this is my first time posting on this board. i have been reading on the jw sight for a while now, though, and really appreciate seeing that there are others who feel and have gone through similar experiences. anyhow, i've been df'd for several years. i had several disigreements with especially the P.O.in our congreguation, he had such a controlling personality. the funny thing is that just before i got df'd, a sister helped me get a job at a local bank. i needed to have insurance on myself, my kids already had insurance. anyhow, i had no idea how many witnesses were working there, which i found out ofter i was df'd, ofcourse. so, it was an uncomfortable working enviroment, needless to say. then in may of last year, i had congestive heart failure, and was hospitlized. it ended up that i had kidney failure (because of lupus). well, since i just went through life and death, i prayed to god to let me know if i was wrong about being a witness, let me know in some way. well, at the end of the summer, i finally went home, and my dear sweet friend, who was a sister, shows up at my door. i said, "why are you here?", and she said "i'm sorry it took me so long." she started to come and visit me on a regular basis. then she told me an interesting story of how she and another sister (the one who helped me get my job) went to the elders and asked them to visit me in the hospital, since they couldn't go themself. and the elders replyed "why should we" CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE???well, i would say that my prayer was answered, wouldn't you!!!!!alot of witness knew i was severly ill, and i'm a single mother with 2 teenagers, and no one came to do anything. now, thats showing the love jesus showed, isn't it? so, today, i'm doing much better, i'm working on getting on the kidney transplant list, and i'm so much happier not being in that judmental orginazation. i am greatful to have a place to post this also, keep up the good work everyone.