Is he interested?
Please re read your last post. He turns up the charm when he is afraid to lose you. He has a good heart and is super affectionate etc. Then you say your needs are not being met and that you doubt you could count on him in a crisis.
He is a manipulator and not someone that can be trusted. Trust your gut and choose wisely.
By the way, if you want to learn about life in the cult you can hear my story on the podcast called This JW Life or at thisjwlife.com. I give a look inside the inner workings of the cult, including not just how things work but why they are that way alongside my life before being a jw, after my parents became JWs, and my path out of it.
I've had over 17,000 downloads and have been told by outsiders that it really helped them make sense of their JW family or former friends. People have used it to get their partners to understand what it was like coming from that world. It's free, I just want to help others avoid mistake that cost me three decades of my life. Of course, I was just a child, but my parents made a huge mistake.
" Is he interested " ? Yes, he's " interested " in using you. Just like the JW organization he is affiliated with is interested in " using " people . JW members are just like the leaders of the WT Society. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree due to their indoctrination. He is trying to manipulate your life to conform to what HE wants so he won't lose his own JW relatives if he marries you. JW's powers and their elders do not look upon any marriage with favor if they marry someone who is not inside the cult. So if you do not want to be looked upon by his family as a " scorned woman " or as someone who is not accepted - I would run like hell from this predicament you find yourself in.
And no, it's not offensive to call Jehovah's Witnesses a cult. It IS a dangerous mind control cult and I highly suggest you do not join as they will totally take your free will away and steal your mind. If you join you'll be expected to think, feel, say, and live for the WT Society 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Follow Pink Floyd's advice in this you tube I post and : RUN LIKE HELL away from this mess. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Ask him what would happen if his mother or any other Jehovah‘s witness found out that you two have been sleeping together .
Ask him how you are supposed to trust someone who is able to break the laws of the God he claims to worship?
Ask him why he is able to recommend that you become part of a religion that he claims to regard highly while regularly disregarding its basic moral tennants .
We had a long discussion last night and he told me that if I became a JW he would be more open to the possibility of having a future with me, but at the same time he told me that he does not want me to become a JW just to get closer to him. He again suggested I meet with his mom and another sister from the church to discuss the contents of the booklet he gave me.
Okay, I am not a psychologist, but that's some kind of reverse psychology or passive aggressiveness or something like that. "Don't become a JW for me, but if you do become one it would be wonderful for you and me."
He wants you to meet with his mother because that's what JW's do- introduce the woman to a JW woman to study the JW books with them and start them to becoming a JW. It's his mother because he is disfellowshipped and doesn't want someone else telling you to avoid him- a bad JW.
(I am not judging. Most people on this forum are 'bad JW's.' I am really talking from the religion's point of view that he is one.)
The guy is using you for some normal life while he is kicked out. He figures he can have a normal life before he goes back. Normal would include sex and dating and all that good stuff that normal people do. If he wasn't wanting you to study the religion, it could work out that normal stuff makes him get out of that CULT (and it is a dangerous mind control cult). But HE IS WANTING YOU TO BECOME A JW, so that means he is trouble. RUN AWAY!!!!
When I have tried to end it with him in the past, I will be honest and say he does "turn up the charm." He will say that he refuses to allow us to end things and then he will be more aggressive about pursuing me (taking me to fancy dinners, texting/calling more often, pouring on the I love you's, etc.). After one disagreement about our relationship status, he asked me out twice in one week~ and paid both times.
Sure. But so what? End it. If you like the dinners and attention and whatever else, but understand that you don't get more unless you join a cult, then don't end it. I don't know what else to say about that. It won't work out no matter what. At some point, you will be encouraged to become a JW and you will be made to feel guilty about the casual premarital sex and you will get disfellowshipped if you say something down the road, or you will both confront these issues and you will get married after you become a JW and live the strict cult life.
Either that, or RUN AWAY!!! I get the feeling you won't. So say you will never be a JW, don't need to study it, enjoy the sex and attention and one day he will leave you to go back to his cult.
Here's the only compromise that works for your good- tell him why you love him and why you haven't left him, but say you will leave him so he can go back to the religion. Tell him to look you up in a few months if he ultimately decides to never go back to the Witnesses. Tell him you need to see a letter by him to the JW elders saying that he loves someone who he is having relations with and never intends to hurt her by going back. Then deliver/mail that letter for him- do not let him say he will mail it. If all that cannot happen, it never will work out.
You should definitely already know the answers to "Would he help me if I got a flat tire? If I got the flu would he volunteer to walk my dog and buy me ginger-ale?" He probably would. I would do that for a friend, but that whole JW factor comes into play if he ever decides to go back to that cult.
I don't know what kind of JW family this is but Jehovah's witnesses are not allowed to have sex outside of marriage even with themselves - it's a serious sin for them.
This is a waste of time. "Confirmation Bias." People take the advise that they want to hear and ignore what they don't like.
Welcome to the forum Sunnybear:
I haven't read through the entire thread to see if anyone had said the same.
You asked: I asked him if I was his girlfriend?
He told you "I love you. You are my best friend. But I don't think a marriage would work between us. I don't want to ruin what we have by making this a relationship."
Didn't this JW 'boyfriend' already answer your question? :if he is not interested in a future and is just having fun with me.
Talk to his mom! “ I love your son and your son and I are sexually active together. Will that preclude me from attending services or taking communion? Could I go out in service or be baptized or answer questions at church?”
See what happens next.