TORN APART

by Dansk 449 Replies latest members private

teejay

Dear ((((( Dansk family )))) -- every one of you.
So sorry that your family is yet another that has been torn apart by the Watchtower Society! Hearing cutting words from your beautiful daughters after lovingly caring for them all those years must be heartrending. My heart goes out to you and Physio. I'm also glad that you found this place. I look forward to hearing your observations on topics as they come up.
When I was 5 (back in 1963) my mother started studying and got baptized. From then on, she loyally raised her children in The Truth™ and for the next 30 yrs I loyally followed her. In 1970/71 my oldest sister (who was always my favorite sibling) was made an example of and got df'd when she was but 19. For the next 20+ years, out of loyalty to Jehovah's Mouthpiece™, I faithfully shunned my sister. To my dying day, it will be my life's biggest regret.
How I treated her all those years now brings with it a shame that I'll never fully overcome. Yet, all the while I thought that what I was doing pleased the living god. I thought I'd give you a glimpse of what the df'ing / shunning process is like from the other side of the coin -- what goes through the mind of the shunner. If they were trained as I was, they are convinced that they are right in what they are doing and that you have turned your back on the living god.
Just curious: as you look back on it, if you go back in time and get a do-over, do you think you might have handled your exit a little differently? Do you think your understanding of what The Truth™ really was was more than your daughters could handle all at once?
Anyway... again, welcome to the forum. Isn't it wonderful to find a place where there are so many people willing to listen to you and cry with you? Take care and whatever happens, don't lose hope that perhaps sooner than you think your daughters will come to their senses and remember the loving care you and Physio gave them their whole life.
Peace.
Dansk

Hi Teejay
Just curious: as you look back on it, if you go back in time and get a do-over, do you think you might have handled your exit a little differently? Do you think your understanding of what The Truth™ really was was more than your daughters could handle all at once?
Good questions but, in a word, NO!
My older daughter is married to a JW and so she acknowledges his headship over mine. She is also best buddies with an elder's wife, who is her pioneer partner. My younger daughter was already good friends with another elder's wife and they were always out together - I regret their getting too friendly.
I also have two sons, one of whom is not baptised. I struck immediately I knew the org was definitely false and came out there and then! Let's face it, with most of us there's never really a good time to get out as someone invariably suffers.
My wife and two sons came out with me, so 4 out of 6 isn't bad. My older son was a regular pioneer. Thankfully, his love for me and being upset at my going out made him want to know why - so I showed him the evidence I had collected. He saw the truth about the ~~truth~~ lie faster than you could imagine, within the hour.
What I would say is what we'd probably all say. Given another crack at this and I wouldn't have brought my family in in the first place
email

Hi Dansk,
I haven't had the chance to read all 8 pages of replies and encouragement... only your main post and some of the replies... It takes A LOT of guts to do what you did and what many of us had done... which is confront the problem head on, analize it and then finally accept the real truth and the consequences for our convictions.
As many had said... I feel bad... and happy at the same time... I really hope you can find and make some friends here... some REAL friends and the support you need. Almost 2 years ago when I joinned this board I didn't knew a lot of people... and just 2 weeks ago I met A LOT of them in Dallas... and THAT's when I saw how REAL these people are... and how GENUINE they are... how a lot of us have gone through the SAME experiences so we all can instantly connect and relate to each other... The so called "apostates" "bad association" were some of the NICEST most loving, funny people I've EVER met in my life... and I have made some REAL friends for life here.
I was shunned because I said I didn't believe the Faithful and Discreete Slave was right after watching the Dateline documentary... THAT ONE comment did it all... I mean I had A LOT of doubts before and I was drifting away anyways... but... just that ONE comment was all they needed to have a "concrete" excuse to show me how "loving" they REALLY are...
Wishing you the best for you and your family,
Rick ("email")
Dansk

Hi Rick,
Your posts means a lot – they all do!!! Yes, true friends at last. Just think, millions now living ~~will never die~~ could have the same true friends.
Great to know you, Rick. My family and I appreciate your thinking of us. We hope you find the true happiness you deserve.
Dansk, Physio & Boys (there are four of us at home now, you see)
Gamaliel

