I Think My Marriage Is Over...

by cognac 135 Replies latest jw friends

  • wasblind

    Blondie- he can... He'd just hv to be the one to get d'ffed. Then he'd just come right back in again...____Cognac

    I wasn't a born in , so I have to ask

    You mean, bein' disfellowsipped and re-instatement absolves

    him of all wrong ??????

  • minimus

    If your husband wants to be in paradise, he's going to get disfellowshipped first for playing like he is. Silly man!

  • minimus

    Putting my old elder hat on, I'd say , not so fast!!!

    We had a couple in our Hall that did the same thing. They got reinstated about 7 years later! The fact that they planned and simply thought after X amounts of time, they'd be in the congregation---well, it didn't work that way at all.

  • tiki

    he has a wife and two babies and he is messaging and whatever with some other woman and he thinks HE's going survive the big A???? he needs to get a better handle on his religion. he is being disloyal to his own, his familly and seeking something elsewhere - that is according to the religion as good as adulterous behavior which means he is raptor meat.

    do what you must, cognac....but put those little kids as your number one priority. they need love and a stable home environment.

  • jgnat

    The guy is too fool to realize he is tossing the best part of his life, being a husband and a father. You can see the disruption ahead and I understand if you are cautious. But what is the alternative? You are being disrespected and replaced in your own home. Here's a plan of action, that you can modify for your own circumstance.

    1. Withdraw all money from joint accounts and put them in to an account in your own name.
    2. Tell him the marriage is over and that he must find his own place to stay. Pack his bags if need be.
    3. Negotiate the financials. (Women tend to negotiate the relationship while the guy negotiates financials. Be practical, girl, and you can talk about the relationship after he wakes up to what he has lost). If he is feeling guilty, all the better. Get him to commit to his share. You and your girls need a safe and secure roof over your head.
    4. Repeat over and over to the little girls that none of this is their fault and mommy and daddy will always love them.
    5. Work out a generous custody sharing arrangement so that dad continues in your little girl's lives.
    6. Always work out disputes in private, and never put your children in the middle.

    BTW, I did an end-run around the whole paradise dream by openly talking about the cute little house we will share together in paradise. I talk about it more than he does. He is too polite to tell me I won't make the cut.

  • wasblind

    Thanks for explainin' that Min,

    Otherwise , It would look as if deliberate acts would be excused after a lengh of time

    It's been said that God forgets things and can throw 'em as far as the East is from the West

    Men need to recognize, Women ain't God, we don't forget nothin'.

    Do somethin' to us, and we tend to drop that mess at your feet.

    Trust, It's bad when a man have to step in his own mess

  • ruderedhead

    I'm so sorry for your troubles, cognac. I imagine your poor heart is breaking. You have been given some wise advice here. Only you know exactly what your situation is and what will likely work best. Take to heart the advice to document everything. Keep it in a safe place he will not locate it accidentally. I know some who haven't done that, for various reasons, and they have gotten the short end of the stick . As others have said, Plan everything. Speak to an attorney without his knowing so you know your legal rights and what to expect should you decide to leave. Say nothing to him or the woman until you know what to do. Come here to vent if you need to let off steam.

    Do you have the means to support yourself financially, job skill wise? If not, are you able to go back to school and get an education that will allow you to leave and support yourself? I have 2 daughters (16 & 23), and I have always told them they should be able to support themselves, as you never know if you will have to. The oldest has a bachelor's degree. You may want to start at community college, or a trade program that you can build on. Think it through, dear cognac.

    All the best to you and your children.

  • mrsjones5


  • mrsjones5

    " I already flipped out on this girl the first time and even got her brother involved so she would back off. The profile pic on my husbands FB account is of us and there are tons of pics of me and the kids on it. Apparently, she couldn't care less... And I don't know what my husband is thinking..."

    My advice is don't talk to the girl anymore. She's not your problem, your dear hubby is. Besides you don't know what he's filled her head about you but you can best be sure sure she thinks she's better than you, that she's some prize cuz a married man with two kids is willing to chuck it all for her, and she's riding high thinking she's got that much power over your silly hubby. You're totally right, she couldn't careless about you or the family she's helping to destroy.

    Focus on what's best your you and your kids. It may not be staying with an adulterous husband.

  • minimus

    Wasblind, you are so funny and so right!!!

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