The Outing of Faders, and the Epilogue of Sic Semper Tyrannis

by zed is dead 298 Replies latest members private

  • zed is dead
    zed is dead

    There are a lot of bad things that an ex-JW can do to another ex-JW, but I feel the most egregious thing that someone in our community can do is to out someone that is fading to their JW family and elders. I have seen this happen on different boards, and have seen the ramifications of these callous actions. It infuriates me when someone commits one of these betrayals of trust.

    The people who are harmed usually just fade into obscurity and never post again. They are driven underground by people or group indiscretions. We never get to find out what happened to them, and how they were affected. They are not only alienated from past JW friends and family, but are scarred from opening up to the ex-JW community.

    I have never considered myself an activist, but I have been very vocal about this particular topic. I guess that makes me one.

    I have been in contact with one of our former posters, and have the rest of his story. He wanted me to share with you how he was affected by his being outed by an organization, and how he was treated. The ultimate outcome is that he is cut off from his family, and he was disfellowshipped.

    He does not feel he can ever post here again under his former identity on JWN. He did give me permission to share his story. I will end this post with his own words.


    "This is in regards to your thread:

    When you speak of Cedars causing grief to the man who was outed to his family and elders, I assume you mean me.

    I thank you for your continued advocacy. As I have chosen not to post anymore under this alias, I won't be commenting further on this matter in public. Indeed I did contact Cedars at his jwsurvey email address as he directed me to do in the thread I had started. This I did under a false name and email address, which I immediately pointed out to him. He was brief, but very testy with me. He wanted my real name and information so that he could thoroughly 'investigate' these 'claims' of mine as he put it. He then went on to say that there were a lot of people at JWN who were seeking to destroy him and that I could be anyone from JWN claiming to be SST and that I needed to prove who I really was. I reiterated my desire for complete privacy considering the recent developments, but he insisted on knowing everything so that he could 'assist' me. I wasn't seeking his assistance, nor AAWA's. There was no reason as I saw it to disclose any further personal details since he and his organization were at fault for already exposing mine. cedars was of no help whatsoever as he kept on asking for personal details and eventually flat-out refused to move any further without me giving my real name. I asked for his and he then accused me of being one of the 'JWN mob' who were trying to expose his identity. I then asked that they remove the FB group as the JC was meeting to discuss my 'membership' with an Anti-Watchtower group. cedars responded that this wasn't his call, and that he needed to bring it forward at an AAWA board meeting. He then invited me to become an AAWA volunteer since my days as a JW were numbered anyway, and I would serve as a focal point in their campaign against shunning. It was at this point that I stopped my communication with Cedars as it was apparent that he was only interested in (good) publicity for his group. In response to my refusal, he then openly questioned the validity of my 'story' and suggested that I was only interested in sensationalist stories since I didn't go to him first, but rather had posted on JWN.

    The JC met and printouts of the FB group's mission were shown to me. I asked for the screenshots that I was a member and was declined. I had two witnesses of this already, so this was unnecessary. I was asked if I self-identified as an apostate, but I did not. I did admit to looking into the organization's past and studying, but at this point I was cut short. I was disfellowshipped a week later. No appeal was filed.

    The printouts were dated after my posting here, which means that they had only begun to investigate my 'association' with AAWA after I had asked them to remove the FB group. If they removed it as everyone was asking for, the evidence would have only been circumstantial and from hearsay. At least with a deleted group I could have used the 'what group?' defense.

    I just wanted you to know that you are quite correct in your assessment of Cedars' character and naked ambition.

    I don't know who's more dangerous, JWs or ex-JWs who want to make careers out of writing critical things about JWs? I friended a few here on JWN on FaceBook and that's where Julia Barrick Douglas found me. I'm really irritated that I am cut off from most of my family now just because some guy wanted to write a book and this witch on FB was collecting members for his publishing front. Go ahead and use my information I provided. He's still lurking around like he didn't do anything wrong, so to hell with him. I could go on, but I'm already worked up enough.”

  • Dagney

    Yeah, despicable and egregious behavior on the part of said activist/advocates, and a shallow edited/re-edited apology. No, I'm not over it.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Zed is dead...I am very sorry this stupidity happened to you.

    Thank you for telling us what really happened.

    To be DF because of someone else's agenda, is unconscionable.

    I am so sorry.

    Just Lois

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    This is very sad. I just wish SST would have fought against and appealed his DFg.

    Really, anyone can force-add anyone to any group on FB, as we saw in this case. And Zed, you were recently force-added to another group.

    Anyone that is fading should use a pseudonym on FB just in case!!!

  • eva luna
    eva luna

    Greetings Zed,

    Thank you for bringing this to our attention..

    I have not forgotton what happened a few months ago, and am saddened to hear this terrible fallout to one of us.

    "us" and what does that mean?

    Someone trying to hawk a book or new web page...disgustiing. Sad that you need to be so careful with 'us'.

    A very sad story.

  • cedars

    I can only apologize once again for any and all distress and injury caused by AAWA's extremely ill-thought-out approach to facebook in the days following its opening.

    Being a fader myself I do sympathise with SST's ordeal in being disfellowshipped. That is any fader's worst nightmare. However, I do think it is unfair to hold me directly and personally responsible when I had no control or input over how we approached our facebook launch. As president of AAWA during the debacle I have apologized and will continue to do so, however even SST must surely recognise that it was not me who set up the facebook group, and it was not me who force-added him. It WAS however me who was president of the organization at the time, and in that respect all I can do is apologize, repeatedly if necessary.

    As to the email exchange, I have no recollection of that. It would be helpful if some dates could be given so that I can check what was said for myself and apologize further if necessary for the way I handled things. I am not doubting that the exchange took place, but it would be a courtesy if the conversation is to be paraphrased if I could have a date where I can go back and check the way I expressed myself. I have done a quick search of my inbox by searching "AAWA" and can't see anything so far. Also, I can't recall any time when I have insisted on learning any fader's "real name." Frankly this is information I cannot imagine being interested in, and I would gladly give SST the benefit of the doubt, but it would be helpful if I could check my own email record and confirm what was said.

    Probaby I am only adding fuel to the fire in making this reply and doubtless my words will be picked apart and portrayed as showing apathy or arrogance of some sort. That is a risk I take in replying. However, I will stress again that I HATE the thought of having even the remotest involvement in faders being outed, and I am only too ready to apologize for not giving this subject more thought before AAWA was launched. The truth is that facebook was barely discussed prior to the launch and the management of AAWA's facebook presense was entrusted to only one or two individuals. If I could go back in time and more strongly influence the way things worked out I would do, but I can't.


  • ThisFellowCheap

    Well, well... Here we go again!

  • AnnOMaly

    Definitely a fader's worst nightmare! My heart aches about this Thanks for the update, zed. I wonder about any fallout for the other victims too. Absolutely shameful.

  • Truth seeker 674
    Truth seeker 674

    It is truly a disgracefull thing to out a fader.

  • Truth seeker 674
    Truth seeker 674

    It is truly a disgracefull thing to out a fader.

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