Ex-JW Mother attempts suicide with children and fails! My Family Tragedy

by Utopian Reformist 1242 Replies latest members private

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    I arrived at the scene shortly after 9PM. A state trooper (Alfred Ruggieri) was outside of the home, in the front, calling for backup. He had attemtped to serve Tonya with a warrant for a check she bounced to a banquet hall run by Johnson & Wales University many years ago. She had organized one of those JW social formals with catering, champagne and the works. Unfortunately, she organized a party for 350 and no one bought any tickets ($75.00 each) and no one attended, thus at the end of the night, she was forced to compose herself and pay the bill with a check and an empty account. She was still a regular pioneer at the time and we had not met yet since I was still in California as a US Marine.

    At any rate, the trooper knocked on the front door that night and Tonya partially opened and asked to see a paper copy of the warrant. The trooper explained it was NOT a search warrant, rather an arrest warrant which in RI does not require a paper copy to serve. She refused to cooperate so the trooper grabbed her arm and she began kicking and punching and screaming for help. Obviously, since the children had been living with Tonya in complete isolation for over a year without outside conntact, they saw their only point of reference in immiediate danger and responded accordingly.

    My oldest daughter obeyed her mother and ran to retrieve some magnum spray I had attached to Tonya's key ring two years ago for personal protection. The trooper was sprayed and kicked in the groin. He was pushed out of the door and was recovering and calling for back up when I arrived on the scene. He was livid and began screaming at me and getting more and more agressive. I apologized profusely and explained I was an ex-marine also and that I was sorry Tonya resisted. I explained she wasn't well and that the children were afraid and alone and that since it was an inner city area, they were always on guard for intruders. I asked for leniency, time to coax Tonya out and time to come up with an alternative plan in order to avoid escalating the situation.

    The trooper allowed me about five minutes to check all of the doors and try to gain access or convince Tonya to exit with the girls. She would not cooperate. The trooper's backup units began arriving and a total of six state police vehicles were on the scene. Providence police began arriving minutes later as well as the media. It seemed like hours. Now that more law enforcement was on hand, the lead trooper became suddenly irate and testosterone was increasing everywhere. The trooper gave me one last chance and said that if I could convince her to exit, he would not handcuff her and we could all simply accompany him in our own personal vehicle to the station to sign paperwork and resolve the issue.

    I began knocking on the side kitchen door very rapidly begging Tonya to come out and cooperate. She would not and said it "was too late" and to "go away". I began crying.

    I heard furniture tumbling and knew she was barricading herself in the house. I began screaaming and trying to force my way inside and I was not able to gain access. The officers and I made our way to the front door and after three or four stomps, the door burst open and suddenly halted and bounced back because a large wooden toy box had been placed behind the door.

    We entered and found my old seven foot bookshelf tumbled in the hallway to prevent access to the bedrooms. We started checking rooms and made it to the end of the hall and Tonya's bedroom was locked and blocked from the inside with an Image industrial size treadmill and we could not gain access. I began slamming my body against the door by jumping into it and managed to partially bend it forward and I saw the smoke, flames on our former bed, and smoke everywhere in the room. I could not get closer and a female trooper and a Providence policeman began pulling me outside and we tussled in the front yard and my clothes were ripped and I was restrained by four troopers.

    I managed to break free and ran around the house with other officers who were breaking windows with fire extinguishers and attempting to spray into the bedroom. A few minutes later, Tonya appeared in the window holding a large butcherblock knife from my old Henkel's set. SHE NEVER HELD ANY KNIFE TO ANYONE'S THROAT NOR DID SHE ATTEMPT TO ATTACK ANYONE, SHE WAS SIMPLY IN POSSESSION OF IT AND BRANDISHING IT. A few seconds later my oldest daughter also appeared in the same window and also had a smaller Henkel's knife. The my daughter faded back into the room as Tonya pulled her clothing to draw her back in, at the moment that Tonya let go and was temporarily distracted, I reached up and grabbed her knife hand, and began peeling open her fingers to remove it and then I threw it into the back yard underhand fashion.

    Almost instantly, trooper and officers reached up and grabbed Tonya by the top of her hair and literally pulled through the window (about 8 feet high) onto the ground and began handcuffing and restraining her while she was attempting to reach for a broken piece of glass, and then she was tazed. My oldest then reappeared in the window again as I kept shouting for my daughter's to come out and come to the window. I screamed at my daughter to "get rid of the knife" and she squinted her eyes due to the smoke and replied "Daddy, I can't". I reached up and removed the knife from her hand and I pulled her through the window. When she was at ground level, the troopers handcuffed her and led her away. Now, I was becoming worried and frightened for my little one.

    I jumped up, grabbed the window sill and pulled myself into the bedroom and dropped onto the floor. I could not see other than possibly three or four inches and about twelve inches in front of me and it was awful. I began crawling around and screaming for my daughter and telling her to come to my voice and crawl to me, but no response. I tried to raise myself as is the natural tendency for humans and only lasted about another two or three minutes before I was pulled out by EMT personnel.

    In the meantime, Tonya was placed in the trooper's vehicle and my oldest in a Provdence police vehicle. The entire street was like a movie scene and my baby was inside dying and/or burning to death. I was frantic, helpless, lost, upset, angry, sad, and a million other emotions all at the same time. I regained composure and made a mad dash through the front door and started combing through rooms looking for my baby and screaming her name. I was losing hope. I was passing out again and kept looking until I fell down in the hallway. I crawled into the child's bedroom and found her face down, hands covering her face, partially laying under her bed (her favorite hiding spot) and partially on the floor. I could not touch that scalding hot body. The jeans were melted to her legs and she was smoking.

