GOING DOWN TO THE WIRE

by You Know 112 Replies latest jw friends

seven006

Bobby,
I know that you have put me on your "don't respond" list but I have a question for you. I have a Porsche that is sitting at a friends house waiting for a new engine (I blew it up about five years ago) and might be fixed some time this fall (right before Armageddon). My question is, would you like to have it when I die at Armageddon?
I know all you JW's have other peoples homes and stuff picked out to take over once we are all dead and the birdies are done eating our eyeballs, but I didn't want anyone taking my Porsche that I didn't know. It's black with gold BBS wheels and a nice German stereo in it. It will be great for listening to kingdom songs on the radio, that is if you guys will have anyone around that knows how to run a radio station, or can keep the electronics in the station working, or make the new parts needed when things break or can keep the power stations working to send electricity to the radio station so you to listen to kingdom songs or call all the resurrected prophets of old on the phone to invite them over for a vegetarian dinner cooked over a camp fire.
If you want I'll leave a note on the front windshield that says "reserved for Robert King after I die at Armageddon and the birds eat my eyes out." If another JW gets to it before you do I'm sure he will leave it alone and go pick some other guys car once he reads the windshield. I'm sure the new head guys in Brooklyn will have god tell you via a burning bush that there is a new law about who gets what and how to stake you claim to all the dead peoples stuff.
I'd leave you the title but I'm sure all the DMV people will be dead along with the rest of us so it won't matter. Just be careful at cross streets, I'm sure all the traffic light people will be dead so the lights might not be working I'd hate to see you get broadside by another JW driving his stolen.....I mean ......confiscated new Lexus.
You will need to put premium gas in it, normally that would be expensive but since all the gas station attendants will be dead gas will probably be free until it all runs out. Once god teaches one of you guys to run an oil refinery then you can put what ever they make in it, it won't matter then.
Since no one will ever die or get hurt you won't have to worry about insurance. I'm sure god is going to whack all those lying cheating bastard insurance guys right after he wipes out all the DMV people and those lazy ass people that work at the post office, and those damn telemarketing people who call you at dinner time, I'm sure god hates them as much as I do, ...those bastards! (sorry, got off the track a bit)
It also has a portable phone in it but since all the phone people will be dead you won't be able to call anyone until god teaches some of you to run the entire international phone switching stations. If you need to call someone you can pop up the sun roof and yell as loud as you can.
When the tires ware down I'm sure you can just go to an abandoned tire store and get new ones. There will probably be a tun of JW's who have tire store experience and they can set you right up. That is if they have time to spare from swimming in their pool in their new mansion. You may have to wait until all the chemicals in their pool go bad and they turn it into a garden to grow those basket ball sized radishes.
The tires on it should be good for about a year so you have plenty of time for the pool chemicals to turn the tire guys new pool to a bug infested swamp. There will still be bugs won't there? you will need bugs for the environment. God isn't going to kill all the bugs is he? He's going to save them like he did on Noah's ark isn't he? Maybe that will be you new job Robert, a bug wrangler. Someone will have to be in charge of all the bugs eating up all our rotting flesh. That sounds like a job you'd like Robe......damn, there I go getting of the subject again, sorry.
Just in case god decides that none of you need cars and that gas burning cars will pollute the earth and you all end up riding horses and camels will you please give my car a proper burial. I know that is asking a lot since you will have to bury about a billion or so cars to get rid of them all but I would feel a lot more comfortable if my car is handled personally by you, my favorite survivor guy.
Well, that's it. I hope you have fun in my car. It's great for picking up chicks and stuff. That is if you are still allowed to do stuff and there are any chicks left picking up. Obey all the traffic signs if they are still standing and try not to take it over 150 miles per hour in forth gear. It tends to blow the hell out of the motor.
Thanks pal and I hope you live happily ever after.
Dave
PS: Shit! I just remembered, your going die sometime after Armageddon and go to heaven! Never mind. PSS: Any idea on how god is going to kill ya?
Edited by - seven006 on 10 June 2002 19:47:30
larc

hey Seven,
I was so caught up in your last will and testement, that I also forgot that our buddy, You Know, has the heavenly hope. Perhaps, he can find someone of the earthly hope who can handle your wishes after your bones are picked clean by the vultures. Perhaps, You Know can give me a reference for someone in my part of the country who can handle my affairs. Hey, I don't have a sports car, but I do have a nice 1994 Buick Park Avenue with no rust on it. Hey, my Buick was created at about the time of the change in the generation thingy, therefore, it should last a long time.
Well, you can drive my car on I-75, but don't drive it over dead bodies. They told me at Midas Muffler that driving over dead bodies was bad for the suspension system.
COMF

He will shout, yes, he will shout a war cry
hillary_step

Now Seven,
You know that the only form of transport in heaven is a Formula One heavenly chariot, designed by Ezekiel and driven by God. It has wheels within wheels, and each wheel has eyes all the way around. I am sure you remember the application made for this vision. Of course, this chariot represents the WTS which is able to move at the speed of light in any direction that God wills instantaneously.
Perhaps a better application could have been that it manages to move in every direction at the same time....lol
HS
JT

