**** Some people don't teach their children manners. Grrr. ****

by FlyingHighNow 277 Replies latest jw friends

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  FlyingHighNow

  I agree with Miss Manners here. Expecting all children to believe that all adults are perfect is a bad idea. Children still should be expected to be polite and mannerly, even to adults they don't personally respect. We are not discussing whether the library lady teaches her kids that all adults are perfect. We are talking about politeness and manners.

  However, Miss Manners also writes:

  It is neither wise nor reasonable to expect children to think that adults
  are, by definition, smart, right, or admirable. Such an attempt will quickly
  lead a child of even average powers of observation to the conclusion
  that at least one adult, the one who makes this claim, is either dim-witted
  or mendacious...A child who is never allowed to betray the belief that any
  adult has done anything wrong is one who will quickly lose interest in the
  idea of being among such deluded fools.
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  mrsjones5

  Hm reminds me of my parents. After all this time (my youngest brother is 36 and I'm 44) my parents still want us to believe that they are perfect and never wrong. Pisses them off when we prove them otherwise, especially my mother.

  I don't put up a perfect front to my kids. I make mistakes and I readily admit to my kids that I do. They will point it out to me also, but the difference between me and my parents is I don't get pissed off if my kids point out a mistake. If it's a silly mistake, we laugh it off (Mommie made an oopsie). If's it's a big one like overreacting to something my kids did, I apologize and we talk about it. My parents have never laughed off a silly mistake or apologized for the big ones. Kinda explains some of my trust issues with them.

  Josie
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  FlyingHighNow

  Respecting someone's personal views and how they live their life is a different kind of respect than showing common courtesy. Even if my kids didn't like an adult for good reason, I'd expect them to offer the adult a seat because it shows a relative, general concern and courtesy to that adult. Which in itself is a kind of respect, though different from very personal respect for the individual.
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  FlyingHighNow

  I have heard someone say lately, "I didn't care for Michael Jackson and I am not sure whether he was innocent, but I will not speak disrspectfully of the dead." I didn't take this to mean that the guy had respect for Michael as an individual. I did see that showing respect, in general, mattered very much to him. My point is that respect has different meanings and ways that it is applied.
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  brinjen

  I think there's a few people missing the whole point here. It was a public library, meaning it's there for everyone to use, not just a few and by the sounds of it, enough seating for twice as many people as there was (children included). It's not rude to walk into a public area and tell other people they can't use while you're there? FHN never asked anyone to give up their seat and stand or sit on the floor, just a slight re-arrangement so she could use the area as well.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Brin, when I walked up, there was a very long sofa with a mom and two small children sitting next to her. Several feet away, on the other side of a large square coffee table and then a few feet from it, were two ottomons and then a couple of easy type chairs. Over near the coffee table were the kids back packs.

  The older children were not in the adult area. While the was mother speaking, one of the older children walked over from the children's area. One of them stayed playing in the children's area. So there was this adult area, for reading & relaxing, with one mamma and two kids. The sofa was large enough for an entire family. The ottomons were big enough for the kids to sit on. There were two additional chairs.

  Extenuating circumstances aside, the whole thing surprised me.
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  SixofNine

  pants!
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  FlyingHighNow

  Bellbottoms or capri's?
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  caliber

  This whole story of rudely taking up all the available seating reminds me of a memory I have as a child.

  We were raising two piglets together... we had a trough that we would fill with food ...it was likely

  5 feet long and very narrow in width... the male piglet at feeding time would lay in the trough eat his way backward

  making sure the female piglet would get little or no food ! I would hope we as even half caring humans would be showing

  more consideration and understanding of our fellow man and teaching our children such.. if not God help the human

  race in the future ! May "common courtesy" never become old fashioned or out dated !!!

  Respecting someone's personal views and how they live their life is a different kind of respect than showing common courtesy

  .
• 

  Odrade

  Haven't read the thread yet, but it strikes me, FHN, that you were rather rude to the woman on the couch, and very judgmental with your "looks" and your comment. I would venture to guess that your snippy and entitled behavior had a much greater impression on the woman and her children, than any "message" you felt you were imparting.

  But... maybe you've changed your mind in 5 pages and don't feel the need to brag about how self-righteous right you were. I can hope. Okay, off to read the thread now.