    Let me tell all of you now, PRACTICE ESCAPE TECHNIQUES WITH YOUR CHILDREN IMMEDIATELY! PRACTICE FIRE DRILLS AND PRACTICE LIFE SAVING TECHNIQUES. We use to practice once in a blue moon and were never truly serious because we were a ground level ranch home with ample windows and doors. If you think you can rush into a fire and save people like the movies, YOU CAN'T. I have seen the drills a million times. I forgot to grab a sheet or blanket to fight the flames or cover myself so I could search longer for my daughter. I forgot to cover my mouth with the bottom of my shirt and make a temporary mask. I forgot to do a lot of basic things we all have seen many times. All I could sense was time was slipping, flames were increasing and outside the sounds of emergency vehicles, law enforcement, neighbors and media and I was panicking every second.

    When the baby was finally pulled with the help of some overweight slow moving firemen, she was rushed to the hospital and is currently in critical condition on life support and every medical contraption imaginable to sustain her vitals. I have literally lost about ten pounds grieving since Friday and have not stopped crying. I will never forget Tonya's smile in the rear window of the trooper's vehicle. I literally lunged at the window and screamed at her "are you satisfied now Tonya?" , "nice job Tonya" "thank you very much" and "congratulations".

    Of course I was angry and hurt. That is how it all occurred. I never responded to any media requests nor provided any statements to Providence police. I will be making a statement to the State Police later this evening at the hospital. I just hope they can save my baby.

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    As the investigation began unfolding, several horrifying facts have been uncovered.

    1. Tonya disconnected and removed all smoke detectors in the home several months ago

    2. Tonya was seen by neighbors emptying all of the fire extinguishers in the yard

    3. Tonya had removed all motion detectors and alarm keypads from all doors and windows

    4. Tonya had began a frequent routine of cutting all electrical and utility power in the home on a regular basis

    5. Tonya had stopped feeding the children regular food and began weaking their immune systems, their psyche's and causing depression by feeding them only rice for over three days

    6. Tonya began telling everyone she and the girls were not going to be "around after december".

    7. Tonya had sytematically brainwashed the children into a "stockholm" type syndrome and they had become fatalistic and depressed and suicidal

    8. Tonya refused to allow visitiors or accept any help or resources.

    The other details are more serious and quite grisly and I cannot share them or type without crying. I am sorry.

  • CaptainSchmideo
    CaptainSchmideo

    Dear Sweet Jesus!

    I pray that your little girl recovers! What an absolute hell for such a little one to go through!

  • kls
    kls

    It sounds more like you were in a war zone fighting the enemy then your own family. I am honestly at a lose for words and don't know what to say or how to help. This is so different then just reading a newspaper article ,you are telling us first hand of the events and the out come. I can't imagine what it was like to see what you saw and know your baby is fighting for her life. I am deeply and emotionally sorry and if there is anything we can do to help please let us know.

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    There are no words, UR. No words are enough. I am so, so sorry. Please talk here all you want and need to, we are listening I promise you. My heart and thoughts are with you and the girls and I hope that they will recover...

    love,

    essie

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    1. My children never attacked the officers with knives, depsite Tonya's coaxing. My youngest had passed out and was burining while my eldest wandered about in the room in a fog. Tonya stayed against the wall of the bedroom and did not move until the window was broken by us outside.

    2. Tonya NEVER held the knife against my daughter's throat to scare off rescuers, although she did pull her clothing to bring her back into the fire.

    3. The children were aged 13 and twelve, NOT 15 & 11.

  • kls
    kls

    Utopian, i am sitting here crying with you and i am sure many are . Oh god i am so sorry.

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    I spend all of my time in the PICU watching, waiting and hoping for a positive change. Saturday monring I was awaken by the nurses at 5AM and we raced to the room. I watched a team of technicans, nurses, residents and staff performing chest compressions and CPR to revive my baby. The heart and lungs ahd stopped for almost seven complete minutes due to a anema thorax issue and a torn lung and complications from lung fluid.

    Eventually, her heart responded. She was saved a second time. Now, she has four chest tubes in her left side lung and one in her right side lung. She has almost 40% third and second degree burns over her entire body. I can't recognize her face and the swelling is awful. I cry constantly and talk to her all night long, although she will be out for at least three months if she survives. She is facing a 6-9 month stay in the PICU followed by 3 months of preliminary therapy and then two years of on-site live-in therapy at a special center for children in Boston. I have always wanted to move to Boston, but not for this reason.

    We are now concerned about possible neurological damage and other issues are surfacing. Quality of life is no longer a primary concern. I will post the pictures once they are back from CVS. I will have to warn everyone that they are gruesome in nature.

  • Utopian Reformist
  • Special K
    Special K

    Utopian Reformist.

    I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to say.

    Your ex wife seems to have become schitzophrenic. Paranoid, delusional..

    Your poor kids and you too.

    Again, I am at al loss for words to console you.

    Just know that I am thinking about you and your daughters.

    What a horrible horrible experience for you.

    I did go to the site in the paper, your password worked.. then I just entered a search using your last name and it came up.

    Actually, the newspaper account isn't dreadfully off the mark.

    sincerely feeling sad for you

    Run, don't walk and find a good therapist or councillor to help you through all this because this is too much for anyone to bear alone.

    Special K

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