by zanex 28 Replies latest jw friends
I would choose being bugged by my family about reinstatement over being shunned by my family. Be careful what you ask for. You might get it.
You took the words right out of my mouth COMF!
Zanex...I would give almost anything to have my parents bugging me. At least I'd know they care. My parents haven't initiated contact with me in almost six years. Be thankful that your parents are buggin' you. It could be the opposite.
Andi
Stop being so nice to them. They're being assholes to you so why shouldn't you be an asshole to them?
As far as not being angry at the rank and file, why not? Yes they are being controlled by the higher ups but no one can control anyone else unless they let them. Do you know who was at fault when I was an ass to really nice people when I was a JW? I was. No one else. Sure, I may have followed someone else's reasoning and done what I was told but it was ME who did it.
I do agree with what Xena said, every time they try to go into one of their introductions talk about how great the world is and how the government is doing such a great job. I know for one I wouldn't want to be alive at any other time in history.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.
They're being assholes to you so why shouldn't you be an asshole to them?
Why stoop to their level? If they treat us badly, it's their reponsibility. It doesn't mean we have to do it back. Why let their bad actions be the excuse for us to be a**holes too? All it does is re-inforce their self-righteous attitude.
Andi
Zanex,
Like others have alluded to, maybe your parents bugging you and your wife could be an opening to invite them over for a visit. When they start with the WT bullshit, just change the subject. Do that every time they talk to you guys. Listen to their drivel for a while to keep them coming, then steer the conversation to something different. That way, maybe they'll get the idea that you'll never come back to the WT, and leave you alone, or better yet, they'll start associating with you more with less WT B.S.
As for the those harassing at work, file a complaint and shitcan the rags they leave in the office.
TR
I'm gonna make mince meat outta that Osama!
Andi,
I couldn't agree with you more! A few annoying conversations are worth it for my family to not have to shun me. I know what it is like to feel obligated to shun someone. I don't want to put my family in that position unnecessarily.
Englishman:
Your wife's response was beautiful! I am going to remember that one!
Zanex,
I guess I'd probably try to use that as an opportunity to educate them. You are DF'd so you have nothing to lose. However, if you do that with your family, that might push them away.
About the work situation, I like the advice of the stickers, but I think it would be a good thing too if you brought up the UN thing to the girls in the office. Ask them what they think of the UN/WTBTS scandal. Ask them if the know what an NGO is and if they say 'no', tell them they should because the WTBTS was affiliated with it for 10 yrs. They won't want to talk to you after you tell them a thing or two. They'll surely keep their distance!
You don't have to be rude with them - a few questions here and there should quiet whoever it is you want distance from.
Zanex,
Many posters have made good points. Decide what you want, then pick an appropriate strategy. Here is what worked for me.
My brother-in-law was an inactive JW for 18 years. Then, he got active again and is totally overboard zealous. Every topic is somehow turned into a "witness" when he is part of the conversation. Typically, such "witnessing" goes on for about 3-4 hours or until someone rudely tells him to shut up.
When I get tired of his ravings, I just politely disagree and have very good counterarguments. For example, if he takes about the last days, I tell him about how our standard of living is higher, how our lifespans are longer, etc. and back these up with hard facts. Soon he is floundering as the WTS never talks about how we now have unemployment insurance so we don't starve between jobs, how infants rarely die now, how the lifespan is now 80 years instead of 40, etc.
I explain how Bible prophecy told people in the 14th century that they were definitely in the last days. I explain that we don't have pestilence anymore. Entire villages used to be wiped out by pestilence, but that does not happen anymore.
If I am in a especially nasty mood, I will point out how the WTS is the worst guide to follow about the end times. I will quote Russell and tell my BIL how Russell knew the end was coming then, by 1914. I will quote Rutherford about how the 1925 date was God's date not man's.
Once, I start doing this, my BIL suddenly has to leave. We have never discussed it more than five minutes once I start at him. At that point, I am the one wanting the discussion to continue!
I have used this method on several JWs, with similar results.
Most JWs only know what the WT tells them. When exposed to alternative arguments, they tend to flounder.
Richard
Tell them to leave you alone or you'll get a restraining order claiming religious persecution...
...how a jw can be friends with you for 30yrs come to the hall and an annoucement is made and they can turn off thier feelings right then and there as it were- what type of mind control can cause a person who had been told that a friend of 30yrs is now DFed NOT EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENEDYOU WOULd AT LEAST think the person would call the person and say:
"John-- what is going on- i heard you are now DFed - John what happened man?"
instead the avg jw would never call this person since they have been indoctrinated to ACCEPT THAT whatever he did the elders tried to help him and he refused-
in my view the avg jw never even gives consideration to the fact that the elders could have been wrong/handled the case wrong/ been unqualified even by WT own standards. etc
they merely are taught week in and week out to accept whatever they are told-
Hi JT,
Your days away from the 5 weekly "beatings" are apparently dulling your recollection---a blessing, btw, I hope to enjoy myself one day
Never, ever minimize the incessant "counsel" that to question in any way the decision of the elders is tantamount to disloyalty to God himself. If only I had a dollar for every time I've read that "the elders have information that you don't have" or, a particular favorite, "...wait on Jehovah to correct matters." No matter how strong one's suspicions of incompetence and/or corruption on the part of the elders, how is even the courageous, independent-minded dub to counter that kind of ham-handed abuse without risking his own standing in the congregation?
A friend recently told me that, after hearing that a young woman with whom she'd studied and to whom she'd become a "spiritual mother" had been df'd, she went to her home to see about her and ask the very question you raised, "...what happened???" She'd barely gotten in her front door from the visit before two sky-blue polyester suit sportin', hi-water pants/clip-on tie wearing, "pleather" book-bag carrying "shepherds" appeared at her door to give her her one and only warning that if there was a repeat offense, she'd be dealt with judicially.
Sure, she was furious, but what's a dub to do, especially one of the contemptible "weaker vessel" persuasion?
-AMNESIAN
