Sleaze Update...

by White Dove 209 Replies latest social relationships

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  Think About It

  Okay, let's put this out there for some of the guys:

  What kind of women do you think go for sex with strangers in secluded areas?

  Probably happens quite frequently with internet meetings. Women get horny too you know. Doesn't necessarily make them bad people. We are sexual beings. Two people meet, start kissing & rubbing in a secluded park, and before you know it leads to sex. Other than the guy getting oral sex, I would think they could go get a room for intercourse rather than do it in the park. Doesn't sound much different than when we were teenagers.

  Think About It
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  Lady Lee

  I think you needed to listen to your intuition on this one.

  Always go for safety over what another person demands.

  For those of you who want to call her names for thinking he had sex on the brain - SHE was no tthe one who suggested it. SHE merely suggested it was weird and didn't feel safe or comfortable in the heat. It was OTHERS who took it further.

  So knock it off. Every woman has a right to do what feels safe for her.
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  White Dove

  Thanks, Lady Lee. I pray the naivete' shown by about three people on this thread doesn't get them hurt in the future.
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  cognizant dissident

  I am many things, but I am not naive. As a student of psychology, I'm sure you're aware of the concept of projection?

  I think credible studies have shown that most men and women do have sex on the brain most of the time. That's just part of being human.

  Lady Lee, I did not see one person on this thread tell White Dove that she should ignore her instincts and meet the guy in the park, including myself.

  It was simply pointed out that there was no need to add layers and layers of dramatic scenarios after the fact and project them on to the guy without any evidence whatsoever. It WAS others who started this and White Dove appeared to be buying into them quite readily. Her subsequent posts give evidence of that.

  A few of us wanted to offer a more balanced perspective and look at it from the other person's perspective. Is it "mean" to call someone a drama queen (shame on you NVL!). Perhaps, but in my opinion, it's also "mean" to tell a professional person in the community, who has a reputation to protect, that his behaviour is a bit sleazy and unethical when all he did was ask you to go for a walk in the park. Project your own fears much? The greater harm was done to him in my opinion.

  It is just my opinion. I call em like I see em.
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  Violia
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  SixofNine

  that his behaviour is a bit sleazy

  well his behaviour is a bit sleazy.
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  ziddina

  Hmmm....

  I'm coming in during the middle of the discussion here, but from what I've picked up...

  It's insanely risky for a man to 'angle' for sex on a first date...

  Syphillis, gonorrea, herpes, AIDS... And the occasional psychotic slut or prostitute...

  It's also insanely risky for a woman to 'angle' for sex on a first date, too - but as of now, most women are still 'socialized' to be a bit more reticent... At least, unless you want to discuss the youngest generations who are having 'sex' parties - in which children as young as 10 are participating...

  Yes, I know White Dove isn't about to take such risks... Good for her!

  But people who want sex on the first date are either idiots or sex addicts. Common sense would advise against such impetuous behavior.

  Besides, if one is looking for a serious relationship, which, incidentally, should guarantee a fairly steady supply of sex, one will approach that first sexual encounter a few - or more than just a few - dates down the road...

  Gives one a chance to actually get to KNOW a little bit about the person one is about to become EXTREMELY intimate with, eh?

  Zid
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  cognizant dissident

  Yeah, that's all well and good Ziddina, except it has nothing to do with the actual topic of this thread. Because if you go back and read all of the three threads White Dove started on this topic (why? was one not enough?), you will see that the man never actually asked her to have sex on the first date, never mind sex in a public park.

  All he did was ask her to meet her at the duck pond in the park and she wanted to meet at Starbucks and they got into an argument about where to meet and he was a bit rude and inconsiderate.

  A few people suggested he really wanted to meet her in the park for a quickie of oral sex and convinced her that was his real motive and then he emailed her with a very polite apology saying he was sorry and had no intention to cause any harm and she emailed him back saying his behaviour in insisting they meet at the park was a bit sleazy and unethical.

  From there it snowballed into many just assuming he truly did ask her to have sex in the park and what a criminally perverted sexual deviant he probably was and maybe other people should be warned. Then a few of us pointed out that perhaps this was taking it a bit too far and was a little overly dramatic and then the subject suddenly got changed to whether it is wise for women to meet strange men for oral sex in a public park on the first date and wasn't that just a bit whorish? WTF?

  Not one person ever suggested it was a smart thing to do. That was not the original subject. Way to throw in a red herring off topic. Because the real topic of this thread is: was this guy a complete sleaze bag for inviting her to the park for a first date, or was he just inconsiderate? Well, none of us will ever know because she didn't go. End of! So why keep speculating and dredging up the drama?

  But then that's kind of the modus operandi of drama queens and kings everywhere, isn't it? When the voices of reason try to provide a calming balanced perspective, it is necessary to escalate the drama level by adding new volatile topics to the mix, such as: How can you naive people suggest that it is OK for any woman to meet a complete stranger for sex in a public park on the first date?

  The only problem is, nobody ever did suggest such a thing. Including the man in question. At least not on this thread.
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  Violia

  We do have to watch our borders and lines .

  Good one Cog.
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  ziddina

  Wow, Cog/Diz!!

  Yeah, I really did come in during the middle of the 'movie', all right...