Is he interested?

by Sunnybear 111 Replies latest social relationships

  • Saethydd

    I told him I wanted to end it and he refused. He wants to keep seeing me and spending time together. He texts me all day and we see each other once a week.

    This line is particularly troubling for me because it along with the other information tells me volumes about this man's character. In short he's selfish, he cares far more about his own feelings than yours. Additionally, he is coward that will not stand up for whatever it is truly believes in and that is why he won't openly enter a "relationship" with you right now.

    Jehovah's Witnesses aren't supposed to date people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses, but if he's with you secretly and having sex with you, then he obviously doesn't care about violating those "moral" standards privately, only publicly when he would have consequences to face. That, in and of itself, is a dangerous mentality, it's the same one used by abusive mates who like to put on a front that everything at home is perfectly alright. If a man only puts on his moral standards when other people are around, then what's going to happen when he stops putting them on for you too?

    The reason he asked you to "start meeting with his mom and another female JW to discuss the contents of the book" is because he wants them to convert you to his religion so that things will be less difficult on him, not because he cares about you. It's most definitely not because he thinks it's such great religion because if he did, not only would he be teaching you about it himself, but he also wouldn't be blatantly disregarding its rules.

    My advice to you is to leave this relationship and find someone who wants to be with you as you are without having to change something so fundamental about yourself first, and someone who can be with you honestly and openly without fearing what other people will say or do.

    It's your choice of course, that is just what I believe to be the wisest course of action, and I could be wrong about him, but I would exercise caution if I were you.

    EDIT: Additionally, another option is open to you, you could try and get him away from this religion that he clearly doesn't want to be a part of deep down, because if I had to guess most of the emotional and commitment issues he has are probably stemming from that situation continuing, in any case it would be far better for both of you than you also getting sucked into the Orwellian night mare that is the JW religion.

  • freddo
    Any advice?

    Don't put out too soon.


    This /\

  • mentalclarity

    " I don't want to ruin what we have by making this a relationship."

    That is your answer. Now, you have a couple of options. Keep on enjoying the way it is with no hope or expectation that things will change or let this relationship go. Everything else is just "fluff".

  • Vanderhoven7

    Yes he is definitely interested ...... in recreational sex.

  • DesirousOfChange

    OMG! There is so much I'd like to say, but it's already all been said in all these great replies that you've received already and I'd "bet a dollar to a donut" that you're not going to listen to any of this advice anyway. I'm sure that you won't like what you're hearing here.

    When a man gets an erection, the blood drains from his brain to his dick, thus impairing his thinking ability. Both cannot operate at the same time. (Think of Bill Clinton) I don't know how to explain it for a woman who finds herself in a situation like this.

    When this all finally crashes, come back here Dearie and the good people here will welcome you back and help pick up the pieces.

    Good luck!


  • out4good4
    Don't put out too soon.

    That horse has left the barn......

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    "I love you. You are my best friend. But I don't think a marriage would work between us. I don't want to ruin what we have by making this a relationship."

    Ruin what? His guilt free sex romp. You are the cow and he doesn't want to pay for the milk. Once you investigate JW's you will see that it is a controlling cult, not unlike Mr. Wrong. Wander off.

  • out4good4

    I can only imagine how this JW man would feel if someone was screwing his mother or sister and treating them this way.

    I'd suggest you , cut your losses and get as far away from this clown as you can. He's just using you as a c__ dumpster for his sexual needs in contravention to everything he is supposed to believe in.

  • FedUpJW

    If he is just having fun with me (place filler) I will end it.

    Any advice?

    You already given yourself the advice you need. Now listen to it!

  • Chook

    The last message by pubsinger will give you the correct answer.

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