Welcome Stepford wife. Great to have you here. Your situation is certainly not an isolated one. I have found the best way to get around the apostate label is to
(1) Choose your moment carefully
(2) Be creative and imaginative
(3) Try to refrain from talking about the JWs directly but use other religions to get them thinking. Although with this 3rd point I havnt managed to awaken anyone yet. It has certainly been a good and none confrontational way of getting the point across. Here are a few examples.
To be honest I have also found using the Mormon religion a very useful example in reasoning with the JWs. As the Mormon church is also facing much the same issues as the JWs. Here is just one of many examples
Perhaps you could say to you husband.
I was reading this article on the Mormon church the other day and it just struck me as what a false religion it is.
I was reading how they have to go hide in a coffee shop on a Sunday morning to avoid been seen.
it must be really devastating for members to find out that the religion they devoted their lives to ended up been a hoax by a con man. I guess religion is a snear and a racket.
isnt it nice to know that despite all he human imperfections of the founders, and just how demon inspired they were and all the reversals they have made over time. That the church is now been open and transparent about its past with its members. Why do you think this would be the case.
etc and so forth. Theses are just examples only to give you an idea.