Ex-JW Mother attempts suicide with children and fails! My Family Tragedy (page 6)

Country_Woman

Just horrible,

But keep remembering: it ain't your fault. There's nothing you could have done to prevent this.

((((((((((you and your daughters))))))))

kat2u

I am So sorry for what you and your children are going thru.

And I am sure that your emotions are all over the place and confused.

Just know that you WILL get thru this.And pick up the pieces .

It is so unfair when persons thru no fault of their own are put thru hell.

No matter your childern need you and you will do what you have to for them.

My thoughs and feelings are with you.

Kat

Terrible. I didn't believe the thread title could be ... could be true...could have actually happened...or if it did, I thought it must be a story from the distant past.....but no...it really happened to you and your poor daughters...I couldn't believe it when I read the article. You must be in so much shock.

It is terrible and unfair.

I wish I could hug you. (((((((((UR)))))))))

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I will say extra prayers for your little one.

It is not your fault. NONE of it is your fault.

-Lisa

LittleToe

My mind is numb. I'm absolutely horrified.
I've read your posts over and over, trying to make sense of it, but it's just not sinking in.
I've finally got to the end of the thread, after about thirty minutes, and can't even imagine what kind of frame of mind you must be in.

Have you got anyone to stay with tonight?
When my head clears enough I'll pray, especially for your poor sweet child.

WildHorses

I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry and I hope your little girl makes it's through this. How is the older daughter doing?

CC Ryder

Dear Utopian,

I do not think I have read a more heart wrenching ordeal than yours. I like most everyone else here, am at a loss for words. I will pray for you and your daughters and keep you all in my thoughts. You are a brave man, I wish you the strength and continued courage for the days to come my friend.

CC

cruzanheart

I am absolutely speechless (well, almost) with horror at what that woman did to two young people who TRUSTED her. Oh, Utopian Reformist, I am so so sorry this has happened and I hope that your baby will be okay!

You have a PM.

Love,

Nina

bem

(((((UR))))) and your babies, I am so sorry, I truly feel for you and all that your family will endure. Don't waste time and energy on blame, You and your babies will need strength. And something this tragic will be hard to overcome. I hope that your family arrives soon it will be good for you to have loved ones to cry with. It may sound impossible to you now but try to get all the rest you can. Your baby will really need you when she starts recovery.

Xandria

UR,
First of all, you have my deepest condolences regarding this horrible event. I can understand how you are feeling, but I can only imagine how I would be reacting myself. Please read the following, take the time to discuss these feelings you are having with a Counselor who can help you deal with a post traumatic situation.

We live with dangers every day. As children and adolescents grow up, they continually learn about different types of dangers. We are always looking for ways to make our lives safer. However, terrible things sometimes happen within and outside the family. They can happen suddenly without warning. Children may experience different traumas over the course of childhood and adolescence.

The witnessing of violence, serious injury, can be equally traumatic as having it happen to you. In traumatic situations, we feel terror, helplessness, or horror because of the extreme seriousness of what is happening and the failure of any way to protect against or reverse the harmful outcome. These powerful, distressing emotions go along with strong, even frightening physical reactions, such as rapid heartbeat, trembling, stomach dropping, and a sense of being in a dream. Here is where the hard part comes in. It is realizing you have no control over what happened. What you have control of now, is what to do about what happened. The steps you take now are the ones that will help you and your family through this matter. It is picking up the pieces and moving forward towards healing and living a better life, in spite of what happened.

When people find themselves suddenly in danger, sometimes they are overcome with feelings of fear, helplessness, or horror. After traumatic experiences, people may have problems that they didn't have before the event. If these problems are severe and the survivor does not get help for them, they can begin to cause problems in the survivor's family.

This fact sheet explains how traumas can affect those who experience them. This fact sheet also describes family members' reactions to the traumatic event and to the trauma survivor's symptoms and behaviors.

What do trauma survivors need to know?

? Traumas happen to many competent, healthy, strong, good people. No one can completely protect him- or herself from traumatic experiences.

