I Think My Marriage Is Over...

by cognac 135 Replies latest jw friends

  • NeverKnew

    Cognac... you have two daughters? Don't you dare teach them to compromise their happiness for a SH$*#head... not even their sperm donor is worth the rest of their lives stuck in a false understanding like that.

    I remember my ex throwing my belongings (and a few of my daughter's) from a second story window of our rented townhome. She and I slept in the car for a couple of days before I drove 300 miles back to my parent's home for good. Yes, he was cheating. It was horrible. I went to group counseling (with other women) and learned a lot.

    One piece I will never forget.... we were asked if we knew why women stay with men who treat them badly. The answer: Because at least they knew what to expect on a daily basis. Leaving means entering into the unknown zone.

    You will find strength - maybe now is not the time - but when the tipping point comes, you'll know. Also, know that you will second guess yourself during the process and if you decide to go through with a divorce know this, you can always remarry the SOB, and he'll know you're not scared to let him go if disrespected!

  • FlyingHighNow

    This is the father of your children people are talking about here. Is he abusive to you physically or emotionally? I mean serious abuse? If not, try not to look at him as a #$%head. That is not going to help you or him or your daughters. Adultery is not always about sex. Sometimes it's a symptom of a marriage with deep problems.

  • NeverKnew

    In all fairness, I don't know him. Cheating makes one person feel emotionally devalued, insignificant and lost. To me, that's worse than physical abuse... and I know both.

    Cheating just gets my blood boiling.

    If things work out, I'll sincerely cheer you two on.

  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis
    Any man who treats you like that is not worth the emotional and financial investment.

    There are relationships that are so unique and cover such a broad and deep spectrum of connections and things in common, plus common history, that are indeed worth fighting for. Cheating isn't the only vow people break in marriages. JW's treat cheating as if it has to be unforgivable. It does not have to be. Time can give you a very different perspective on it.

    This is more than mere cheating. He is being emotionally abusive and is twisting even JW beliefs in a pathetic attempt to justify his actions. Clearly, he struggles to be honest with even himself. ...nothing to work with there....

    If not, try not to look at him as a #$%head. That is not going to help you or him or your daughters.

    If he IS a #$% head, then she SHOULD view him as such. Just about everyone here know that JWs do not promote leaving your kind and good non-JW wife and kids to hook-up with some JW so you can have a wife in paradise. They are whacked, but not THAT whacked!

    Who other than a #$% head does that? She should look at him realistically, and he doesn't appear to be the man she thought he was.

  • Satanus

    It's nice to fhn here to keep the balance.


  • outsmartthesystem

    Welcome to the club. My wife left 3 months ago due to my "apostasy". She has been nothing short of a venemous pit viper since then. I officially filed for divorce last week as even if our relationship COULD be repaired.....given what she has pulled these last 3 months.....I no longer even want to try to mend it.

  • cognac

    Thank you so much for yours posts. I have read every single one of them and my brain is in a fog from all I have to contemplate- that and my 3 year old had me up all night cause she wasn't feeling good. All of a sudden he is being really sweet to me. I don't no why.

    I still don't have a clue what I'm going to do. Until I figure it out I'm taking your advice and getting my finances and everything in order.

  • Finkelstein

    All of a sudden he is being really sweet to me.

    Could this be because he's now aware of you knowing about him be flirtatious with other woman ?

  • cognac

    He's usually nice for 24 hours when he screws up. And this time I didn't get into a huge argument about it with him. I just feel like I'm not going to argue about it this time- I simply have a decision to make. Maybe it's my not arguing that worries him...

  • FlyingHighNow

    Does the other woman live near you?

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