Public breastfeeding

by simplesally 174 Replies latest members private

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    Public Breastfeeding:
    When Legal Protection Isn't Enough
    By SHERRY F. COLB ---- Wednesday, Jul. 14, 2004

    Modern medicine has, relatively recently, acknowledged what has been obvious to many mothers throughout the ages: breastfeeding confers unique benefits upon babies.

    It provides a baby with her mother's immunity to pathogens, along with exactly the right mix of nutrients needed for her to thrive. Breastfeeding also substantially reduces the inevitable ingestion of air and consequent distress that bottle-feeding entails. And it does a lot to facilitate bonding between mother and child.

    As a result, obstetricians, pediatricians, and hospital nurses today encourage patients to breastfeed their new children. Expressions like "Breast is best," stores like the "Upper Breast Side" in Manhattan, and the proliferation of La Leche League groups reflect the zeitgeist. Perhaps most tellingly, a majority of states have passed legislation specifically protecting the right of a mother to breastfeed in public, and similar legislation exists abroad.

    Not all mothers breastfeed, of course. Some cannot do so for medical reasons, and others cannot afford to take the time away from work. Breastfeeding is fortunately not a life-or-death necessity for babies, and most of those who drink formula do just fine.

    But statistically speaking, the superiority of breast-milk for a baby's first months is undeniable. Mothers with the opportunity and desire to breastfeed have accordingly been pleased with legal developments that protect their ability to do so.

    Social Attitudes Lag Behind the Law

    Unfortunately, however, social attitudes and practices do not always keep up with the law. In the U.S. and elsewhere, women who breastfeed outside the house must be prepared to face hostility.

    In Illinois a few weeks ago, a woman who tried to breastfeed an infant at her older daughter's Girl Scouts event was reportedly asked to feed the baby in the toilet stall.

    Similarly, in Scotland, at a department store, a nursing mother was told to nurse her daughter in a disabled toilet.

    And in New York State, where a woman has an absolute legal right to breastfeed her baby any place where she is otherwise authorized to be, hostility to public nursing persists as well.

    Consider a personal example. A few weeks ago, I went to the Guggenheim museum and attempted to feed my baby in a corner of the reading room (where an official at the museum had recommended I go). The space at first seemed perfect, because it was quiet and calm, and few other people were present.

    The librarian was friendly toward me initially. But she became surly the instant she realized what my baby and I were up to. She periodically looked over and glared at me while I was nursing my infant. (Ironically, one of the photographs of a featured artist at the Guggenheim that day showed a nude woman breastfeeding a baby.).

    This experience and those of mothers around the world led me to ask the following question: why are some people so hostile to public breastfeeding?

    The answer concerns more than just breastfeeding. It is about women's bodies and the customary rules that demand shame, also known euphemistically as "modesty," from females.

    Breastfeeding and "Public Indecency"

    Women's breasts today are viewed presumptively as sexual and accordingly as dirty and taboo. Breasts cannot appear on television during the Superbowl, for example, without resulting in a firestorm of protest, an investigation, and a debate about just how offensive one might have a right to be, as a matter of free expression.

    But breastfeeding is different from Janet Jackson's infamous performance, some would maintain. Even if it is "indecent" to bear one's breast in a sexual way, it is pure and beautiful to do so to feed a hungry baby.

    Inhibiting nursing, moreover, forces mothers to choose between staying home and thus abandoning the public sphere, on the one hand, and giving up breastfeeding, on the other. That choice has far greater implications than does the decision about whether to expose one's nipples for entertainment value.

    Yet the difference between the two has a decidedly mixed pedigree - it is the distinction between the Madonna and the whore.

    The Madonna/Whore Divide

    The Madonna and the whore literally refer, respectively, to Mary, the mother of Jesus, a woman who is believed by Christians to have conceived her son without any sexual interaction, and Mary Magdalene, a fallen woman whom Jesus befriended despite her status as a sinner. Because her maternity was unsullied by sexuality, Jesus's mother can be pictured breastfeeding in churches throughout the world without a hint of impropriety. Mary is in that sense a pioneer of public breastfeeding.

    In feminist discourse, the "Madonna/whore" split describes the choice women were traditionally forced to make between being good girls - girls who are wholesome, remain virgins until marriage, and subsequently devote themselves to the private sphere - and bad girls - those who seek out sexual satisfaction and place their own fulfillment ahead of others'. The good girl was pure and innocent, while the bad girl was dirty, sinful, and sexy.

    Other than Mary, mother of Jesus, however, few women - whether "good" or "bad" - can boast a virgin birth. Breasts, therefore, are a double-edged sword. If sexuality is suspect, then breastfeeding will be as well, no matter how devoted and self-negating the woman involved.

    A Tactic for Breastfeeding Mothers: "In Your Face"

    Anyone who wants to create wide-scale acceptance of public breastfeeding will therefore have to do more than change the law - which in many places already reflects the split between "whore breasts" (topless indecency, which is impermissible in public) and "Madonna breasts" (the exposure of which is protected). To avoid the dirty looks, breastfeeding women may have to expose the people around them to breastfeeding often enough for desensitization to set in.

    The same was and continues to be true for people's exposure to gay and lesbian couples, interracial couples, and people with disabilities. The need to saturate public consciousness to eliminate a taboo is well captured in the chant, "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!" As long as nursing outside the home is a novelty, the taboos will likely remain firmly in place.

