Studying with JWs - Confused, Conflicted ... (page 9)

RebelliousSpirit

There is one thing I really want you to think about, why did your husband leave the org in the first place? Why does HE feel he needs to be closer to Jehovah this way? Is he going because of family ties or that he belives this is the "truth"? I think these are questions you as a married couple should be talking openly about! Your concerns are there for a reason, you need to figure out why you are doing this, are you doing this for your husband or are you scared of the choice not to be a wittness. Are you scared of being outcast or the family treating you diffrent? This is something you need to be honest with yourself about.

Ok let me answer your questions...

Why did my husband DA? According to him because he was young (19), rebellious, and couldn't deal with being under his parents' thumb any longer. He has an admitted problem with authority. lol! He has never liked being told what to do, how to do it, when and where to do it, etc. That was particularly strong in him as a young man. So ... he DA'd.

He was reinstated because he honestly believes this is the truth. Nothing to do with family ties or old friends - it's been too long for that to be the case. He has a new life, hundreds of miles from home, new family, new friends, etc.

We have openly discussed all of this for years. And we delved into it thoroughly before he wrote his letter asking for reinstatement.

As for me ... I am not at all scared of the choice not to be a JW. I know I wouldn't be an outcast or treated differently by his family. His parents have loved me unconditionally for 7 years, and I was the furthest from a JW. There is a dear family friend who is an Elder, his wife is not a JW, and everyone loves her and has for 30 years. So that doesn't worry me.

Why am I doing this? To better my relationship with God, which has always been very important to me. To have spiritual unity in my family, which is something I've always wanted. I want to do the "right thing" for me and my family. Problem is, I don't know for sure what is "right" these days.

Again ::sigh::

xjw_b12

Rebellious Spirit You're not counting time for this are you?

I find it very puzzling, with all the evidence available to you, on this board and others as well as the information and arguments presented to you on this thread, you continue to defend JWism. I am suspicious of you.

I have only one other thing to say. How are you going to answer this question?

"Mommy. Why don't we celebrate Christmas any more. Don't you love Jesus? And why don't you celebrate my birthday anymore? Don't you love me?

Edited to add. You state you are not a baptized JW. You are however, have become and are a JW Apolagist

RebelliousSpirit

If you and your hubby both know the blood doctrine is a joke, and that's so central to being a Witness, why are you still interested in becoming one?

I don't know that it's a joke, per se. I don't know for sure if they do or do not have the truth of the matter. I am just terrified of it's prospects - of the thought of having to make a decision that could cost one of my children their life. At this point that has been one of my bigger "stumbling blocks" - the blood issue. And I don't know if it is my own weakness and/or loyalty to God that I'd be fighting against, or a bullsh!t doctrine that God doesn't truly expect of us. And because I can't prove the truth of it one way or another without God himself coming down to tell me - my instinct is to discount that doctrine.

I think to myself .. if I did become a JW, I would pray that the matter never came up. And if it did come up, I would have to risk being DF'd for my decision. A good reason never to be baptized, I imagine.

SixofNine

: It's really sad.

Yeah, it is. It's odd to me that it doesn't seem to summon up any passion for you. So what if in this particular case, the odds were 99 to one that he would die, blood or no. What if they'd been 95%? Then what? How about 75%?

And make no mistake, it is not a difficult thing to simply die. I have a friend, his body was just about finished fighting hepatitis C, who wouldn't choose life based on my telling him about the "fractions loophole", but when told by a blood liason committee member (witnesss bigwig) about fractions, acted a bit shocked to hear of it (this is, mind you, AFTER I had talked to him about it, he simply could not hear me - Brainwashed), but sure enough, his "concience" allowed him to take fractions. Got his new liver, and has a new lease on life, praise be to Jah.

Oh the irony. For many years witnesses couldn not have organ transplants. Not because an organ comes to you soaked and saturated with another persons blood (though indeed that is how an organ comes to you), but because the mental midgets directing the WT prohibited them, calling them "cannabalism".

