Maybe it's my not arguing that worries him...
Yep! When you do your "usual" (argue, etc.), dear Cogn (peace, chile'!) then he knows what's up... 'cause he knows what you're up to, how you feel, what to react TO, as well as HOW to react. You change up, though... and he has a brain fart (kind of typical for guys, though - most really do need a set routine. Not a put down, just an observation).
Now, he can't see straight... so as to do HIS "usual." Given what you say HE's been doing... and how you might NORMALLY react... he don't know which side is up and which is down, right now.
Go with that, girl. Remain calm. No matter what (though, you don't wanna remain SO calm that you find yourself hurling a pot o' hot grits at him or something - if you need to vent... vent... so no one gets hurt - LOLOLOL!). Otherwise... never let him see you sweat!
A slave of Christ,
SA, gives a wink to dear "Cool As a Cogna... ummmm... Cucumber"...