Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.
DJS, medical personnel taking the blood issue to court in the case of emergency regarding a child is too much of a risk. The op's husband taking such a thing to court in the event he discovers a change in said child's medical record is a losing proposition for him.
What, if anything he considers a shot over the bow is his concern and not the op's. He needs to live by Watch Tower rules if he wants to be a jw. He is his wife's spiritual head, not the elders. He can impart their words of wisdom to her if he so desires.
In any case, the op is a grown woman living in a free country. She has the power to make decisions for herself and her daughter. Her husband is also free to get the courts involved, but to what end....to show the authorities that he wants to force his daughter to abstain from blood and attend religious meetings?
His priorities are in the wrong place if he is only worried about holding onto his position. The op's priorities are to keep her daughter and herself safe from disastrous emotional and medical decisions.
I know a lot of docs; few if any of them will get involved in such a situation between married parents fighting over a child's medical directives. What you have suggested is determined by lawyers who fight back and forth as to who gets to be the primary parent and/or in charge of medical decisions, typically during divorces. Based on what I've read, Mr. WILL fight it. An end run is bad form, and it is likely that the medical profession will ignore such an end run until the lawyers fight it out.
That's why I stated that, if this is her decision, an attorney specializing in these matters should be her first stop.
Making ultimatums almost always backfires (google it). That's why you have suggested. Is it really worth fighting over a few meetings to make a quid pro quo/ultimatum? If their daughter hates the meetings as much as she says, this will take care of itself. Given her age, that too will take care of this situation in a short period of time. Making it a reason to fight, in this instance and IMHO, is ill advised. Using up that much political capital in this matter is not wise, IMHO.
There are bigger issues to fight over.
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Excellent - do you think she could get my kids to keep their bedrooms tidy?
McCart, I don't seem to have any problem casting a spell over my husband, it's when he casts one over me that I run into a bit of trouble.
you still believe this is ..
Well I did until i saw the ARC and how the GB member Jackson lied...
until I saw that the wts was part of the UN that it despises
until I saw children being baptised when a few years ago this was a non-no
until I saw hm cases of child abuse there are including over 1000 admitted , confessed to in Australia that the bros there never reported.
For the elders to dump your husband as an elder because you have a change of heart is blackmail.
Please seek counselling by a counsellor experienced in cults. (Perhaps ask your doctor for a referral advice)
Mc cart....is your husband an elder?
There's been quite a bit of good advice given here on your situation. A couple of things that bear repeating: You are not obligated to meet with the elders. They would be out of line and going ahead of the Christian arrangement. Your husband is your spiritual head, not them. If he can't handle it as a loving husband and shepherd, he shouldn't be serving. Unless you're making waves in the congregation by spouting off your doubts and trying to influence others, it's his responsibility. All the elders need to know is that he's working patiently with your problem. He can honestly say that. He can tell them that it's brought you to some sort of depression and that its quite awkward for you to be at meetings and to go in field service for the time being. He can honestly tell them that meeting with a couple of elders will only make the matter worse for now. Which brings up the issue of whether he really wants to help or if he's more concerned about his position or how it looks to others. So in your private conversations, calmly plead that you have a conscience, and right now it's conflicted. Don't put him on the defensive or show anger. Don't rant negatively about the Org. The blood issue is an easy target, but not to an indoctrinated JW. Common sense isn't part of the equasion so don't rely on it.
Continue to be a good wife and mother. Go out your way (but not too obvious) he might just respond well.
This may work for a while, but be aware that the next time the CO comes around, he's going to want an update. The Branch is getting more and more concerned about doubters, so they may step around the headship thing. So work on the husband and wife relationship in a positive way. He needs to understand that it's your conscience not a community one. Because Jehovah and Jesus can only be served by a sincere heart..which wouldn't be the result of a conflicted conscience. John 4 is useful. The father must be worshipped with spirit and truth. No half hearted compromise will do. Your husband should agree with that. One would hope anyway. The best to you.