My tactics are making inroads on my hardcore JW wife

by Awakened at Gilead 108 Replies latest members private

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    I know that I have been both recognized and criticized on my board for my tactics with my hardcore dub wife... I have been 100% frank with her about my anti-WTS stance from day one. I have been announced DAd, since I told both her and the elders that I no longer believed in the WTS rubbish. I have tried to share information with her from the WTS CD-Rom, but to no avail. Last week I shunned her for 36 hours so she would feel what it's like to be shunned (I was planning on doing it for 7 days but I stopped since I didn't want to inflict unnecessary pain on her as it seemed that she got the point - although she felt that I was emotionally unstable to shun her).

    Some have said that they think I should have tried a softer stance... taking it slow and easy... and little by little throwing in snippets into the conversation to show up the WTS... and hope that the wife will pick up on the hupocrisy.

    Others have recognized that my methods, while extreme, may be valid... I would like to update those that are interested on the latest developments... which shows that I think I know what I am doing...

    1. My wife called me today and told me that she is thinking about what I have told her on Monday. I showed her an article in the WT2000 1/15 that says that the number of anointed are dwindling which is proof that the end is near. I created an excel spreadsheet and graph that shows that for that same year, the number of anointed was actually on the rise. She didn't seem to flinch at that chart, but the proof was undeniable... So today she confirmed that she wants to write the society and question why the number of anointed were increasing and they said that they were decreasing. She will let me help her write the letter, lol.
    2. Another point she shared with me today is that she recognizes that the elders did not follow policy when they announced my DA. I specifically told them I was not DAing, but did not believe in the WTS anymore. I told them I was willing to meet with them but they went ahead and sneakily announced it. I have made a big deal about this so my wife would think about it... that seems to be working.
    3. Additionally, she is feeling weird when she is with other JWs. Whe she goes to meetings, other JWs are surprised she is still with me. They tell her to be careful with getting infected with "apostate" thinking. Sometimes when she says something about the organization, even innocently, others dismiss her as being affected by her apostate husband. 2 days ago she went to visit a dying brother in the hospital from the Spanish cong (he actually died yesterday). I also wanted to go to pay my respects, but the dying brother's wife called my family and said that I was not welcome. When my wife went there, she was surrounded by JWs and she bagn to see that some of their thinking was warped. Several told her to be very careful with her husband, and suggested that she should separate from me. This really upset her, and she felt out of place with her own JWs (deja vu for me).

    Anyway, I write this in case some feel that the direct hardline antiJW stance and the DA are not effective methods. In only 3 months my wife is beginning to seriously question the cult. I see this as a significant breakthrough. I know that not everyone will have this same result, and each one knows their own family, but there are advantages to my DA stance, especially the time factor. Fading takes a long time, and influencing the family while not leveling with them takes longer. I respect that everyone's circumstance is different. But this stance is working for me.


  • coolhandluke

    Freaking. Awesome. I'm so happy for you man. Soooo happy. Lets hope the stone keeps rolling and turns into a juggernaut

  • yknot

    Congratulations on the inroads Lance!

    Gotta give it to the 'friends' for helping you out by their 'unchristian' like behavior and attitude toward marriage.

    .......another small crack in the tower.........

  • sir82

    Good show, glad it is working out.

    she confirmed that she wants to write the society and question why the number of anointed were increasing and they said that they were decreasing.

    They have a weasel-out - in the article, it said the number of "genuine" anointed was decreasing - the implication being, the newby anointeds were not "genuine", and were only attention-grabbing narcissists.

    Also, it my be helpful if you point out in advance that:

    1) The Society will immediately forward her letter to the elders, instructing them to give her "spiritual guidance"

    2) It is very very unlikely that she will even get a reply from the society at all. Even if she does, it will not address the issue she raised.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Sir 82: I already prepared her for this...

    She doesn't want the letter to go back to her elders (but we know better... just ask oompa and others)

    I told her that they will use the "genuine" anointed argument... but then I told her why even use that as an argument in the first place that we are close to the end if you can't trust the numbers?

    I hope she writes this letter... if she does, I know that it will become the beginning of the end...

    And I got her out of going to the meeting on Sunday... she's coming to the beach with 40 other "worldly" people from a meetup! More fine "progress"!

    CoolHand, MeetingJ and YK, thanks!

  • TheListener

    Sounds great. I wish I had your guts and results.

    As it is I quietly fade and stress out.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead


    I guess you can see that I don't believe in fading, lol. If it works for you, great. But it's not all its cracked up to be on this forum, IMHO.


  • jgnat

    I figure we each know our circumstances best. You know your wife. You are priming her for what is coming. I love success! I wish you the best with your strategy.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Thanks, jgnat...

    everyone's circumstances are different... but I think some would benefit by being more direct.

  • sacolton
    Several told her to be very careful with her husband, and suggested that she should separate from me.

    I mentioned this to my active-JW wife and she said, "That just poo poo." I asked if anyone from our congregation has been insinuating to her that she should separate/divorce me and she said "no. that wouldn't be scriptural." and I told her that their own publication will grant divorce if the spouse believes his/hers spiritual well-being is in danger. She didn't agree that is scriptural.

    Hmmm. She didn't agree ... hair-line cracks perhaps in the indoctrinated thinking?

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