Oompa - I have only just read this thread and my heart goes out to you. I have been where you are now with alcohol and depression. Of course they both go hand in hand because of the nature of alcohol so its hard to know which comes first - the alcohol or the depression. While you are still using alcohol any medication you take will not work anyway so you really need to put the drink down first.
I have been in AA recovery for many years now and for myself and it has saved my life and my sanity, as it has done for many others that I know of. There is no doubt that the nature of alcoholism is a very complex one and very insidious in the way that it affects the sufferer as well as the people that love and care about them. Often the people who love us the most actually enable us, without realising it, to continue using alcohol. They do this by looking after us, bailing us out when in trouble, and putting up with abuse etc.
There is a term in AA called "Rock bottom" and most alcoholics have to reach their own rock bottom before they get into recovery. For some this only takes place when all the people that looked after them have had enough and wont do it anymore. It doesn't mean that they dont love you anymore, indeed it is very hard to watch someone you care about destroying themself and not try to stop them.
As with many things you have to take the first step if you really want to get well and get off the cycle that you are on. You are worth it!
Maddie