Dansk and family,
Shortly after I was out, my own sister wouldn't believe me when I told her that a sister whom we knew to be a sweet loving person actually looked at me with those "hateful daggers" in her eyes and spat on the ground near me. My sister called me a liar for "making this story up." But later she got a whiff of how quickly JW "love" can turn to hatred and knew that people were just making up gossip and reveling in the lies. She found out that when JWs gossipped about things they knew nothing about (e.g., my reasons for leaving) they showed a "love for the lie" and it made her think about speaking up and leaving. (My own mother was saying that I must have demons, because only demons could have removed me from the Organization.)
She didn't leave then. But soon after, her JW husband started becoming physically abusive and the elders told her to please just keep it quiet for the sake of Jehovah's name and the reputation of the congregation. She started sensing that the elders and even her own JW friends didn't care and were also more willing to believe gossip than to believe she should be blaming her husband for her bruises. It triggered her memories of what had happened to me, and she left without looking back.
I hope that your daughters never go through anything as traumatic as all that, but I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities in the near future for them to question certain things that go on. My mother, as I mentioned before, was vehement against me for years, but has now softened enough to where some of our conversations make it sound as if nothing had happened.
I'd like to think that there will be many available scenarios where they will need to interact with you and your wife, or perhaps more easily with their brothers. If your daughters don't plead with their brothers to come back for the sake of their "life in the new system" then there is a good chance that they subliminally realize that there are reasons that are too powerful for them to deal with. If your daughters do come back to "help" them, then they are sincere and should sooner or later ask what the real problem is. More likely they will accept assumptions about the "real" problem -- pride, wanting to be worldly, too lazy to put the effort into being JWs, self-absorbed, seeking attention, etc. If your sons can be aware and ready to present the reasons they've left in a way so that their sisters won't run away, they might be able to speed up the process of sowing seeds of truth in your daughters' minds.
Gamaliel
Dansk

Just an update.
It's now been 9 weeks and we are still being shunned by our daughters. No letters, no 'phone calls, no visits, no text messages - all ours went unanswered so we don't bother any more, and we haven't even been DFd or DAd. The memorial is coming up and there's a circuit visit at the same time. I know what they're thinking, but it's all emotional blackmail and won't work! We will NEVER set foot in a KH again!!
Working on the campaign strategy has been good for me. Also, as you know we've celebrated Karl's 18th birhday, we've bought the Easter eggs in (though Karl and Dom don't know that ), I've met up with Searchforthetruth and ISP for lunch this past week and I've received some terrific e-mails and personal messages. Everyone has been great here, thanks!
My wildlife garden is now taking shape, the frogs are still at it in the pond, the flowers are starting to burst forth on the trees and the birds and other wildlife are all twitterpated. Last year we collected a bumper crop of damsons, so had lots of jam and pies. Yep, this'll do me. Truly living at last - and with E-man's barbie still to come
Dansk
Dansk

Should be an interesting week ahead of us. The C.O. is here visiting my old congregation for the week - PLUS it's the Memorial! Now, whenever it's the CO's visit they always take my area's map out! I wonder if I'll get a visit...................?
Dansk
Dansk

Amazing! The CO's visit didn't include any call on Physio and I, AND this area map wasn't even covered!
That's very unusual and I can only think I'm considered a wee bit dangerous now - considering the Borg took my daughters I guess they didn't want to experience my wrath!
Well, we've had a great Easter - I received two chocky eggs - though still no word from our girls.
Physio and I met up with some Campaign Team Members yesterday for lunch and it was most enjoyable. Things are going on behind the scenes even though you might feel it is a little "quiet" on the forum. I'm intent on giving Watchtower as much pain as possible. On that you can rest assured.
Dansk
Hamas

Hi Dansk,
Sorry mate my reply has come a few months to late. I just hope that you get round to reading it.
Wow. What a story, I knew nothing of your past until I read the story. It must have been very hard for you to see everything happen like that, with your daughters deciding to take that stance. No words of mine could ever help the situation, but I just wanted you to know that your story touched me and I appreciate you sharing it with us.
How evil the Watchtower Society is, braking up families like this. You obviously pride yourself on a good family with high values, yet the Society is doing its best to destroy that. I pray that it doesn't , Dansk, for all your sakes. You deserve more.
I like the way you comment on how you were never a company yes man, lol. I know what you are saying there mate, me neither ! Although I never knew you, I could see myself getting on with you if we were part of a congregation, I seemed to like the people that had your attitude and mentality.
All this, but you still chose to support Man United ! lol..... Beckham on his way then....
Thanks again Dansk, a truly moving story.
Hamas

Hi Dansk,
Sorry mate my reply has come a few months to late. I just hope that you get round to reading it.
Wow. What a story, I knew nothing of your past until I read the story. It must have been very hard for you to see everything happen like that, with your daughters deciding to take that stance. No words of mine could ever help the situation, but I just wanted you to know that your story touched me and I appreciate you sharing it with us.
How evil the Watchtower Society is, braking up families like this. You obviously pride yourself on a good family with high values, yet the Society is doing its best to destroy that. I pray that it doesn't , Dansk, for all your sakes. You deserve more.
I like the way you comment on how you were never a company yes man, lol. I know what you are saying there mate, me neither ! Although I never knew you, I could see myself getting on with you if we were part of a congregation, I seemed to like the people that had your attitude and mentality.
All this, but you still chose to support Man United ! lol..... Beckham on his way then....
Thanks again Dansk, a truly moving story.

TORN APART

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