A true friend does not always tell you what you want to hear.
Indeed
Sleaze Update...
by White Dove 209 Replies latest social relationships
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Twitch
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VampireDCLXV
These topics have always been of particular interest to me and that's why I continue to comment on this thread.
You yourself have admitted in other posts that you like to see a good fight, CD. As a friend, I would urge you to try to use just that little bit of extra tact with WD, even IF she is every bit the drama queen that you think she is. Love ya.
V665
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cognizant dissident
Yes, but as long as I'm happy with a good fight, then I don't have a problem, do I?
Besides, I was being sarcastic when I said that. I don't actually like fighting, as in physical or name-calling. I don't mind a good debate on a subject of interest to me. As long as I'm winning. Like in this one with you.
Tact is not my strong point, though. I will give you that. I think I value honesty and logic more than tact. Especially on an internet discussion board, where I don't kid myself that any of us truly know each other. In my real life relationships, I much more kind and tactful. (I think. Perhaps I'm deluding myself? )
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THE GLADIATOR
The hardest thing for people to accept is the truth about themselves.
I have read through this thread, without comment, and noted your posts with interest. They appear to me to be perceptive, balanced and helpful. Sometimes our best friends are those who are prepared to risk being honest and take the flak that can follow.
You have been a friend to White Dove even if she is not yet aware of this.
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White Dove
Twitch,
You answered my question. And, since I am relationship minded and there are tons of fish in the sea that aren't, it will take a lot of throwing 'em back (fishing term) before finding someone who is.
So many relationships go into the crapper because the people just ignored the warning signs that were there all along.
It seems like most of the women my age have been divorced at least twice and are working on the third.
I am not statistically oriented. I watch what happens around me and pick up clues.
That's why I've been single since '95. I swore that I'd never go through another divorce. The first one was hard and painful enough.
When I do finally get with a guy, I'll know it's for keeps.
Thanks, Cog, for your nice posts this time. You made some valid points.
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lola28
I’ve been trying to stay away from this thread but finally decided to give in. White dove, it really bothers me to see this man be so demonized when you have NO PROOF that he wanted anything other than to meet in the park with you, all we have is your ridiculous interpretation of what he said. I would really hate to be a man because they are so likely to be accused of some really shitty things by hysterical women like you.
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cognizant dissident
When I do finally get with a guy, I'll know it's for keeps.
Honestly, I don't think any of us can ever know this for a certainty. There is always a risk involved in opening your heart to love another. You may view your relationship for keeps, but so do the majority of people who get married.
I know you don't like statistics, but statistically, the divorce rate for 2nd marriages is about double of that for first marriages. It's around 35% for first marriages, and around 75% for second marriages, making an all around average of approximately 55% of all marriages ending. It think it s around 95% failure rate for 3rd and subsequent marriages which are not as common.
Bottom line: there are no guarantees.
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White Dove
I didn't propose any shittiness by him. Others proposed shittiness.
Cog, yes, I've heard that. It makes just being FWBs seem better, safer somehow. Never had one of those, yet.
Seeing as he didn't want a relationship, that kills the friends idea, too, because friendship is a relationship. Never mind that he's definately not my type.
It's also true that there are no guarantees. We'd all like to know for sure, wouldn't we?
Learning how to live single is not easy.
Kyria said that it's just as hard as learning how to be in a relationship.
Both have their lessons.
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cognizant dissident
I'm struggling with it too, White Dove. I got engaged at 18. Married for 26 years. I loved being single for the first 8 months or so as my marriage was so bad at the end, by comparison, single was great. The novelty is wearing thin already though. It is a little lonely at times even though I am meeting new people regularly.
I mostly feel it in the evenings why my son is gone and on Saturday nights when he is out with friends. I'm trying not to get discouraged and trying to be my own best friend and enjoy my own company (which for the most part, I do). Finding an intimate partner would be the gravy on my already good life.
Good point about the lessons and the learning. We have learned how to live in relationship. Now we have to learn how to live alone. I've no doubt that there is much to be gained from learning how to do both equally well.
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VampireDCLXV
I've been alone all my life. I constantly remind myself of this credo: As bad as being lonely is, it's better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. It's about the only thing that keeps me from going bonkers over this...
V665