That last part "acceptance" I'm not so sure how that helps anything. I mean are we accepting the trauma and becoming one with the pain etc? I don't think acceptance of evil done to us is good at all. Maybe acceptance of ourselves or recovered selves after the scars no longer phantom the original pain, maybe accepting our frailty as a human being...I can see that. But acceptance of the perpatrators? No I don't think so.
The process of recovery
my DEAR FRIEND CRAIG,,, I USE LYRICS FROM SONGS,,,,, ANNE LENNOX...SAYS IT FOR ME......BEAR with me as Ihave been going thru some severe times.. this kind of trouble has just begun......tell me WHY,,,,,,WHY.... I MAY BE MAD , I MAY BE UNKIND ,, BUT I CAN STILL READ WHAT YOURE THINKING....WHY CANT YOU SEE THIS BOAT IS SINKING, THIS BOAT IS SINKING ( wt) LETS GO DOWN TO THE WATERS EDGE AND CAST AWAY THOSE DOUBTS,,, SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID BUT THEY STILL TURN ME INSIDE OUT......INSIDE OUT,,,,,,,,,TELL ME WHY......THESE ARE THE DREAMS I DREAM INSTEAD , THIS IS THE FEAR THE CONTENTS OFMY HEAD ,, THE YEARS I HAVE SPENT... DO YOUKNOW WHAT I FEEL,,,,DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL.........I DONT THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL ....TELL ME WHY...........( I really think many of us having gone thru the stages in our departure from a vicious cult....can say these words and know why we say them.... many will never understand our Pain,,, our Dissolution... and Our ANGER.... ITS THERE AND WE KNOW WHY.....THE ebb and flow of life is and always will be the great mystery...but so many of us can pinpoint why ,,,,so i thought the words of ANNES SONG WAS OHHH SOOO GOOD...SHALOM MY DEAR FRIENDS ,,, AS WE ALL FIGHT FOR OUR SANITY,,,IN AN INSANE WORLD......
I was also told by my grief counsellor that those 5 stages are fluid -- they don't have specific beginnings or ends. So you can fluctuate back and forth within a couple before you're done with them.
This is why, 3 years after my parents have died, that occasionally the oddest things will trigger me and I'll flip into a stage I thought was done.
This kind of information is really useful!!!