Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

by Stepford Wife 121 Replies latest jw friends

  • joe134cd

    Welcome Stepford wife. Great to have you here. Your situation is certainly not an isolated one. I have found the best way to get around the apostate label is to

    (1) Choose your moment carefully

    (2) Be creative and imaginative

    (3) Try to refrain from talking about the JWs directly but use other religions to get them thinking. Although with this 3rd point I havnt managed to awaken anyone yet. It has certainly been a good and none confrontational way of getting the point across. Here are a few examples.




    To be honest I have also found using the Mormon religion a very useful example in reasoning with the JWs. As the Mormon church is also facing much the same issues as the JWs. Here is just one of many examples


    Perhaps you could say to you husband.

    I was reading this article on the Mormon church the other day and it just struck me as what a false religion it is.

    I was reading how they have to go hide in a coffee shop on a Sunday morning to avoid been seen.

    it must be really devastating for members to find out that the religion they devoted their lives to ended up been a hoax by a con man. I guess religion is a snear and a racket.

    isnt it nice to know that despite all he human imperfections of the founders, and just how demon inspired they were and all the reversals they have made over time. That the church is now been open and transparent about its past with its members. Why do you think this would be the case.

    etc and so forth. Theses are just examples only to give you an idea.

  • freddo

    Hello Stepford wife,

    Best of luck to you. You've got loads of good advice to plough through.

    How old is your daughter?

  • Tornintwo

    Hi SW and welcome... I've faded and survived the c.o. and elders visiting me. I came off as confused and doubting, upset by things in the cong, I was careful not to sound rebellious or argumentative. 6 months after my last meeting, my husbands still in, my son left before me and my daughters left too now. It's great to know they'll go to college and live free of guilt and cult mind control. Well done for getting this far, you have to have a strong mind to think clearly amidst such indoctrination.

  • Bonsai
    Start making friends outside of the religion. You want to provide yourself a support network that will get you through any eventuality. The more meaningful relationships that you have outside tiny JWLand weakens the hold that this religious group has on you.
  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Stepford Wife;

    They will try to have conversations with you somehow. Being married to an elder makes things that much harder to fade. Faders like ourselves tend to keep an extremely low profile. Hard to reach by the elders. Wary of those rude drop-in visits and stuff like that.

    Being married to an elder, that presents a different scenario. He may invite elders over to try to talk to you.

    What others say here about anxiety and fear of crowds is the way to go. There seems to be kind of a sentiment about elders moving in on faders these days. Like a big witch hunt. The best of luck with all of this.

  • greedy banker
    greedy banker

    Hey stepford...

    My first post here....not sure of my own advice!?

    But....keep your friends close and your enemies? you know the rest......Play the game...if you have to...

    Above all.....hold your head up and look them in the eye......

    You are not alone! There are thousands behind you!

    Good luck...gb

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    hello Greedy Banker --and welcome to jwn.

    i see from your profile youre in the UK---so heres a link to lots of others of us.:


  • paladin1
    I told my field circus elder that I had health problems and will not preach and he the other elders backed off. I am into a long term successful fade and no more calls from the elders. My wife is a born in jw and still thinks the WT$ is God's organization. I hope she wakes up soon that this religion is a cult.
  • Heaven

    Welcome Stepford Wife/TD!

    This is worth repeating.... Don't meet with the elders. You owe them nothing.

    If you feel pressured into putting in a Serve-Us Report, count your posting time here on JWN.

  • FayeDunaway
    I once felt like you and so desperate. Wanted to get my kids out and my husband wanted to stay in. I felt like leaving him. I was so angry with everything I actually imagined taking the society to the supreme Court too!! Well, with a lot of patience and turmoil and uncertainty, I managed to get everyone out with me but sorely miss my birth family. Lost all witness friends but have my kids. Not a bad trade off at all!! My husband wasn't an elder and not a 100%true believer so that part was easier than your situation. I hope it works out for you! At least you have your sister and daughter!!!

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