This is why I love YK:
REPOST:::::::::::::
-----------------------------
While YouKnow defends the Watchtower Society, he does not consider himself subject to their ecclesiastical authority:
quote:
YouKnow also confirms this contractual agreement to abide by the ecclesiastical authority of Jehovahs Witnesses:

quote:
When you became one of Jehovah's Witnesses you had to meet certain qualifications. You didn't just walk in off the street and say you were a Witness. You had to become approved. You agreed to live by Christian morals and you also accepted the consequences of being disapproved by the congregation if ever you flagrantly violated the Bible's standard. You also agreed to accept the authority of the Watchtower Society to establish what was going to be taught as official doctrine within the congregation. You acknowledged as well the authority of the older men within the congregation and you agreed to be submissive to them. If now you no longer agree to any of those tenets of your faith you are no longer qualified to be one of Jehovah's Witness. And just as you had to originally be accepted and approved by the congregation in order to qualify as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, you can also be disapproved and judged as unfit to be associated and recognized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. / You Know
[bolding mine]
Stated more accurately, "You agreed to live by Christian morals as currently defined by the Watchtower Society and you also accepted the consequences of being disapproved by the congregation if ever you flagrantly violated the Bibles standard as currently interpreted by the Watchtower Society" Following ones Bible-trained Christian conscience is not enough; one must adhere to the Societys interpretation of the Bible and current rules to avoid being disfellowshipped.
This contract presents problems when ones conscience conflicts with the Societys current teaching. YouKnow is currently facing this dilemma. He questions the Societys involvement with the United Nations as an NGO but dares not speak out in his congregation. Here are some of his comments from the thread, "A Watchtower Society lie for UN association":

quote:
I am more convinced than ever that Jehovah's judgments are going to lay the Watchtower low and that only the faithful, those who really do love the truth and actually have faith in Jehovah, will survive the purge and eventually be restored to his favor. . . .
There is no question but that what the organization needs is a house cleaning, beginning with the house of God, otherwise know as Bethel. Jehovah is in a perfect position to do just that. . . .
I have no interest in the petty power politics that undoubtedly go on at Bethel. Human nature naturally stratifies any organization into progressive and conservative factions. You can see that in the local congregational level and I am sure it exists at the top of the organization. . . . The only thing I am concerned with is Jehovah's will and word. That's why I am content to do my thing and let them do theirs knowing that Jehovah will do his thing in due time. And indeed, his work is strange as Isaiah testifies. At some point the brothers will realize that the sheet is too short for covering themselves with, then they will have no choice but to sit down and re-read the Bible and jetison a lot of the stuff that we have been saddled with.
The only person I have spoken to about the UN scandal is my wife. I hope that I can keep my mouth shut and not disturb my brothers with this thing. . . . Really, the Bible says that it is beauty to cover over transgression. So, I really don't want to call attention to the scandal. It's a shameful thing in my opinion. Its disgraceful. . . .
The Watchtower probably isn't going to be the agency through which those answers come during the crunch time. I think I might be in a position in the future to redirect the loyal ones more succesfully into the truth.
So while YouKnow points out that all baptized Jehovahs Witnesses have agreed to submit to the doctrinal authority of the Society, he quietly disregards their authority and does his own thing, speculating about a time in the future when he might repudiate their doctrinal authority completely. YouKnow values his dedication to Jehovah more highly than submission to an organization. Admirable as this attitude is, still, under the Watchtower contract, this is grounds for disfellowshipping.
from
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=15500&site=3&page=2
seven006

Larc,
Me too, I didn't remember that Roberts body is going to be parakeet food either until I got to the end.
I have always wondered how god was going to kill those with desires for an upper floor management position. It will have to be a nice death, ya know, nothing that will hurt much. I think God starts with their brain first, many years before their body is killed. Look at Bobby, it's already at least half brain dead. Now is that a loving god or what?
Knowing my "elder" brother he will go after my car. He hated when I bought the car brand new and he told me that I was being materialistic. It's funny how none of the non-materalistic JW ever talk about fighting over someone's old and rusted mobile home after they die at Armageddon. I will leave a note for my brother to go take care of your car. He's a Park Avenue kind'a guy, he likes everything big, it fits his head.
HS,
That sounds like bible stuff to me. I have tried to forget as much of that as I could. A wheel with in a wheel? Are you saying that Bobby is going to heaven on a roulette wheel? That would be so cool, he would have that little marble to play with on the long trip up stairs. Boy, that god guy sure has a sense of humor.
All I know is that Bobby is going to die after we do. Dead, dead, dead, and no more internet to play on. Then he is going to be god's wife. That's funny, Bobby as someone's wife. I wonder if he has a nice dress pick out to where for the wedding? Will he then be Jesus's step mom? How does that work?
This bible stuff is so confusing.
Dave
gumby

Of course, factoring in the metastasizing apostasy and the general malaise within the organization it is evident that Jehovahs judgment is imminent.
Now wait juuuuuuuust a minute there bud.
First....religion has to get turned on by the beast BEFORE any holocost erupts.
Then after religion is down, the beast turns on you dubbers. Then peace and security is proclaimed. Then it's like touching Jehovah's eye. Then the shit hits the fan!
After all this happens.....then you can have your nuclear war YK. Remember.....this is the order given of events as held by the big boys, and so your hiroshima will be on pause for awhile.! (unless you know something they don't)
Edited by - Gumby on 10 June 2002 21:4:53
TR

What does this have to do with heterosexuality?
gumby

What does this have to do with heterosexuality?
After the bomb is dropped....we we all be heterosexual..wt 1953 2/15
COMF

GOING DOWN TO THE WIRE

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