A@G- Can you two discuss "spiritual" matters or has she decided you are not the spiritual head of the household anymore? The reason I ask is that my wife will still engage in biblical discussion and this is a huge advantage in creating doubts.
My tactics are making inroads on my hardcore JW wife
by Awakened at Gilead 108 Replies latest members private
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digderidoo
I hope it all works out for you, you know your situation best. I was one of the ones who thought shunning her was not the best option, but i'm pretty sure you love your wife and she loves you. If everything works out for you then you have done the right thing.
Paul
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Awakened at Gilead
A@G- Can you two discuss "spiritual" matters or has she decided you are not the spiritual head of the household anymore? The reason I ask is that my wife will still engage in biblical discussion and this is a huge advantage in creating doubts.
No, not too worry, no subject is off limits with us...
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treadnh2o
Thats great. my wife feels we are able to communicate much better now.(probably because I am completely honest about who I am) She does say she wishes we could have discussed spiritual thing before I bailed. Also, after every spiritual conversation she is left with saying "I'll ask the elders about this" or " I'll write the society"- She really won't and the doubts are building. A@G just be grateful you don't have kids in the equation. That is really the hardest part of making the decision about our future.
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str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up
Ah Lance
You are a shining star, and very possibly one of the clearest heads posting on this board. I admire you and the stance you are taking, I am sure you know whats best in this circumstance. Hopefully your wife will come to the realisation the organisation is rubbish and exit, but until then, at least you are out!
Much Love
Rob
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Dagney
A@G congrats on the inroads with the wife. I think you have done an awesome job in your own journey and now with the situation with your wife.
Each person really needs to chart their own course, don't they? I personally jumped with both feet all at once, and am sooo happy I did. Things just progress much quicker that way, and I like you, did not want to give one more minute of my precious life to the org. But not all wish to do that for personal reasons.
I commend you on the honest, open communication with your wife. She knows where you stand. Bravo!
I wish you continued success wherever the road leads you...
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New light for you
A@G,
I am so proud and impressed. So happy you can see progress. I actually sided with OOMPA, if my husband "awakened" me, and then 6 months later left me...i might shoot him. Just make sure she doesn't get into firearms in the fallout.
I of course hope that it will take your relationship into a whole new level. I believe we all had to change our relationships, weather now we became divided households or both came out... Your whole life is up in the air and changing. All these options, opinions, thoughts, ideas are out there and available for you to ponder now, it's going to change you drastically no matter what. I hope you can change together. I think tha'ts the challange.
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garybuss
I've been busy watering my trees and haven't read all the posts on this thread. I've lived through many, maybe most scenarios of being raised by Witness parents, living as a believing walking away, and being shunned by Witness family.
I lived with a Witness wife after I left and at first I tolerated it due to my guilt for not being able to accept the Witnesses' prolific errors and due to my inability to like being disrespected by the Witness people. But after a short while it got old. And after 18 years, in 1992, I reopened that chapter of my life seeking resolution.
I tried to show my wife Witness error but the reality was that she preferred them to me. When I realized that fact, my topic of conversation was "Who will I live with?". Do I want to live with someone who doesn't enjoy my company? I find it offensive when my partner prefers to spend time with people who shun me. I'm not living that way.
I laid out my plan to her and my plan included not living with a practicing Witness. That made it pretty simple. Them or me, take your pick. I've had it! I'm not spending my time or my recourses supporting people who insult and disrespect me. If you want to be with my enemies, then you're insulting me and disrespecting me. Marriage is tough enough on a good day without throwing a huge problem like Jehovah's Witnesses right in the middle of it. -
Awakened at Gilead
I laid out my plan to her and my plan included not living with a practicing Witness.
That is my plan too, Gary. My only question at this point is how much time I will give her to see if she will actually wake up. I'm not gonna wait 10 years for this to happen. I'm not going to ask her to make that decision tomorrow either... finding the balance is the key for me at this point as to when I will have to draw the line if she doesn't come out... I don't like living with someone who refuses to hang out with my friends and her firends refuse to hang out with me... but since she is making some progress, although small, I am more optomistic than I was yesterday....
Thanks for sharing...