We had a long discussion last night and he told me that if I became a JW he would be more open to the possibility of having a future with me, but at the same time he told me that he does not want me to become a JW just to get closer to him. He again suggested I meet with his mom and another sister from the church to discuss the contents of the booklet he gave me.
Okay, I am not a psychologist, but that's some kind of reverse psychology or passive aggressiveness or something like that. "Don't become a JW for me, but if you do become one it would be wonderful for you and me."
He wants you to meet with his mother because that's what JW's do- introduce the woman to a JW woman to study the JW books with them and start them to becoming a JW. It's his mother because he is disfellowshipped and doesn't want someone else telling you to avoid him- a bad JW.
(I am not judging. Most people on this forum are 'bad JW's.' I am really talking from the religion's point of view that he is one.)
The guy is using you for some normal life while he is kicked out. He figures he can have a normal life before he goes back. Normal would include sex and dating and all that good stuff that normal people do. If he wasn't wanting you to study the religion, it could work out that normal stuff makes him get out of that CULT (and it is a dangerous mind control cult). But HE IS WANTING YOU TO BECOME A JW, so that means he is trouble. RUN AWAY!!!!
When I have tried to end it with him in the past, I will be honest and say he does "turn up the charm." He will say that he refuses to allow us to end things and then he will be more aggressive about pursuing me (taking me to fancy dinners, texting/calling more often, pouring on the I love you's, etc.). After one disagreement about our relationship status, he asked me out twice in one week~ and paid both times.
Sure. But so what? End it. If you like the dinners and attention and whatever else, but understand that you don't get more unless you join a cult, then don't end it. I don't know what else to say about that. It won't work out no matter what. At some point, you will be encouraged to become a JW and you will be made to feel guilty about the casual premarital sex and you will get disfellowshipped if you say something down the road, or you will both confront these issues and you will get married after you become a JW and live the strict cult life.
Either that, or RUN AWAY!!! I get the feeling you won't. So say you will never be a JW, don't need to study it, enjoy the sex and attention and one day he will leave you to go back to his cult.
Here's the only compromise that works for your good- tell him why you love him and why you haven't left him, but say you will leave him so he can go back to the religion. Tell him to look you up in a few months if he ultimately decides to never go back to the Witnesses. Tell him you need to see a letter by him to the JW elders saying that he loves someone who he is having relations with and never intends to hurt her by going back. Then deliver/mail that letter for him- do not let him say he will mail it. If all that cannot happen, it never will work out.
You should definitely already know the answers to "Would he help me if I got a flat tire? If I got the flu would he volunteer to walk my dog and buy me ginger-ale?" He probably would. I would do that for a friend, but that whole JW factor comes into play if he ever decides to go back to that cult.