Studying with JWs - Confused, Conflicted ... (page 10)

Will Power

"Do they have such little faith in their followers, and in what they've taught them, that they have to control so much of their lives??"

That's the problem when the rules have to be memorized. They are not based on principals that apply. I find your logic in tune with learning principals before the rules - The principal makes your rule. Could that be your catholic upbringing? Not knowing where in the bible something is but knowing that the idea is. i.e. Love your neighbor - the principal taught makes shunning unthinkable. God is Love, Mercy, Forgiveness etc.

Honestly, I don't have a terrible problem with losing the holidays - there are far bigger things plaguing me about this than that.

Now, they have already blurred your principals on small things, next thing maybe passing the starving stranger on the street cause it looks like he uses the internet.

read read read, your Orwell parallel never fit better.

RebelliousSpirit

Edited to add. You state you are not a baptized JW. You are however, have become and are a JW Apolagist

I am not any kind of JW at this point. Even if I wanted to, I'm not even allowed to be an unbaptized JW!

I am still a baptized and confirmed Roman Catholic. I have been studying with the witnesses and trying to decide what to do with my spirituality - which is why I'm here!

What the heck is a JW Apolagist??

Seeking Knowledge

I wish hubby's cousin would have had a transfusion, I wish he had exhausted all of his options to live, even if they might not have worked either. But he didn't, and I respect him for that

Flash forward 10 years or so & God forbid it's your child having to make the decision. How will you feel then?? You've brought them up to believe the JW way is the only way to live (or will you?) both you and your husband are in agreement, and while you both say that you will do everything in your power to have your children live, your CHILD decides that they do not want blood. What then??

Just a thought, I think about this every day!

RebelliousSpirit

I see no point in attacking her motive here. Even if she were counting time, so what? This is a thoughtful discussion and she appears to be interested in opening her ideas.

Thanks.

I came here at the great risk of pissing my husband off - so there is a reason I am here, and that is because I am CONFUSED and TORN. I appreciate the discussion a lot, it is helpful, and I am glad there are so many people here willing to talk to me about this.

Jez

Before you do anything, read my story in freeminds.org under the womens section. It is entitled "Pretending".
You are entering the realm of a cult and all that goes along with it. Your thinking will slowly be shut down and uniformity not unity will subtly become a part of you. Before you know it, you CANNOT break free but there will be this nagging festering part of your being that soothes itself with self righteousness indignation at 'worldly' being and their goings on.
Please please please, for the sake of your children.....research this 'religion' from ALL angles, not only theirs.
Jez

RebelliousSpirit

Well, good instincts. But why would you say you can't prove it false? It's been proven false beyond any reasonable doubt. Hint: doubt placed into ones mind by the cult which came up with this wacked out interpretation of ancient scripture, is not reasonable unless it conforms to facts.

It's been proven false by saying that the Bible only refers to eating blood, you mean? I brought up that point to my MIL and my conductor. Both got around it by proving how sacred blood is to God - and brought up the fact that because a person can be fed intravenously, taking in blood that way would be considered the same. It is a far stretch, I will agree. But because it does have some semblance of logic to it, how the heck do I really know what God meant? THIS is an issue that confuses me the most.

My 6 year old cousin died from HIV that he got through a blood transfusion. If nothing else, I can see their point that transfusions can be dangerous. But I also know that life without transfusions can be dangerous as well for some people - like my mom - who has had probably 50 transfusions in the last 15 years because of chronic illness.

Do you see why I feel confused? I really don't care what the WT thinks, I care what God thinks. That's all I'm trying to figure out.

Billygoat

Rebellious,

I have read this whole thread with a lot of interest. One thing I'd like you to know: one, your spirit and unwillingness to just take an answer at face value...I LOVE IT! It is what is necessary for analyzing all sides. It is also not looked favorably upon by most JWs. It is also not practiced by most active JWs. I think your husband and his parents are probably some of those rare JWs that ARE good people that live and let live and don't judge too harshly. But the majority of their congregation and friends may not be like that when it comes down to it. In a life or death situation (like one of your children needing blood) you would be surprised at how influenced your in-laws might be by the others in the hall. So just be prepared for that.

For your sake and especially for your children's sake...I think the best advice is to be a supportive and interested wife, but don't get baptized. I realize you don't see it, but things do change after you become baptized. It's something you would have to experience to truly understand, but I'm hoping that you can see it from all of our examples. I'm really happy to know that you have such a loving home life. But studying has opened a door in your life that will be difficult to close. I would be interested to see how your husband and in-laws and others in the hall treat you should you stop your studies.

In the meantime, be well. Take care.

Andi

RebelliousSpirit

Flash forward 10 years or so & God forbid it's your child having to make the decision. How will you feel then?? You've brought them up to believe the JW way is the only way to live (or will you?) both you and your husband are in agreement, and while you both say that you will do everything in your power to have your children live, your CHILD decides that they do not want blood. What then??

I have thought of this, which scares me all the more. This issue is the main thing thus far that has kept me "on the fence", as they say. I will never be able to committ to being a JW so long as I cannot reconcile their stand on blood. I guess that's the bottom line.

SixofNine

:Afterwhich I decided that out of respect for this young man's choice, I had no right to be angry.

Guess I just don't quite understand that pov. I think your anger was appropriate, especially when directed at the decievers who obscure the facts about their doctrine to their own people.

You can borrow some of mine anytime you want ;) So long as I read this board or deal with my family, I'll have an endless well :-D

happyout

Rebellious Spirit,

Welcome to the board, and I have really enjoyed reading this thread, your responses and the responses of others.

I can only speak from personal experience. Like you, I "think too much". The reason I left was because I was not allowed to "think". When I disagreed with a teaching (the blood issue, 144,000, why certain customs were forbidden like birthdays, but not others like piñatas) I was not allowed to express that and get my questions really answered, but essentially told that I must simply follow the "faithful and discreet slave". I also didn't understand why we had to report time, why the flip flop on having householders pay for the magazines,and just a ton of other things. I didn't get disfellowshipped (mainly because I shut up quickly) but it was very clear that I was not "allowed" to believe things my own way, I had to believe their way. That drove me out, I faded away and haven't been back in over 10 years. My immediate family are staunch JW's, and initially they avoided me, but we are fine now. As long as we don't talk religion, and I allow them to make disparaging "jokes" about my being a pagan, everything is good.

There is the chance that you are lucky, and surrounded by liberal witnesses who don't try to police your every thought. Keep in mind, though, that with the change of a doctrine or CO, the atmosphere could change drastically. The society has changed direction many times in regards to non-believers and DAd and DFd ones. There was a time you were allowed to treat family members "normally", but those days are over. There could easily come a time when those who no longer study are to be treated in the same way. It would not suprise me (or countless others) in the least. And if a hard core CO comes along, he could counsel the body of elders on their "liberal" attitude, and they would follow that instruction blindly.

Good luck to you, and again, welcome.

Happyout - my name says it all

Studying with JWs - Confused, Conflicted ...

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