? Many people have long-lasting problems following exposure to trauma. Up to 8% of individuals will have PTSD at some time in their lives.

? People who react to traumas are not going crazy. They are experiencing symptoms and problems that are connected with having been in a traumatic situation.

? Having symptoms after a traumatic event is not a sign of personal weakness. Many psychologically well-adjusted and physically healthy people develop PTSD. Probably everyone would develop PTSD if they were exposed to a severe enough trauma.

? When a person understands trauma symptoms better, he or she can become less fearful of them and better able to manage them.

? By recognizing the effects of trauma and knowing more about symptoms, a person is better able to decide about getting treatment.

What are the common effects of trauma?
During a trauma, survivors often become overwhelmed with fear. Soon after the traumatic experience, they may re-experience the trauma mentally and physically. Because this can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful, survivors tend to avoid reminders of the trauma. These symptoms create a problem that is called posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a specific set of problems resulting from a traumatic experience and is recognized by medical and mental-health professionals.

Re-experiencing Symptoms:

Trauma survivors commonly re-experience their traumas. This means that the survivor experiences again the same mental, emotional, and physical experiences that occurred during or just after the trauma. These include thinking about the trauma, seeing images of the event, feeling agitated, and having physical sensations like those that occurred during the trauma. Trauma survivors find themselves feeling as if they are in danger, experiencing panic sensations, wanting to escape, getting angry, and thinking about attacking or harming someone else. Because they are anxious and physically agitated, they may have trouble sleeping and concentrating. The survivor usually can't control these symptoms or stop them from happening. Mentally re-experiencing the trauma can include:

? Upsetting memories such as images or thoughts about the trauma

? Feeling as if the trauma is happening again (flashbacks)

? Bad dreams and nightmares

? Getting upset when reminded about the trauma (by something the person sees, hears, feels, smells, or tastes)

? Anxiety or fear, feeling in danger again

? Anger or aggressive feelings and feeling the need to defend oneself

? Trouble controlling emotions because reminders lead to sudden anxiety, anger, or upset

? Trouble concentrating or thinking clearly

People also can have physical reactions to trauma reminders such as:

? Trouble falling or staying asleep

? Feeling agitated and constantly on the lookout for danger

? Getting very startled by loud noises or something or someone coming up on you from behind when you don't expect it

? Feeling shaky and sweaty

? Having your heart pound or having trouble breathing

Re-experiencing symptoms are a sign that the body and mind are actively struggling to cope with the traumatic experience. These symptoms are automatic, learned responses to trauma reminders. The trauma has become associated with many things so that when the person experiences these things, he or she is reminded of the trauma and feels that he or she is in danger again. It is also possible that re-experiencing symptoms are actually a part of the mind?s attempt to make sense of what has happened.

Avoidance Symptoms:

Because thinking about the trauma and feeling as if you are in danger is upsetting, people who have been through traumas often try to avoid reminders of the trauma. Sometimes survivors are aware that they are avoiding reminders, but other times survivors do not realize that their behavior is motivated by the need to avoid reminders of the trauma.

Ways of avoiding thoughts, feelings, and sensations associated with the trauma can include:

? Actively avoiding trauma-related thoughts and memories

? Avoiding conversations and staying away from places, activities, or people that might remind you of the trauma

? Trouble remembering important parts of what happened during the trauma

? Shutting down emotionally or feeling emotionally numb

? Trouble having loving feelings or feeling any strong emotions

? Finding that things around you seem strange or unreal

? Feeling strange

? Feeling disconnected from the world around you and things that happen to you

? Avoiding situations that might make you have a strong emotional reaction

? Feeling weird physical sensations

? Feeling physically numb

? Not feeling pain or other sensations

? Losing interest in things you used to enjoy doing

What are common secondary and associated posttraumatic symptoms?
Secondary symptoms are problems that arise because of the posttraumatic re-experiencing and avoidance symptoms. For example, because a person wants to avoid talking about a traumatic event, she might cut off from friends, which would eventually cause her to feel lonely and depressed. As time passes after a traumatic experience, more secondary symptoms may develop. Over time, secondary symptoms can become more troubling and disabling than the original re-experiencing and avoidance symptoms.

