I had trouble with GENERATIONS and 1975, so I researched these for years using only WT material. Once I knew the TRUTH was not the truth, I turned to the internet and found all this wonderful information that confirmed my belief. I am OnTheWayOut because I am totally inactive but still fading. I want to try to help the wife out, or at least keep a good relationship with her, and my JW mother. I want to avoid DF or DA for their sake. I resigned as an elder in August 2006 and quit the Theocratic Ministry School, citing doubts about our teachings. I no longer have doubts- I know WTS is a mind-control cult. I met with the CO in early October 2006, he told me to decide what I want to do (practically told me to get in line with organization thinking or get out). After 12 years as an elder, he gave me 15 minutes of his time, this works great for my fade- shows me what a person's value to the WTS truly is. I stopped reporting field service, stating that the CO stumbled me. In Jan. 2007, I had a serious talk with wife about WTS being a cult, she seems to understand and will try to respect my feelings, I will respect hers. In April 2007 I told her I don't want to attend meetings, anymore. She actually took it well, hope it holds up. In summary, I went from active elder one summer, to spiritually dead (according to WTS values) the following Spring. I am bitter at the organization because it stunted my personal growth for nearly 20 years. The individuals are just captives of the false concept that they are serving God. Hate the Printing company but help the members if you can. In May of 2008, I spoke to my mother at length about my problems with WTS. She won't shun me, so basically I am done worrying about fading. I don't care about the other JW's, as long as my wife and mother can't/won't shun me. I will stay in the fader status out of kindness to my wife, but it doesn't really matter anymore.