Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

by Stepford Wife 121 Replies latest jw friends

  • Stepford Wife
    Stepford Wife

    Scenic wow thank you for that info! Ok now I'm going to throw one more thing out there. What if I leave my husband? What will they do then? I'm thinking about it because my husband is still forcing my daughter to go to the meetings and she doesn't want to. I won't force her anymore!

    Now if my husband was to say to them that I questioned the blood issue, would his word of mouth be enough to get me dis-fellowshipped even if I do not meet with them??????

  • Stepford Wife
    Stepford Wife

    Cadelin I can really sympathize with you! I almost started crying thinking about it because our daughter is involved and being forced to go. Shes the best daughter anyone could ask for and smart but this is not her religion and I won't force her.

    I just hope my husband does not say anything to them. It is his word against mine and I will lie to save my family!

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Hi Stepford Wife. And welcome to the forum.

    ''Do you believe that this is Jehovah's organization. Do you believe this is the Truth?''

    Be on the look out for these 2 questions. Especially when talking to 2 elders or more. Any negative response is admissible as evidence for apostasy and a precursor to a judicial committee. Kangaroo court so to speak where your fate has already been decide. Subsequent disfellowshipping.

    Just avoid talking to them at all costs.

  • konceptual99

    Welcome SW. I am on a slow fade purposely to try and avoid raising the attention of the elders as things can escalate if you are not careful.

    With this is mind if you are very careful never to express a view that the F&DS are wrong, never discuss your views with others and never go into detail then there is every chance you can stop going without attracting too much attention.

    If the elders do come and see you then keep calm and simply say something along the lines of "I am finding some things difficult and I would rather not talk about it now". If they continue digging, repeat the mantra. If they ask you either directly or indirectly the F&DS loyalty question just deflect it with something like "why are you asking me that? I simply am finding things difficult at the moment and, rather than respecting what I have said about not wanting to discuss it, you are pushing me with such a question. I find that really upsetting." I am sure they will back right down.

    Don't forget as well that the elders treatment of you will be affected by and have an effect on your husband. Any aggressive or harsh actions could backfire on the elders and they should show some caution and respect for the headship arrangement. As far as the WTS is concerned your husband is your spiritual head and you can use that to shackle the scope of any interest from the elders, e.g. "sorry brother but this is something that I think I should only discuss with my husband".

    Nothing wrong with using theocratic warfare against them...

  • Finkelstein

    The WTS is a an organization of structured power and control all pretentiously self promoted and identified as being in subjection to God through his written word and approved in guidance to him.

    Its obvious that the WTS built this acquired power through tactics of deception mixed in with a bit of ignorance but that is where its roots were established nevertheless.

    Its a game of power for men to play and absorb themselves with, what becomes relevant though is whether you as an individual want to be a standing participant within this game or not.

  • Hadriel

    @Konceptual99 makes a great point regarding discussing things with your husband. They should and most likely will respect that.

    Can be a parachute of sorts.

  • konceptual99
    You cannot be d/f for being inactive, but if you answer the "loyalty" question wrong (Do you believe this is Jehovah's organization?) then you might be in line for some kind of sanctions, although I can't imagine a single response to a single question would trigger d/f-ing. Still, maybe it's happened to someone out there.

    Answering the those questions in the negative with two elders present can lead directly to being DF'ed. The critical factor is how much the elders want to get you.

    If you are not on the radar as an apostate, a first "offender" and not causing problems then you just might get away with it.

    If you have been making noises or have rubbed any elders up the wrong way then they will use it to cook your goose. 100%.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Stepford Wife

    Might I add that the WT monitors this site. I've come to understand too that elders monitor this site also. Be extremely careful not to divulge any, ANY information which could reveal who you are.

    I know that elders in the congregations monitor this site. Do not give too much personal detail about you. Should they have a hunch, expect an elder gestapo visit with a JC as a result.

  • jhine

    Welcome Stepford Wife , l cannot offer advice but can give you my sympathy for being in such a horrible predicament .


  • Stepford Wife
    Stepford Wife

    Koncep and everyone here thank you for your help. I'm so depressed. I think about this day and night. I feel so sick thinking about it. My sister who is not a witness told me to get a lawyer and document everything. If they d/f me then I can sue them for libel and defamation in a group of people that know me. She studied law so I think she is right.

    I am thinking about this. If they even dare mention anything about d/f or anything I will sue their asses off and bring it to the Supreme Court if necessary. I'm not joking. I'm at that point. I will raise hell.

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