If you don't know me yet, I am quite transparent with my wife... I have tried to show her the site... but she hasn't paid much attention yet... but I go on all the time while she is present... she does complain that I am on he site too much... but this site has helped keep my sanity as I have left the org in the past few months... I hope I can reduce my dependence on it as time passes... I just can't show her the thread where I tell you XOXO, lol..... I try not to flirt with anyone here, just in case she decides to join one day and then my posts come back to bite me.... Lance Edited to say: tee hee heeAAG,
Question: Does your wife know your are on this site,LOTS? and have you ever considered showing her???
My tactics are making inroads on my hardcore JW wife
by Awakened at Gilead 108 Replies latest members private
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Awakened at Gilead
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dawg
gnat, here's what I see each and everyday from you and folks like you on this forum... read once again what I wrote... here's what you say to me... "it is quite useless discussing with you the "slow and careful" approach if you don't at least take the time to understand it"... Your words are a waste of time.. they really are, I mean seriously.
I've never said to not be "slow and careful", I've always gave folks hell for not doing anything. Read the above statement I made about "skinning a cat". Really, what a waste of time many of you on this forum are!
I know many of you feel bad that you've done nothing to help your families out, but this continued notion that I think there's only my way to come out to your families is unsubstantiated, and is usually attacked by those that have done nothing and feel guilty for that.
The sites you quoted aren't people that have done nothing, they are people who have spoken out in their own way... so what the hades is your point when the only people I give hell is those that live a complete lie and say nothing?
Again, show me anyone that's changed their families minds saying nothing? -
Awakened at Gilead
Megs,
I just joined FB... can you post the link?
Tx.
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Awakened at Gilead
Really, what a waste of time many of you on this forum are!
dawg... I know where you are coming from... but don't go overboard....
Jgnat makes valid points from her viewpoint as an UBM...
I don't think its necessary to call people "wastes of time"... if you are going to start name-calling you are wasting everyone's time too.... the WTS does enough name-calling and labeling...
I think I have helped some people realize that open communication with the spouse is better for them than sneaking around on JWD and secretly hating the JWs... but calling them names will not help you gain acceptance that this is a positive course of action... you are merely alienating those you are trying to assist.
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dawg
Gnat, here's exactly what I said...."who knows what method works? But I can tell you, saying nothing, living a complete lie just so your family won't shun you... that damn sure produces nothing".
Which honestly begs the question, can you that continue this nonsense read? I mean really, can you?
Here's what one of the do nothings you quoted says...he's obviously not a do nothing.
"I've been able to speak to my wife about how I feel, gently at first. But when she didn't freak out or over-react I was able to talk to her a bit more. The weekend just passed was a bit fraught for us both, but we've come to a decision that it's got to be all about the Bible. Read the Bible. Remove the FDS filter. Just read the Bible. She suggested it. She's been doing it and she says she's enjoying 'the truth' for the first time in a long time"...
Can you read that? Did this man do nothing? No, hell no he didn't... wouldn't you get tired of having your words taken out of context every time you post? I'm freaking sick of it!
Doing nothing means that... nothing. I can't, and will never understand why/how anyone can sleep in the same bed with someone, or even have familiar relationships with anyone that they can't speak their minds-at all... no one, and I freaking mean no one you posted did nothing.. they all spoke out... and as I said, "who knows what methods work"?
I mean, really! I'm so sick of some of you people who must feel guilty, I guess that's what it is because I can't understand it otherwise, keep on with your unfounded insults... I honestly expect more than that out of you gnat, maybe you're having a bad day.
Please show me where you've found anyone that's done nothing and produced results with their families, if you can't, then please cease and desist. -
daniel-p
Jesus, dawg, don't have a cow. So she misunderstood you, big deal. Man up and let it go.
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dawg
Gilead, are you freaking kidding me? Here's what was posted in reply to me....
"Dawg, it is quite useless discussing with you the "slow and careful" approach if you don't at least take the time to understand it".
It's useless huh? I guess I'm too damn stupid to understand something as intricate as the "slow and careful" approach? Bull crap Gilead, that was demeaning... where are you decrying this demeaning comment?
I have never said not to be careful or slow, I've only derided those that do nothing...
The other smart guy 'Open mind" had this to say....
"Hmmm,
ithinkisee,
amazing,
passwordprotected,
just 3 examples that quickly spring to my mind.
We often see what we want to see.
Whatever blows your dress up"
Yea, I'm a real idiot and only see what I want to see.... Where's the outrage while I continue to be misquoted... Good lord, Please! Don't jump my bones for jumping back and then say nothing to the perpetrators -
Awakened at Gilead
dawg,
People have to live with their decisions... I am making mine, and my results are unexpectedly better than anticipated... I figured my wife would have left me by now, but my hardcare tactics are actually drawing us closer since we have open communication... and she seems to like me better now as a good worldly UBM instead of a lousy JW unspiritual head...
which is why I started this thread in the first place... I hope to embolden some who are not doing anything, and they are sitting on the fence...
Edited: Just read your response to me...
All I'm saying is there is no need to deride others.... casutic remarks only serve to alienate others... I agree with you that doing nothing will accomplish nothing. I can't speak about Jgnat, since she has never been a JW... so she has a different angle...
My point to you was that derision (you used that word) will not help people to see the value of your viewpoint... we have been harrased enough by the WTS... we need no more derision. Take it easy, lay off the causticity, and people will see that what you say is reasonable... I agree with what you say, but I don't like how you are saying it....