    For this reason, at least fifty nursing mothers appeared with their babies, ready to breastfeed, at the Esplanade in Singapore a few weeks ago. The women were engaged in a form of protest, reacting to an incident in which a security guard there was reported to have asked a nursing mother to leave the premises.

    As long as people see public breastfeeding as taboo or a curiosity, there will be those who either explicitly or subtly drive nursing women into the dark recesses of their lives, regardless of the law. It takes an "in your face" approach, like that adopted by the women in Singapore, to counter that pressure.

    Not that many years ago, otherwise tolerant people would say that gay couples could do what they wanted behind closed doors but that they didn't have to "flaunt" their relationships by holding hands or kissing in public. It turned out, however, that flaunting was exactly what was needed. It is hard to be shocked by something you see on a daily basis.

    Private Breastfeeding Is a Luxury

    The other side of the argument is that breastfeeding is private. If offered a choice, for example, I would prefer to use a comfortable nursing room to feed my baby than to do it in full view of strangers at a museum. Part of this preference is the reality that I can avoid perverts and misogynists best when I am alone with my child.

    As one U.K. commentator put it, however, "there are a thousand places a mother may find herself when a baby demands - absolutely demands - food, and if she feels she has to be running for the nearest cubby hole, or toilet cubicle, she may decide it is simply not worth the hassle - whether it is better for baby or not."

    Privacy is accordingly a luxury that mothers and their babies (and those who would rather not see them engaged in breastfeeding) can ill afford.

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    The Male population of JWD on finding out the SimpleSally is breast feeding in the toilet (or behind any closed door)

    "SimpleSally you get out here right now and breast feed in public and set an example of all the other mothers who would like to breast feed in public. Yes sir missy, you get right out here and show them that you won't be put behind a closed door. Why heck, you might as well take that shirt right off and make a good loud point!"

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    Sally, very interesting article! It is sad that something so natural is viewed in such a hostile way many times. I preferred nursing privately, myself, but was never faced with an opportunity where I might have to do otherwise, to be honest. A few of my friends who never tried nursing because they were talked out of it by "well-meaning" relatives, had admitted to me, after observing me nurse my daughter, that they would gladly try it for their next child. I do think exposure is they key.

    I have to share, when I was in Moldova, after worship service, in a Baptist church, I turned around to see all Mom's with babies nursing in the sanctuary! I wasn't shocked, but I did get to thinking how if this were done in America, even within my church, it probably would have been met by more than a few "stares" of disapproval!

    Nikita

  • bem
    bem

    Good article SSally, Most moms know how to be discrete when the baby is nursing.so there really can be no more exposed than you can see from gals with skimpy tops or 'kini tops on...Point taken also that there is a different kinda exposure, to bad that many decide not to breast feed based on pressure tho'

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    Most mothers are discreet and so we are not accustomed to seeing women doing something that is completely natural, and an expression of love toward their infant, so we tend to freak out whenever we do see it. I see nothing wrong with it and the only shame is that some view it as shameful . . . could it be that they putting a sexual connotation on breast feeding, and therefore make it shameful?

    If public breast feeding is wrong, then I think all public eating should also be frowned upon as well. "Excuse me sir, you mustn't stuff that hotdog into your mouth in public. Would you mind going into the men's room stall to eat that?"

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Corvin : could it be that they putting a sexual connotation on breast feeding, and therefore make it shameful?

    what other reason ? ... PFFFFFFFFFFFF ... so the baby have to wait or something because men can't face it !

    Corvin : If public breast feeding is wrong, then I think all public eating should also be frowned upon as well. "Excuse me sir, you mustn't stuff that hotdog into your mouth in public. Would you mind going into the men's room stall to eat that?"

    Yeah !

  • reboot
    reboot
    "Excuse me sir, you mustn't stuff that hotdog into your mouth in public. Would you mind going into the men's room stall to eat that?"

    Wow, is this still being debated....i'm amazed..v, interseting Sally. and Corvin-good point.I was always discreet-for my own modesty-im not an exhibitionist...but.I was asked many times to stop breast feeding and go to the ladies to feed.I used to answer that it was unhygenic to feed my baby in a toilet so i'll stay where I am........once when asked to stop in a restaurant I was asked to leave-so I did-but without paying the bill just to make a point...........they let me leave......

    I remember getting quite militant about it in the end and if i was questioned I would completely ignore them and carried on. It's always men who complain; interestingly-i never had a woman in any establishment ask me to stop feeding.I did have many encouraging smiles and comments from women and wonder when it'll be realised that its an innofensive, natural act that dosnt need to be , nor is it helpful that it's screened from society

    My children as babies were always so quiet and calm as feeding on demand made them so contented, something that establishments Should surely welcome.

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    I can't believe that people freak out over titties so much - I heard about somebody getting arrested in a park for sunbathing topless. What a disaster... Taliban...

    CZAR

  • Sirius Dogma
    Sirius Dogma

    Public breastfeeding just makes me jealous. I want some too!!! Did she bring enough to share?

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Actually JWs are in the main quite reasonable about this. I remember when we were studying with a pioneer couple my wife in the middle of the study just put our baby to the breast and carried on with the study (You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth). The witness couple were very Ok with this - good job too because it was in our home where the study was being conducted.

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