The process of recovery
I checked the "Best of..." forum, and didn't see this as a specific link. So--
There's a list of the typical psychological steps that a person usually goes through in the course of recovering from a traumatic experience: something like- shock, denial, anger, compromise, resolution. (?)
I'd like to see that info again, because, even though I know that I've gone very far into the 'resolution' stage of my life, nevertheless, I find, at times, I revert to the 'anger' stage, and wonder to myself: "Where in the heck did THAT come from?"
revert to the 'anger' stage
Glad I am not the only one that revisits that stage from time to time.
The way i understand it, the first cycle of those stages doesn't go fully to the deapths. As a person goes further along the recovery road, another cycle of stages will be triggered by something. This new cycle is a little more thorough, removing more of the roots. However, some trauma detritus still remains, and as the psyche becomes more whole, more integrated, another cycle may be initiated at a later time, to remove another layer of the crud. These cycles become further apart and less disturbing as the healing process becomes more complete.
You might also find that you are not the psyche, and that experience will most likely cycle and come and go. This is not to say ignore the psyche, but seeing that there is more can be nice, a sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
It's called grief. And there are 5 stages are:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, acceptance
A friend of mine used to say ".. when one dream dies, all the other dreams resurrect themselves and come to the funeral".
Meaning: Grief can be cumulative. Even if we have already gone through the grieving process, we can still be blind-sided by it years later, on some little "root" that was left behind. I also don't think the scars ever go away. They just become more subtle, if we're lucky.
Good luck on your journey
Craig, from my own reading and years of therapy, I've heard it said that we can and do work on different levels of these stages simultaneously.............it's not a totally linear process............
".. when one dream dies, all the other dreams resurrect themselves and come to the funeral".
oooo, Brenda, I really like that!
Brenda, yes, that's it! Thanks
And as many of you have said, recovery is a dynamic process, sometimes going back and forth from one part of the stage to another. Completely obvious, really, but easily overlooked, especially when we think within ourselves that we finally have a handle on it.
Perhaps the most important personal aspect of that process is to not feel guilty about those occasional and unexpected outbursts of anger. Rather like Mark says:
a sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
In that respect, "process" might well be replaced with "progress"; identifying the goal-post is the challenge.
Ain't much accomplished if we can kick the ball 100 yards, but our shot is toward the other end of the field: "Good kick, dude, but wrong direction!" LOL
Now by saying light at the end of the tunnel I don't mean to imply it isn't already there, because as far as I'm concerned it is. I mean just because you're in a tunnel it doesn't mean there isn't light outside, although from your perspective (we can replace you with psyche here) it may be dark. Of course I'm not one that's too concerned with doing things to make an orderly psyche, the point is there is that intrinsic worth and brilliant vibrance in spite of any psychological issues you might be experiencing. Even if you are feeling like a basketcase, that is still there.
I think you only reach total acceptance when you die. People are constantly in a state of recovery from something in their lives. As soon as you recover from one thing another pops up...some small things...some large...life tends to be funny like that. In my opinion anyway.
A simple question we could ask is what is recovered, or how is it recovered? Yes the process is one thing, but is there really anything lost that needs to be recovered? If there is the experience of having lost it, (which I would presume to be something like your self, a state of ease of some kind) then how did you get it back? Since we do tend to go back and forth we can just look at those times when there is a temporary 'lost and found' experience. When it is recovered, is it really that it was lost, or just obscured by conditioned beliefs and the like? If that is the case though, doesn't it mean it was never lost, just kind of covered up?