis site to check out things...so if this is the only way to talk toyou then i will do it and make it all public.....for all my true friends to see....i know that i didnt protect you from your step father....the blessed annointed one who made allof our lives a living hell....i was the parent,,you were the child,,,and the children are the future...(maybe home is where the heart is giving up to the one.....we spend all of our lives going out of our minds,,,looking back to our birth, those who stood up for love in spite of the hate.....) those are words of a song by live called they stood up for love....... i was in the midst of a mind--bending cult,,for so many years...and i know all of my children have suffered in one way or the other...even tho only one is still an active witness...we are all scarred and will always be...but my love for you and your brothers and sisters is the one true thing i can give you.... please dont take my grand children away from me..seeing them the other day for that brief moment gave me such happiness---i think back to the happy times when they were born and i was there for two of them....how many grand parents can say that....they will never know their grand pa ,,but dear daughter please dont take away their grand mother who loves them soooo much..... life is too short...each day is precious...please lets get back to forgiveness and some kind of sweet co --existence...my other daughter wrote a precious,,caring letter that made me cry and cry..... i would never come between you and your man....you know that...and i know he is under alot of pressure,,and i care about him very much,, he is the father of my darling grand kids..and done so much for me and my children....i know i can never repay him for all he has done...i just hope he knows that i love him too.
please my first born...know that not a day goes by that i dont think of the wonderful..strong..person you have become,,and how very proud of you i am....you have the chance to be the better mother to your 3 children...without the influence of a dangerous cult plaguing your every move..and iknow my grand children will grow strong,, happy and well adjusted because of you and their father/.... again please find it in your heart to forgive me...i need you in my life to make it complete for this journey would not be complete without you in it .......
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I got backmy sick son,,, just to lose the rest ofmy family
by wildfire ini am so upset ,,its hard to even write this out...but i know i must.....someof you know of my past...coming from a very difficult marriage with a so--called annointed one.. who made my life and the lives of my 5 children.
a living hell.....i only have one daughter in the borg...but even tho i am dis associated she still talks to me....i moved to texas to be near my daughter and my grand kids...but now i am being ostrasized for helping my schizophrenic son (24),,who couldnt make it on his own in north dakota...... and my son almost didnt make it to texas as he was thrown off the bus for smoking and abandoned... i went on a mission to find him.....by backtracking and giving out flyers of his picture with my phone ..number on it.
as it happened someone recognized him and i got him back....safe but not sound..... so now my daughters and their boyfriends have disowned me for taking him in....why i am not really sure....but with everyday mydepression gets worse....i have been hospitalized for attempted suicide many times...and theythink i am making up this shit..... just recently i was hospitalized ,,,for another suicide attempt... i think iwill make the next one stick...my brother killed himself at 38,,, no one knew the horrible secrets in his life and the family didnt want to know......now hes gone...leavingbehind 3 daughters and 2 grand daughters.. do they even know the pain and torments i have endured for soo long being in a cult...my 21 yr old daugher willlnever forgive me for what i did toher... sheis out now... but her sister is still in and i know its tearing her apart....my 24 yr old son is schizophrenic and may never be normal....but i am taking care of him as the rest ofthe family have abandoned him to my care....ha i cant even take care of me...for christs sake... for those of you i met at dallas in may,,,you know me right could i really be capable of being so selfish...so uncaring......i need your prayers and strength to get me thru this now.... there were so many things i couldnt do,, when my kids were being abused... i had to be submissive to that fucking jerk...he hurt me ,,, the borg hurt me....everyone gets hurt..... but this may be the straw that broke the camels back....words can and do hurt ,,, i can only say sorry to them so much.....but their dad willnever do that..he willnever make there hurt go away..... i just need ed to be heard as my daughters do not want me to talk to them....and it is breaking my heart in two so imust get my book done..before i am gone for good.....shalom my dear friends
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Did you read the book "1984" of Georges Orwell?
by Nicolas inthis book is one of the best book i've ever read.
it describe well the technics that the watchtower use to manipulate their jehovah's witness.
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The process of recovery
by onacruse ini checked the "best of..." forum, and didn't see this as a specific link.
there's a list of the typical psychological steps that a person usually goes through in the course of recovering from a traumatic experience: something like- shock, denial, anger, compromise, resolution.
i'd like to see that info again, because, even though i know that i've gone very far into the 'resolution' stage of my life, nevertheless, i find, at times, i revert to the 'anger' stage, and wonder to myself: "where in the heck did that come from?".
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Are there 5 XJWs in Austin, Texas?
by sixsixsixtynine inif so, let's make a meetup happen in october.
i've been following them for over a year, and they never get the 5 minimum rsvps.
c'mon, it'll be fun.
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Update on my life. Long read. Some good, some bad :-D
by Winston Smith :>D ina member on the forum asked via pm how it was going.
i ended up writing a three-page reply.
it felt good to get things off my chest, so i figured i would update the forum of where i am at in life.
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I CONFRONTED THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION TODAY
by Corvin intoday, i was on the scene of the local congregation of jw's where my ex-wife and her husband attend.
physical, emotional and mental abuse has been purpetrated upon my kids for eight years now.
they have been victims of alcoholism, verbal bashings and they have been made to watch their stepfather beat the hell out of their mother and then be halled off to jail without saying a word to anyone for fear fo reprisal from him and their mother.
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MS WILDFIRE NEEDS SOME LOVE AND CONCERN ,,,,,,,PLEASE
by wildfire ini really can understand the meaning of hate now........ i truley hate what the cult of the watchtower has done to me and my family.... my son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 20,,,,(his uncle on his dads side also had the disease around that time ))) as some of you know he ended up in jail and a prison term because of things he did while in his schizophrenic state....all the while he was disassociated from the witnesses ,,,so he received no help from the loving elder body ( of vipers)....even when he was in jail,, an elder came to study with the lost ones... and because he knew of my sons situation would not allow him to comment at the prison study.....
but he goes faithfully and sits by himself in his tattered clothes in the back....as we all know the drill....some how he gets back in.... i am devastated..as i have 3 children who never will go back because of their sadistic ,, annointed father and stepfather......who molested his own daughter.....( another horrible story)l its hard for me to write ,,, i hope you will put up with me ,, those of you who know me and even those who dont...this is my therapy... i must write it out....well as it goes he is not welcomed back.. its all for show,,,he cant stop smoking....and so he goes off his meds and is living in the streets...with no help or support from the brothers ,,,a term i use very loosely....he missed the district convention,, because no one could find him and then ......they find him to corner him like a rat (knowing fullwell of his mental condition ) and they disfellowship him......the anger and rage that i feel...is uncontrollable at times......i hate ,, i hate ,,,, i hate so much of what they did to me and sooo many other ss ......forgive me ....this freaking cult needs to be destroyed... once and for all,,, and i will not rest until i rescue my last child from its grip.......( i have one daughter whos 18 that is still in)))) i am cryingso hard now its hard to type,,thank you for hearing my story,,, its just a very small part of what me and my family have been thru ...thanks for listening and peace to you my dear friends...