Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

by Stepford Wife 121 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hadriel

    @BethSarim I can see WT monitoring it but I'm not so sure about individual bodies. My body wouldn't and didn't police in this manner.

    Not saying it couldn't happen but it is kinda foreign in general. Maybe in a fact finding JC or something but on a regular basis I'm not so sure.

  • DJS

    Stepford Wife,

    Your sister is correct; I would also suggest hiring a lawyer and understanding your rights and developing a strategy. Whatever you divulge to your husband MAY be kept between the two of you. Now. But if you leave him, based on what you tell us, he is l likely to spill his guts to the BOE about what you have said about the Dark Lords just to hurt you back.

    You should assume that he will. Tell him nothing negative about the Dark Lords or the Dark Tower.

  • Finkelstein

    If I could offer any advise, it would be evasive when discussing JWS doctrines, elders are instinctively programmed to pull information out of people concerning that person's loyalty to the organization.

    You can and probably the best stance to take is just simply state that you don't want to talk about it.

    From what I personally leaned upon my own exit from this religion that quietly fading out it is the best route to take especially when you have family still adhered to it.

  • Crazyguy
    Many people in the past have said they have anxiety when in large crowds, you could play that card. If the bring up blood don't say anything except that it's a conscience matter. If they push then say you don't want to take cows blood that will stop them in their tracks.
  • talesin
    I have no better advice than you are already receiving, so hope this thought is comforting.

    You have made the most important step in having a real life - you know the truth. Yes, there will be hardships in fading, and maybe other problems. But it's so much better to live in reality, rather than a false paradise. You are not alone, ever again. xoxo tal
  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    welcome to jwn Stepford.

    my take on this--is to get your husband well and truly on your side. be extra wifey to him--in all ways. make him realise what he could lose.

    then ask him to handle all the elder interest in you. your reason could--quite correctly--be that something has stumbled you very badly and you need time to work it out for yourself---and that you are happy to wait on jehover to show you the way.

  • tor1500

    Hi Stepford Wife,

    I'm kind of new to the org. myself & different from others, I knew TTATT, before I came in. I was not impressed that it was supposed to be God's Organization, & since I've been there for a while, I still don't think it's God's org. Being that we read the bible from cover to cover, when God says something it comes true...we have never seen in the bible that God told something to someone & it didn't come true...not once not ever. Never a new light, or old light. What I can thank the org. for is learning what THE BIBLE REALLY SAYS..Sometimes the org. is right but most of the time, it's their own interpretation. So all that to say this....when you go in the room...Stick to your story & it is...I believe the Bible not Man...& keep repeating that at every question. I'm not suggesting you do it only if you want, just a suggestion. But it would be very difficult for them to combat that answer (or so I think). I think the best way to beat them is to use what they use...THE BIBLE....I was thinking if one day I mess up..& believe me...we all mess up...but I was thinking if I ever get called in the room...I would use the scripture they took out the Bible ...it's not in the revised NWT, it's the scripture where a crowd brings a woman who has committed adultery, & Jesus draws a line in the sand & says, if anyone here has not sinned, cross the line...& when he turned around...nobody was there. I would love to make a copy of it & leave it with the brothers. I don't know if this will work, again I'm new, but I've seen & heard a lot..I'm so happy I've found this site...it keeps me sane & a place to vent, until I can figure a way out of this madness. I'm ok and try not to spend to much time with the friends...they got issues & I don't...oh, I have a few nuts loose but I'm functional. There are so many smart folks on this site...it boggles the mind but they make you feel that it's not you & that your faith is not weak...One can believe in God without being in the org. The org. is a place to socialize, if you choose. I wish you & your family all the best. You say your husband is an Elder, you have to understand some people have no identity or power outside the org. so being an elder in God's org., is all they have, otherwise they would just be a regular person & many people are not satisfied just being part of a crowd. Being a JW makes folks feel important, because they feel they carry Jehovah's name, they find it a priviledge. Not that God himself gave them the privy, but man did, & many feel chosen, yet they judge the Jewish folks because they say, they are the chosen...I could go on but I think you see my point. I believe in God, not so much in what man says about God, but what he is in the Bible. Well, that's my 2 cents...in their words...Stand firm.


  • WingCommander

    Let the other assholes on the Body of Elders remove him once, that should REALLY show him how they "love" him!!!!! Hahahahaha!! It will also free up his time to actually be a HUSBAND and FATHER!! He might actually enjoy the free time, that is, if he isn't a power hungry phony two-faced narcissist who gets off on the power trip like so many others do.

    Imagine, they are threatening to "delete" him as an Elder, from a VOLUNTARY position that pays ZERO, all because you don't kiss their asses and fall in line! How ludicrous and controlling. F' those clowns.

    Good for you on doing the fade, and having your daughter join you! If your husband doesn't like it, too bad! It's a free country, and you have the RIGHT to worship how you see fit. If he doesn't like it, let him file for divorce. Either way, YOU WIN!!! Congrats on your right to freedom of choice, religion, and THOUGHT.

  • Khaleesi
    Don't meet with them, just tell them right now is not a good time & when it is YOU will let them know, say you are having anxiety problems being among big crowds & at this time you need your privacy & appreciate their concern..... DO NOT MEET WITH THEM....they are trying to fill you out no matter what!!!
  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Hello, Stepford Wife - Folks have left a TON of good advice and suggestions on here for you, everyone wants to help because they really know what you're facing.

    What I have seen many people do, is say they have allergies to perfumes and cannot be in a closed area with people wearing scented products like hair spray and cologne.

    Or they say they have an allergy to the building itself! The carpet and paint etc, all the out-gassing making them sick. As soon as they walk in they get dizzy and nauseated.

    Or, they develop agoraphobia, and they are too scared to leave the house, so they just join the meeting over the phone. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a good one too.

    So they tell everyone how much they miss going to meetings but they just have too many serious problems and cannot go into the KH.

    Any excuses like that will make it easy for your husband to keep his status and avoid trouble.

    Best wishes to you and your family!


Share this