There are a lot of bad things that an ex-JW can do to another ex-JW, but I feel the most egregious thing that someone in our community can do is to out someone that is fading to their JW family and elders. I have seen this happen on different boards, and have seen the ramifications of these callous actions. It infuriates me when someone commits one of these betrayals of trust.
The people who are harmed usually just fade into obscurity and never post again. They are driven underground by people or group indiscretions. We never get to find out what happened to them, and how they were affected. They are not only alienated from past JW friends and family, but are scarred from opening up to the ex-JW community.
I have never considered myself an activist, but I have been very vocal about this particular topic. I guess that makes me one.
I have been in contact with one of our former posters, and have the rest of his story. He wanted me to share with you how he was affected by his being outed by an organization, and how he was treated. The ultimate outcome is that he is cut off from his family, and he was disfellowshipped.
He does not feel he can ever post here again under his former identity on JWN. He did give me permission to share his story. I will end this post with his own words.
"This is in regards to your thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/adult/250922/3/An-open-response-to-Cedars-PM-yesterday
When you speak of Cedars causing grief to the man who was outed to his family and elders, I assume you mean me.
I thank you for your continued advocacy. As I have chosen not to post anymore under this alias, I won't be commenting further on this matter in public. Indeed I did contact Cedars at his jwsurvey email address as he directed me to do in the thread I had started. This I did under a false name and email address, which I immediately pointed out to him. He was brief, but very testy with me. He wanted my real name and information so that he could thoroughly 'investigate' these 'claims' of mine as he put it. He then went on to say that there were a lot of people at JWN who were seeking to destroy him and that I could be anyone from JWN claiming to be SST and that I needed to prove who I really was. I reiterated my desire for complete privacy considering the recent developments, but he insisted on knowing everything so that he could 'assist' me. I wasn't seeking his assistance, nor AAWA's. There was no reason as I saw it to disclose any further personal details since he and his organization were at fault for already exposing mine. cedars was of no help whatsoever as he kept on asking for personal details and eventually flat-out refused to move any further without me giving my real name. I asked for his and he then accused me of being one of the 'JWN mob' who were trying to expose his identity. I then asked that they remove the FB group as the JC was meeting to discuss my 'membership' with an Anti-Watchtower group. cedars responded that this wasn't his call, and that he needed to bring it forward at an AAWA board meeting. He then invited me to become an AAWA volunteer since my days as a JW were numbered anyway, and I would serve as a focal point in their campaign against shunning. It was at this point that I stopped my communication with Cedars as it was apparent that he was only interested in (good) publicity for his group. In response to my refusal, he then openly questioned the validity of my 'story' and suggested that I was only interested in sensationalist stories since I didn't go to him first, but rather had posted on JWN.
The JC met and printouts of the FB group's mission were shown to me. I asked for the screenshots that I was a member and was declined. I had two witnesses of this already, so this was unnecessary. I was asked if I self-identified as an apostate, but I did not. I did admit to looking into the organization's past and studying, but at this point I was cut short. I was disfellowshipped a week later. No appeal was filed.
The printouts were dated after my posting here, which means that they had only begun to investigate my 'association' with AAWA after I had asked them to remove the FB group. If they removed it as everyone was asking for, the evidence would have only been circumstantial and from hearsay. At least with a deleted group I could have used the 'what group?' defense.
I just wanted you to know that you are quite correct in your assessment of Cedars' character and naked ambition.
I don't know who's more dangerous, JWs or ex-JWs who want to make careers out of writing critical things about JWs? I friended a few here on JWN on FaceBook and that's where Julia Barrick Douglas found me. I'm really irritated that I am cut off from most of my family now just because some guy wanted to write a book and this witch on FB was collecting members for his publishing front. Go ahead and use my information I provided. He's still lurking around like he didn't do anything wrong, so to hell with him. I could go on, but I'm already worked up enough.”