Make no mistake, it is not a difficult thing to simply die (especially when you believe that everyone who's really "good" on the planet, not to mention, God, is rooting for you to do just that, rather than take blood). On this forum is a lovely woman who's son, at 16, never baptised, and not even really raised as a witness, but studying, and thought his mom believed it, was ready to die from his cancer, to please his mother. But also because, in that state, staying alive is much harder than dying. Fortunately, she, at pretty much the last moment, told him she thought he should go ahead.

Nope, I don't "get" the lack of passion.

Ratboy

I see no point in attacking her motive here. Even if she were counting time, so what? This is a thoughtful discussion and she appears to be interested in opening her ideas.

Doubtfully Yours

Here I am trying desperately to leave, and there are people like you embracing it at all cost. Life's funny that way.

DY

SixofNine

:And because I can't prove the truth of it one way or another without God himself coming down to tell me - my instinct is to discount that doctrine.

Well, good instincts. But why would you say you can't prove it false? It's been proven false beyond any reasonable doubt. Hint: doubt placed into ones mind by the cult which came up with this wacked out interpretation of ancient scripture, is not reasonable unless it conforms to facts.

RebelliousSpirit

Rebellious Spirit You're not counting time for this are you?

If you didn't notice from my previous posts - I am a smoker - I can't go out in service, let alone be considered a JW, or count time, or anything of the sort. But I suppose there has to be one in every bunch, eh?

I find it very puzzling, with all the evidence available to you, on this board and others as well as the information and arguments presented to you on this thread, you continue to defend JWism. I am suspicious of you.

I can see your point. But here's the thing. I am not going to just take anyone's word for it. Not yours, not anyone else's here, and not the JW's either! I can see both sides - and both sides make good points, while to some degree both sides are biased and jaded. So I have to gather all of the information in order to make an informed decision that I can call my own. Doesn't that make sense??

I only defend the things about JWs that I see nothing wrong with. Just as I would defend all of you here by saying you all seem like good, honesthearted people who truly want to help me. My husband is not thrilled with me posting here, as you can imagine - but this is my choice, and I intend to question and question and question until I can satisfy myself into the decision that is right for me.

I have only one other thing to say. How are you going to answer this question?
"Mommy. Why don't we celebrate Christmas any more. Don't you love Jesus? And why don't you celebrate my birthday anymore? Don't you love me?

If I were to decide to be a JW and to raise my children that way - I would then profess the belief that Christmas is not Jesus' birthday and that he would not want us to celebrate it as such. I would also be accepting the belief that birthdays are not scriptural either. That would leave me to explain to my children those beliefs. And as my in-laws have pointed out many times, there are 10,000 better/other ways to show my children I love them than to celebrate them once a year, by celebrating them every single day. My children will never doubt my love for them, no matter what I choose. And as for my love of Christ, again, I wouldn't need to express that by celebrating him on one day - I would celebrate him everyday.

Honestly, I don't have a terrible problem with losing the holidays - there are far bigger things plaguing me about this than that.

xjw_b12

Rebellious Spirit. OK. That was a mild reply to an accusatory post. I respect that. Good luck in your quest.

RebelliousSpirit

Yeah, it is. It's odd to me that it doesn't seem to summon up any passion for you. So what if in this particular case, the odds were 99 to one that he would die, blood or no. What if they'd been 95%? Then what? How about 75%?

It doesn't piss me off. I have to be pissed off to have passion about something?

I have gone over the loss of hubby's cousin 1001 times in my mind. The day after he died I was hysterical standing in his mother's livingroom - I had to leave so as not to upset her. That day, I was angry that he died. Very angry, and very sad. Like his father, I immediately blamed the blood issue. I talked about this at length with my MIL. Afterwhich I decided that out of respect for this young man's choice, I had no right to be angry.

But obviously the whole thing scares the hell out of me - why do you think the blood issue plagues me with regards to my own children??? I have seen it in the works. I don't know if he would have lived or died with a transfusion - but I do know that with my own children it's a risk I am not willing to take. I wish hubby's cousin would have had a transfusion, I wish he had exhausted all of his options to live, even if they might not have worked either. But he didn't, and I respect him for that, even if I am sad that I will never, ever know "what might have been" for than awesome young man.

Studying with JWs - Confused, Conflicted ...

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