First of all, I MUST say I love where the "lingo" of this thread has gone, dear jgnat ("be practical, girl") and Wuz (your whole response)! Makes it all sound really... real... if you know what I'm sayin', nohmsayin'? And WONDERFUL advice, dear jgnat:
(Women tend to negotiate the relationship while the guy negotiates financials
This is SO true! Dear Cogn'... peace to you, as well, and while I'm sure no one here WANTS to see your relationship end, if it does you had better try to end "like a man", girl. Like dear Miz Josie (peace, chile'!), I would tell you not to worry about that [other] woman, any more - she doesn't owe you the same loyalty your husband does (although, just as another woman AND a JW she owes you SOME. But, no, you can't blame her... unless he's TRIED to run from her and she just won't stop HER pursuit... which isn't what it sounds like here).
I don't believe in or agree with divorce "just because." But I wouldn't advise ANYONE to stay where THEY are not wanted. I certainly wouldn't. If my husband one day "decided" that he wanted/needed/was more attracted to someone else... my position would be "Don't let the door hit'cha!" Perhaps some women believes is better... easier... to stay where they're not really wanted for the sake of economics ("Sh*t, now I'll have to go to work!"). As bad as work can be, though, staying in a relationship where one member has already checked out... HAS to suck eggs worse! And what it can do to one's self esteem? I can't imagine! I can imagine what it can do to your daughters' (and even sons') self esteem, though.
Me? I would confront him and ask what the hell does he want. If it's for me to be a JW I would have to say, "Nope, sorry, that's a deal-breaker." Sex with animals (or other people)? Nope, sorry, more deal-breakers. Illegal drugs? Mmmmmm... no. Too distruptive (and dangerous) in the long run. Everything else? Well, let's negotiate. Here's what *I* want/need. And go from there.
And if we couldn't reach a deal... then finances (if there are any) would be my FIRST concern... because of the children I'd have to care for. Second to that would be his visitation rights (because, depending on the situtation, that's not ALWAYS a desirable thing. Depends.).
Either way, you gotta approach this thing right: negotiate... and control the terms.
As dear jgnat said... like a man, girl, like a man.
Peace (all that you need, right now) to you... and may JAH bless!
A slave of Christ,