Associated symptoms don't come directly from being overwhelmed with fear; they occur because of other things that were going on at the time of the trauma. For example, a person who is psychologically traumatized in a car accident might also be physically injured and then get depressed because he can't work or leave the house.

All of these problems can be secondary or associated trauma symptoms:

Depression can develop when a person has losses connected with the trauma or when a person avoids other people and becomes isolated.

Despair and hopelessness can result when a person is afraid that he or she will never feel better again.

Survivors may lose important beliefs when a traumatic event makes them lose faith that the world is a good and safe place.

Self-blame, guilt, and shame can arise when PTSD symptoms make it hard to fulfill current responsibilities. They can also occur when people fall into the common trap of second-guessing what they did or didn't do at the time of a trauma. Many people, in trying to make sense of their experience, blame themselves. This is usually completely unwarranted and fails to hold accountable those who may have actually been responsible for the event. Self-blame causes a lot of distress and can prevent a person from reaching out for help. Sometimes society also blames the victim of a trauma. Unfortunately, this may reinforce the survivor?s hesitation to seek help.

Trauma survivors may feel detached or disconnected from others because they have difficulty feeling or expressing positive feelings. After traumas, people can become overwhelmed by their problems or become numb.

Survivors may get into arguments and fights with other people because of the angry or aggressive feelings that are common after a trauma. Also, a person's constant avoidance of social situations (such as family gatherings) may create hurt feelings or animosity in the survivor?s relationships.

Less interest or participation in things the person used to like to do may result from depression following a trauma. When a person spends less time doing fun things and being with people, he or she has fewer chances to feel good and have pleasant interactions.

Social isolation can happen because of social withdrawal and a lack of trust in others. This often leads to the loss of support, friendships, and intimacy, and it increases fears and worries.

Survivors may have problems with identity when PTSD symptoms change important aspects of a person's life such as relationships or whether the person can do his or her work well. A person may also question his or her identity because of the way he or she acted during a trauma. For instance, a person who thinks of himself as unselfish might think he acted selfishly by saving himself during a disaster. This might make him question whether he really is who he thought he was.

Feeling permanently damaged can result when trauma symptoms don't go away and a person doesn't believe they will get better.

Survivors may develop problems with self-esteem because PTSD symptoms make it hard for a person to feel good about him- or herself. Sometimes, because of how they behaved at the time of the trauma, survivors feel that they are bad, worthless, stupid, incompetent, evil, etc. When they are not, people react to duress differently. Especially when loved ones are involved!

Physical health symptoms and problems can happen because of long periods of physical agitation. Trauma survivors may also avoid medical care because it reminds them of their trauma and causes anxiety, and this may lead to poorer health.

Survivors may turn to alcohol and drug abuse when they want to avoid the bad feelings that come with PTSD symptoms. Many people use alcohol and drugs as a way to try to cope with upsetting trauma symptoms, but it actually leads to more problems.

Remember:
Although individuals with PTSD may feel overwhelmed by their symptoms, it is important for them to remember that there are other, positive aspects of their lives. There are helpful mental-health and medical resources available and survivors have their strengths, interests, commitments, relationships with others, past experiences that were not traumatic, desires, and hopes for the future and their children's future.

Treatments are available for individuals with PTSD and associated trauma-related symptoms. You have taken the first steps by asking for counseling. This will take time and patience, just know we all here are pulling and praying for you.

X.

Will Power

Dear UR

I honestly do not know what I could say that hasn't been already. This horrible tragedy is on the extreme end of disbelief.

Please take care of yourself, your kids will need you now more than ever. You are all in my prayers.

Ex-JW Mother attempts suicide with children and fails! My Family Tragedy