The Outing of Faders, and the Epilogue of Sic Semper Tyrannis

by zed is dead 298 Replies latest members private

• 

  flipper

  I think the biggest blunder in this situation ( as well as the AAWA members who force added people ) was allowing the AAWA to continue existing for 3 weeks and waiting too long to immediately shut it down. I do not understand the justification for it aking 3 weeks to become aware of people being outed, DFEd, or having their lives be turned upside down. The AAWA president and other AAWA people were informed VERY quickly that something was wrong and awry that people were being outed- yet 3 weeks went by without action of shutting the site down to prevent further damage. And THAT was the major problem I had with it. Responsibility- or Response- ability is the ability to respond and make good, informed decisions- which did NOT happen in this case- and people suffered needlessly due to the plug not being pulled on the AAWA site sooner.

  It's one reason I make damned sure that I ask each apostafest member if they want their pictures posted- or not- on my yearly Apostafest threads. I would feel awful if someone got outed if I unresponsibly posted a picture they didn't want posted on the private thread. It's also one reason it took me a week and a half to get the pictures up- I was getting personal clearance from posters to find out if some wanted pictures posted or not. That- and I have a crappy 10 year old computer in which my CD drive stopped working- but I digress.

  Bottom line is that as EX-JW's we all need to realize that our personal agenda's are not more important than people's privacy or their own personal safety within their own life situations. If their cover gets blown it's not US that suffer the difficult horror stories if we have blown their cover for them - it's THEM personally who suffer from our lack of responsibility through no fault of their own ! So yes, it's something extremely serious and hopefully it never happens again on this board or elsewhere. But it probably will because certain ex-JW's have their agenda's as priority's - not other ex-JW's privacy and welfare at heart. Just my 2 cents. Peace out, mr. Flipper
• 

  cedars

  Simon

  I think the mistake you're making is trying to explain and defend things too much and make too much out of people's comments that were obviously in anger. Just apologise, don't try to justify or fire shots back.

  Once again, to all concerned, I apologise.

  Cedars
• 

  gma-tired2

  I'm going to be rude. What I have just read I feel like I have come across a group of JW teens who have no true way to express their feelings so we bicker, bicker and bicker some more. It was because we never learned the true meaning of accepting differing views. Sorry Love you All Gma-tired 2
• 

  jeremiah18:5-10

  Cedars

  You are valued member of this community and others to many people, myself included. Please accept that you will never please everyone, no matter what. Some people simply won't allow themselves to be pleased. Some feel they must speak up in behalf of those who won't and that's fine too. Either way accept that some things we say and do will rub some people wrong. Just know that others are appreciative of the good work you do also. I have respect for the positions of all here and am glad these positions vary, sometimes widely. Some views I agree with, some I relate to, some I don't, and some irritate me. But I accept it as views and move on I fear that matters like this might leaf to you once again leaving the board, I hope you don't, many of us appreciate the value you can bring.

  Just my two cents worth.

  Jeremiah
• 

  rebel8

  Even rebel8 who was also harmed in this incident has the graciousness to recognise that I wasn't personally responsible for what happened to her.

  It was not Cedars who did this to me personally.

  Yes, I was responsible as president, but surely you can recognise a difference?

  I do recognize the difference. I started and ran a charity and 1 member did some serious misdeeds. I quickly* removed his authority and stopped him from further acts. He is responsible for his acts and I am responsible for how I responded, since I was in charge.

  I have no idea how you responded to your situation, but whatever did or did not occur, everyone is responsible for his/her own acts or failure to act.

  I've never had anything but positive interactions with you so I am giving you the benefit of the doubt.

  I don't know who did these things to others--I do know who did it to me. As I said, I had asked her twice previously not to do something very similar. IMO it should be obvious never to do it in the first place.

  She seemed like a nice enough person but perhaps the issue is her interpersonal boundaries--a common symptom in ex-jws.

  Again, I see these acts as quite offensive and inappropriate, but I do see them in the context of ex-cultism and personal responsibility.

  It's too bad this issue is still upsetting enough to fuel threads today. What a terrible thing this has been for all concerned.

  ___

  *To the point of "quickly": I had to investigate first. Did he really do this thing? What evidence did I have? Then I had to contact an official so I could get legal advice. I tried to get pro bono advice from 2 attorneys and had to wait to see if they'd respond. Once the official replied with advice, then I was able to act. So I acted quickly but a process needed to happen first. It didn't happen in 5 minutes. It was a matter of days or weeks.
• 

  besty

  @simon

  Maybe the best thing would be to simply direct them to the people responsible? When it all kicked off people wanted to know who had done the bulk force-adding. Knowing who decided to keep the group open after that is just a natural follow on.

  That's a question. Who was the primary fuckwit with the huge ego?
• 

  Oubliette

  
• 

  blondie

  Digging up and beating a dead horse.
• 

  zed is dead

  I am not on any personal crusade against Cedars or anyone else. I do not blame him personally for the individuals that were outed, including SST. What I do fault him for is worrying about the reputation of his fledgling organization and himself, instead of people that were being harmed. This is a point I think he is not able to grasp. He was more concerned about reproach for his organization than he was about the individuals it claimed to want to help and protect.

  His original apology was mixed in with major praise for his organization. He apologized for several people being inconvenienced. I find someone getting disfellowshipped as more than an inconvenience. I think that losing your family is more than an inconvenience.

  Cedars, your implying that Sic Semper Tyrannis' story is not true has me baffled. You are so sure that I have some sort of vendetta against you. Are you implying that I made this story up? If so, have Simon check my PM's to verify the authenticity of some of my communications with SST. Just to let you know, he sought me out, I didn't approach him.

  I am not keeping a personal dossier on you, as you apparently have amassed about me. That is why I knew better than emailing you on your personal site. I know of others that have been burned by you who communicated with you outside of PMs.

  The thing that I am wondering is how many others are like Sic, and were similarly "inconvenienced?"

  zed
• 

  UnConfused

  To you that are saying to stop beating a dead horse, the horse isn't dead. He's still here.

  Zed was bringing up a real casualty to a real person and all the while Cedars was playing dumb demanding "proof". Yet he had it in emails. We now know even more about what a jerk he is.

  Why would Cedars do this? Here is one thought. He was defending his new shiney FB page and didn't want to lose all those members his stupid twit friends grabbed for him. He cared more about having a group that had lots of numbers than protecting people from being outed. "I'm sorry, but it's not all my fault" doesn't cut it when he could have pulled the site like an actual caring ex-jw would have done to protect fellow ex-jw's that had been force added.

  Cedars says he wants to "help" people with his bullshit site. After getting at least one person DF'd and others outed and now being shunned by family it's obvious Cedars motives are. Cedars wants to feel like a bigshot with his site and FB group.

  And I'll make it clear. You're not trusted by a whole lot of people around here Cedars. Just go to your crap site and spew your sad psuedo intellectual attempts at being somebody and leave everyone else alone. If you had done this to me and I met your in person it would be hard for me not to crack your jaw for you. These were real people you jerk.

  Marvin sometimes just acts like a troll.