Wow, you wonderful people weren't wrong about feeling free, even if I wasn't that deep into the cult. I hadn't gone out witnessing yet because something just kept telling me "No" regardless of their not so subtle pressure, including a talk by a ministerial servant where he looked at me saying "We've all got those studies who know everything and as much as we try to help them, can't get them to make that full dedication to Jehovah"
Aussie Oz - And when they talk about you they will say probably it was that "jehovah" did not want you . And thats why he let you fall to Satan.
I remarked to my Elder friend one day (many years ago) that i hoped my disfellowshipped brother would come back, his reply?
"Have you not thought that perhaps jehovah does not want him back".
That's disgusting. I didn't like 3 of 5 elders in the congregation i was in and these are the men supposedly appointed by holy spirit. One of them, if you saw in the street, you'd run like hell, he was that unapproachable. It just never made sense that they were CHOSEN to "sheperd the flock." But I guess they have to say anything to feel better when someone leaves because they learn its a huge crock of shit when they're taught (and so was I) that there's no love anywhere else, no friends anywhere else, no truth anywhere else. So WHY WOULD ANYONE LEAVE in that case? I tried to get out 2 months ago saying "I don't like how cruel the disfellowshipped are treated and how they could be possibly sinning against an entire congregation of people who can switch off any human sympathy and love for that person because they're told to." and she makes me speak with 3 former disfellowshipped people who all said "It was the best thing ever happened! If the friends hadn't cut me loose i never would have known what i was doing wrong and rely on Jehovah to help me fix it."
I told a MS that I had watched the disfellowshipped's videos and it made me sad and he said "Those people are just there to make YOUR life harder. Half of them are acting, too." More Then he changed the subject with how well I'm doing. SO I changed it back to why the doctrine has changed since the "Bible students" were founded. He said "Yes, but the light gets brighter, and we admit to our mistakes, other religions don't." Then he changed the subject to: "You come here now and you know what we're about. You don't need the opinions of disgrunted ex members" So i changed it back to "I don't like the pedaphile scandals" and he said "The catholic church have more than us." So i said "How can God have an organization full of imperfect people no different to the worldly ones you condemn?" and he said "We are trying the hardest." ANSWER. FOR. EVERYTHING.
Ha, my conductor would always say to me "I want you to ask me the tough questions!" but i don't think she meant as tough as anything on JWfacts.com. I did ask her where the hell 1914 came from since it's not in the Bible and of course the society books come out. AS IF I'm accepting that. They even had a part one night on doing research to find truth (the nerve!) and the demonstration was a guy at a desk with 3 stacks of society literature ONLY. I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up. It's practically criminal to plant in people's heads that they never need to use outside literature to research things. REVOLTING. VERY different to what I learned at college.
Anyway, update on the present situation:
I got the phone messages and emails. They're using the "You mean so much to Jehovah, that's why things got hard for you, and you felt you had to make this decision, but Satan is NOT stronger so if you only kept going..." Took everything in me not to write back "Satan is not here. He's at your assembly laughing at you." And I can't blame him because if i had to go, laughing would be the only thing to get me through it.
And the "I love you's"
I'm upset on one hand because I really did like some of the people I met. It's not fair... i went into this with the decision to make it my life because I truly believed it was truth, so I worked hard at making friends and it's hard to let go of those ones and harder knowing their interest in me is most likely limited to my progress. On the other hand I dunno if I can be friends with people who are so misled and don't care to learn that. I prayed and read the bible last night (and i know religion isn't for everyone here) but I found all the scriptures that assured me I hadn't "left God" when i left the witnesses.
"He said to them: "Isaiah aptly prophesied about you hypocrites as it is written. This people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far removed from me. It is in vain that they keep worshiping me because they teach as doctrines commands of men."
then it hit me like a ton of bricks: JW's are the pharisees! Then I found scriptures that JW's made me read out of context about going house to house and shaking the dust off your feet blah blah, and Jesus was talking to his disciples, not us. I believe in talking to people about Jesus but thats very different to bombarding them with literature and forcing them to attend all those meetings, and the rest. Jesus' command for us was more along the lines of feeding and clothing our fellow man, etc, which the JWs DO NOT do from what I've seen. Unless you're a JW, and even then, only when you're favoured. It's just from what I've seen, maybe it's different in other places.
Oh, but an elder told my mother at the door "We do the biggest charity work there is!" My mother said "What? Going door to door annoying the living shit out of people while believing you will live and they will die?"
So i do feel better, i'm just sad now about the 'friends'. But that only would have gotten hard had i stayed longer.
On that note, there's more love in this thread than at the kingdom hall!
OH! I said to her before saying i didn't want to go that i didn't want to hear another word about Satan, or apostates. She said "It won't be about any of that." YEAH, RIGHT!
I'm sure she'll email me how great the convention was, too and how good it would have been for me. I think I'll just ask her how many girls there couldn't walk in their shoes.