Topics Started by zanex
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29
first time post
by zanex inwow...i am floored...it has been damn good to read some of the posts..i never thought there were so many people with the same prob's.
been df'd for a few years and still have an elder dad and a very devout mom who constantly make me feel like i am a "stain" if not for my "worldly" wife i dont think i wud be here to make this post...
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28
January 27th 2008
by zanex instarted out like any other normal day..with plans to go to taos with my girlfriend and a good buddy o mine (wlg) sorry mang...had to give u some recognition on this one...anyhow..we went out to a nice place for some breakfast..wandered around taos, went to the taos pueblos to get a chance to watch the native americans dance at the taos pueblo...then we went out to the taos gorge..which for those who dont know is a quite big hole in the ground bout a mile down...the bridge is somewhat a daunting look down for ones who have never seen it before.... anyhow...my girlfriend at first refused to step one foot out onto the bridge but with a little coaxing and a promise to make sure she wouldnt fall off i gradually brought her out to the middle of the bridge where there is a small outcropping where one can stand and look out over the gorge...we stood there staring over the side of the bridge for a few minutes then i slowly took her hand in mine and looked deep into her eyes.... ....and i dropped to one knee....(quite funny too cuz initially she was like what are you doing?
)....i still had her hand in mine and she was staring down at me like i was doing something silly or humorous like is my usual personality trait...i stared at her for a minute or two and said a few sentances of which are too personal to bring up here and then i asked her to marry me..... she looked at me and said "what?!
are you kidding me?!
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28
they wont leave me alone!
by zanex ini have a problem..i have been df'd for like 6 or 7 years i lose count but point is my parents are still stuck in the alternate dimension called jw and they seem to think that there is still a "chance" for me.
lol..funny shit i think but anyway, the town i live in just happens to house some of my friggin elder pop's elder friends...like i thought when i got df'd that meant they would leave me alone but now that i have a wife and kid that arent jw related at all my parents seem to think that my wife will "convert" i trust my wife better than that and i know that there is no way that she would ever do that..she is as cynical as i am..my prob is that they have infiltrated me at my work and i dont want to have to be an asshole about it but i just need them to leave me be...anybody got any ideas on things i can do shy of buying a fully automatic weapon and perching myself on my front doorstep?
anyway..i can hear the psychiatrist callin my name...lol..
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27
moral dilemna
by zanex ini have been df'd for a good long time and have gone/going through the different stages of the healing process but i dont think that i am anywhere to giving up all of my deep-seated anger and hostility that i continue to have.
i have gotten attatched to it, ironically enough.
my moral and maybe somewhat ethical delimmna is: i am in a service provider position and i provide translation services for members of a specific community of interest...problem is that a certain person has come into my focus of the world...an elder.......a great many bones in my body want to manipulate and maneuver his life into the palm of my hand....then crush him.
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22
birthday...
by zanex inits my birthday friday!
i have a bunch of "worldly" friends that i really care about and they are all planning on taking me out but i hesitate...i just only recently within the last 2 years started taking active interest in my birthday so i only have a minimal idea of what to feel...i know i will go out and get trashed and plastered but i want to know what it feels like...i dont know if this post makes any sense haha i think i'm gonna just drink myself into a nice stupor and pass out somewhere hahaha...any tips or advice from anybody here?
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15
30...who woulda thunk it
by zanex inwell i did it...i actually made it to age 30. today, april 12th 1975 i was born and i am still trying to full comprehed the feeling that comes along with it.
my office threw me a party and i am having another one on fri, more the drunken type of gathering.
it is a good week but a part of me will never fully be able to comprehend the simple feeling of "birthday" lol..anyhow..i'm still alive!
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14
Hypothetical situation...
by zanex insuppose for one minute that a disfellowshipped son that has been df'd for over 10 years and gone through al of the stages of emotional and mental departure that one goes through when leaving the agency..erg...society.
now that df'd son's father is an elder and his mother is the standard female figure within a jw marriage and neither one of them had any meaningful contact with their son for a long long time.
now this son has already given up on them long ago but now there have been some indications that things are changing...the father stepped down as an elder...the son heard that there were "spiritual issues" with them...and all of a sudden there have been emails from the parents as if they still consider themselves parents...eventhough the son has already more than moved on.
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14
certifiable...it was bound to happen
by zanex inwell its official now i guess...i went to see the doc the other day cuz of all the mental crap that has been wreaking havoc on my mind lately and wreaking havoc on my sleeping and eating patterns.
namely i havent been sleeping or eating much if any.
i was given, much to my humor, xanax...sigh.
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13
divorce....
by zanex inwell, it finally happened...me and my wife decided to go our separate ways.
i left on sunday.
it just wasnt a healthy relationship.