Hey SW (great name). Welcome. The following are my random thoughts, probably can barely be called "advise". Whatever you decide to do, I understand how hard it is and the struggle.
Hey ya'll! I have been lurking for years on this site and others but
never had the courage to post anything. Actually I was afraid of posting
on an apostate site in the event I was wrong. But now I am convinced
that I made the right choice to mentally leave the witnesses. The next
step is to physically leave. Gonna be hard since my husband is very
active as an elder and everytime I hint about something he asks me if I
am reading apostate sites. For example I have been researching about the
stance against using blood. I don't think I need to get into details
why the JW org has got it all wrong but I secretly tore up my no blood
card. When I told my husband that I would take blood he started to cry
and tell me that I was one step away from being an apostate and that it
would be his duty to report me if I mention this again. Ok so there we
Yikes. This sounds familiar. My wife said the same thing, and cried. She is now out. Don't give up, but maybe ease back being overly honest for a bit. His duty to report you.......ugh. Its really a horrible betrayal...but he cant see it.
Now, I'm not going down that road. My whole family are
witnesses. It is all I know so getting dis-fellowshipped is not an
option. So I am going to do the fade. I have not attended a meeting in
about 3 months. No service time, nothing. I still have my close friends
in the hall and we do things together and they don't seem to mind that I
am inactive. My husband comes home the other day and says the brothers
want to meet with me and that it is a shepherding call to motivate me to
get back in. He said he has tried his best to encourage me and now the
elders would like to visit me. And I am a little bit nervous. I never
had the brothers talk to me about anything.
Ok. So i am with you 100%. Don't allow them to disfellowship you. You can refuse their visit, and that is what i would do (am currently doing). Nothing they can do. I am always super nice anmd let them know I know they "are there for me if i need them". Keep in mind.....this WILL get your husband removed. He might be dealing with that right now as well. Just to fully understand his situation too.
What can they do to
me if I have not committed any sins? What will they say?
You don't have to sin to be disfellowshipped. If you tell them things that throw up the red flag, they can take action. Officially someone only need not believe the full body of christian beliefs, and you can be DF'd. I mean think about it this way......if they decide to do it.....what could you possibly do about it? This is why its good to not meet with them, considering your plan.
told me recently she also does not want to go and I told her we can stay
home together. Is being inactive something they can shun me for? My
husband said they will remove him as an elder if I do not begin to go to
meetings. Is that true?
You have your daughter!! Its more than most get. Embrace it, speak to one another and that way maybe you can keep from blurting out what you really think and feel. Is being inactive something they can shun you for? Look....if you aren't DF'd you will still be shunned by some. I have lost friends of 20 years, and others don't blink and have been good friends. Its really up to the person. So I would say try to spend time with those closest to you only. The surface and ancillary friends.....probably aren't your friends. Your husband will be removed.
Here is where others may disagree with me. What is your marriage to your husband like? You been married a long time? Do you really love each other? Do you communicate well? You may have an opening to have a somewhat honest conversation with him. Better to ask questions that lead, rather than just unload what you believe. But......don't rush that. Just look for an opportunity. For different people, its different things.
Anyone have gone through this already? Thanks in advance ~TD
Yes maam! Going through it with some family members right now......I lost a lot of people in my life in 2015. The religion doesn't let you leave with dignity....so you have the TAKE and HOLD your dignity. Its worth it. :)