We had a long discussion last night and he told me that if I became a JW he would be more open to the possibility of having a future with me, but at the same time he told me that he does not want me to become a JW just to get closer to him. He again suggested I meet with his mom and another sister from the church to discuss the contents of the booklet he gave me.
He has one ex-girlfriend. They dated for 5 years. As far as I know she was not a JW and he broke up with her because he "feel out of love" with her. He has never said anything bad about her but does wish that they were still friends.
When I have tried to end it with him in the past, I will be honest and say he does "turn up the charm." He will say that he refuses to allow us to end things and then he will be more aggressive about pursuing me (taking me to fancy dinners, texting/calling more often, pouring on the I love you's, etc.). After one disagreement about our relationship status, he asked me out twice in one week~ and paid both times.
It has been asked, why didn't I just end it with a guy who says things like "I refuse to allow this to end.". Some of it is because I do love him and I believe he loves me. Some of it is because I don't want trouble. Some of it is because I am genuinely afraid I won't find someone I like as much as I like him.
There are a lot of things about him I really do like. He has a good heart, he is super affectionate, he is funny, he is intelligent, and has a good job. It is difficult to find a guy like him. I dated many, many guys before I met him and he is the first guy who fit what I was looking for.
With that being said, I am not sure my needs are getting met. He seems to like me more when he is afraid of losing me. I feel like I am putting in more effort than he is. He loves spending time with me. But I have to ask if he would be there for me if I needed help. Would he help me if I got a flat tire? If I got the flu would he volunteer to walk my dog and buy me ginger-ale? Should I continue in this relationship to see if he would?
I know this is not JW specific. I really don't know what to do about this guy. I know many of you think I should drop him, but it is complicated because I really do care about him. If I were to actually decide to end things, I would have to ghost him. (And after this discussion, I have gotten very close to doing exactly that).
Also, I am curious about his beliefs. If anything, the book he gave me has prompted me to get into the word and examine what scripture actually says. He and I have had deep discussions about our beliefs and I feel like its difficult to find a guy who is willing to have those discussions. I do plan on opening up other threads to figure out how I really feel about things.